Chapter 34
When I relax into the bed, I feel two different hands touch my skin, one takes my hand and the other rests on my thighs. It’s Jacob who is holding my hand and breaks the silence first.
“We pushed you too hard, you took too many.” Guilt laces his voice.
“No,” I shake my head, “you didn’t, you read me well, you knew I’d enjoy it and I did.
I’m just a little worn out and overwhelmed by it, that’s all.
” I smile softly back into eyes filled with regret.
His eyebrow twitches trying to read my face for lies.
I hope he doesn’t see anything but my honesty because that’s all I have to offer him.
Angus runs his hand up the sleeve of my t-shirt, pulling my attention over to him. He’s seeking reassurance too, he needs to see my eyes and see the truth that lies in them. Finally he says, “You mean it, you had a good time? We didn’t break you?”
That pulls a laugh from my throat, “No Angus, you did not break me. Did you hear me come?”
“Roxy, you came for each of us and it was spectacular!” Angus exclaims.
“How many?” I ask vaguely but he knows what I mean.
“15. Plus us. But if you mean loads of come, we tallied 43 I think I counted from the lines across your body”
“You enjoyed the afternoon?”
“I didn’t think it would be my thing, but watching everyone in that room use and take from you sent my balls into overdrive. I came in your throat, your pussy and your arse. I was wrung out for you Rox, everyone was hot for you.”
Pride swells in my chest, I don’t let remorse or regret take even a tiny footing, I earned this feeling, I’m going to enjoy it. “Pissing in my mouth, that was Mateo?”
“Of course,” replies Angus.
“It set off a chain reaction in the room.” I turn my head to listen to Jacob as he continues, “It wasn’t discussed to piss all over you, but seeing Maeto, everyone got their cocks out again and just went for it.”
“Did you?”
Jacob looks down and then back up to meet my eyes. Blushing he replies, “It was me who pissed in your arsehole. There was so much come leaking out of it, you were a sight and I could have come all over again if you hadn’t drained my balls entirely already.”
“Was it good? You into the piss play too now?”
“You have unlocked many things in us Roxy, we thought we were already a bunch of misfit sexual deviants but turns out we can get even more depraved. But I want to tell you something.”
“Tell me what?”
“I want to tell you that never in my entire life have I or—I can speak for Angus too—never have we come across a woman so open and willing. So open to us and our kinks, so willing to take part in them and then turn them into something new, giving us a new experience we were closed off from until you being you allowed us to open and accept a different way. I know I’ve been…
hard to be with. Awful in fact. Angus and Father have ensured I watched back the way I have been with you.
And I watched, I watched the way I spoke to you and the hurt in your eyes and it was ugly, how have you been able to tolerate me? ”
He stops speaking and looks earnestly at me, he’s truly asking me for my perspective. He’s willing to listen.
I clear my sore throat and croakily begin, “I believed there was someone in there that did care or could care. When you handed me the knife, I knew I was right. You gave me the gift of power and with that power, I wanted to show you that it can be just as good receiving, being submissive and allowing someone else control. It can be freeing, relaxing in a way, a turn on to have someone else call the shots, you wonder what they’re going to do to your body next.
I know you haven’t found what you’re looking for yet, but I’m proof that women like me are out there, maybe you’re looking in the wrong places, maybe you need to submit too to find the one.
But you’re special Jacob, the kind of pleasure that you offer is special, exhilarating.
I gained a new kink being with you, the control and power was intoxicating and now I’m wondering how I’m going to sate my new bloodthirsty desires when I leave here. ”
Jacob’s eyes glow back at me, awe and admiration radiate from him.
“What you have given us, this open mind to try harder to find the women we need to love all of us, each part of us, the good and the messed up, you have given us hope that such a woman is out there. I needed this, to meet you. Angus needed this and to meet you. All this time we had been taught by our past experiences that we are beyond helping or desiring for what we want and enjoy. But you enjoyed everything we did, didn’t you? ”
“Yes,” I breathe, “I loved it all.” I turned to Angus, “But with you, it was a special kind of torture, not being able to reciprocate. I know that is not what you wanted or would enjoy. There is a reason you asked for me to be doll-like, but to not be able to touch you in return, stroke your skin or show affection in return, that was torturous for me.”
Angus takes my hand. “I had no intention of torturing you, but you did everything I imagined and more. I’ve watched our scenes back on repeat, not as if I need to, I replay them back in my mind every day.
But watching our scenes, you were utter perfection.
I believed you were enjoying yourself along with me.
You gave no sign at all of disgust or distaste.
I have great hope that someone like you is out there for me, someone who can love me for me.
That’s all that all three of us wish for.
You are my first choice,” he adds cheekily grinning back at me.
“You are my first choice too,” Jacob whispers in my ear, sending electricity down my spine.
I turn back to him, my eyes filling with tears, but I don’t reply.
“Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d say that five days ago.
Never in my life have I seen eyes shine back at me in desire.
The harder I pushed you, the more I did to you, the more your eyes asked for more. You are something special, Roxy.”
A rogue tear tips from my eyes, without hesitation Jacob leans into me with familiarity, tracing his tongue along the path of my tear. He pulls back to see my face crumple as I feel the weight of the connection we have forged and will lose tomorrow morning.
Leaning back into me, he presses a kiss onto my lips, stroking away flyaway hairs that are sticking to my damp cheeks. “Don’t cry for us Roxy, you have been a gift of the best kind.”
I sob into the crook of his neck, Angus leans into my back hugging me from behind as Jacob’s arms bind around my waist. We stay huddled with me silently weeping until footsteps draw our eyes to the doorway and Mateo walks in with food.
The smell hits my stomach making it growl and breaking the sombre mood of the room.
Rubbing my eyes, the boys slowly release me from their embrace.
“A simple carbonara and the finest champagne we have in the cellar,” declares Mateo. That has me smiling.
The brothers hop out of bed and fetch the remaining plates and glasses and all four of us sit on my bed with a tray and eat the delicious pasta and sip the champagne. Silence hangs over the room as we eat and then linger when the food is gone. I empty my glass feeling bolder and break the silence.
“Thank you for choosing me,” I murmur and damn those tears fill my eyes again.
It’s Mateo who answers in reply, “The gratitude is all ours, little rabbit. You were the best investment this family has ever made. We will replay our time together until we meet our own version of you because what you have given each of us is hope.”
“You three will stay with me, I’ll carry you in my heart.” It’s a promise because I know I will.
“And you will be in ours,” Angus replies.
Mateo pours the remaining champagne in our glasses and declares a toast, “To hope and finding our own version of happiness.”
I repeat the words but I know in my gut I’ve already found mine and he, well, they are waiting for me patiently at home. My love, my heart and my Matty.
The men hustle around me to take the plates and the empty glasses.
It’s been a big day on my body and on my emotions.
I brush my teeth and both Angus and Jacob lay curled into me, I enjoy their beautifully lean bodies for one more evening as fingers gently rub up and down my skin in different places on my body, wherever they can reach, and I’m lulled into a sleep of exhaustion.