Chapter 20
Somehow there were just ten days until Christmas. Diane couldn’t quite believe it. It was team meeting time and there was a lot to get through to make sure they made it to Christmas in one piece.
‘Right, Jolene,’ said Diane, sitting down at the table. ‘Let’s start with you. Why don’t you update everyone on where you’re at with the mayor’s event?’
Jolene looked round the table. ‘Diane sang on the stage in the West End – it was totally and utterly amazing,’ she said.
‘I didn’t mean that part,’ said Diane.
‘You did what?’ said Yang.
‘I’ll explain in a minute,’ said Diane. ‘Tell them about the meeting with Barbara Vasey.’
‘Well, she was a bit dismissive at first – in fact, I thought she wasn’t listening to me at all – and then Diane said the magic words and, hey presto, we have two capsules on Thursday from 5.30 p.m.’
‘Bloody hell,’ said Jerry. ‘What were the magic words?’
‘Impending planning permission,’ said Diane.
Jerry shook his head in awe. ‘Genius, utter genius. That’s why you’re the boss.’
‘Thank you,’ nodded Diane.
‘But you haven’t heard the best of it yet,’ said Jolene. ‘We just strolled into this theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue and there were the elves – our elves – on stage, and Diane asked her husband, can I have your elves and he turns to the elves and says do you want to go to a party on the London Eye and have your photo taken, and they all jump up and down in excitement and said yes they would like to go to a party and have their picture in the paper, and then the man asked Diane, our boss, if she’ll help with this song they’re practising and so she gets up on stage and sings her heart out and I filmed it so we should set up a WhatsApp group called Diane’s Singing, or something, and you should watch her because she is soooooooo good.’
Everyone looked aghast at Diane.
Diane looked round defiantly. ‘You all knew that’s what I used to do, right? Before this.’
‘No,’ said Jerry. ‘You know how much I love musical theatre and you never told me you used to be part of it. Never. I would have remembered it. I’m googling you,’ he said, picking his phone up.
‘Don’t,’ shouted Diane. ‘It’s all in the past. A very long time ago. And that is where it’s staying.’ She glared at Jolene, wishing she had told her that she was not to mention her singing under any circumstances.
‘So,’ said Diane, ‘as Jolene says, we have the London Eye, and some elves. Jolene, all you need to find now is a Santa Claus.’
‘I’ll be Santa Claus,’ said Barney.
Everyone turned to stare.
‘Wow,’ said Jolene. ‘Thank you, that’s amazing. You won’t regret it.’
‘Mm, maybe,’ said Barney, shifting in his chair. ‘Linda always used to get me to do it years ago for playgroup and for the school. Said I made a good Santa. Had the right girth.’
‘Are you sure?’ asked Jolene. ‘I’d got my dad on standby, but he’s as skinny as a rake so not quite got the figure for it. You would be so much better. But only do it if you want to. I mean, I don’t want it to upset you if it reminds you of Linda.’
‘As you said earlier,’ said Barney, looking at Jolene, ‘memories are really important. Especially the happy ones. I’m lucky enough to have many happy memories being Santa years ago. Why not make a few more?’
‘Thanks, Barney,’ said Jolene. ‘That’s amazing. Stacey kindly put me in touch with Grace’s school,’ she continued. ‘The teacher was delighted. Said she was trying to think of a treat for them after the Nativity play and this is perfect. She did make one request, though. I think it came via Grace.’
‘Oh God, what has she asked for?’ asked Stacey.
‘They want to come in their Nativity play costumes. In fact, I think Grace demanded that she come dressed as a donkey,’ said Jolene with a smile.
Stacey shook her head. ‘That girl,’ she sighed. ‘I’m going to the Nativity play later so I can check out the costumes, if you like. How would it look in the photo op, do you think?’
‘I think it will look fantastic,’ said Jolene. ‘A full Nativity play cast, Father Christmas, some elves, and the mayor – bound to make the front page, don’t you think? You cannot get more Christmassy than that. I told the teacher that was fine. Did I do right?’ she asked Diane.
‘Sounds like you have it all under control,’ said Diane. ‘Well done.’
‘Can I ask a massive favour?’ asked Jolene. ‘I could really do with some help on the night. Just to make sure everyone is in place.’
‘I was planning to come anyway,’ said Diane. ‘You’ll need help controlling the mayor.’
‘I’ll be there to keep an eye on Grace, anyway,’ said Stacey.
‘I can come,’ jumped in Yang. ‘No problem. Just tell me what I need to do.’
‘Father Christmas will be there, of course,’ smiled Barney.
‘Oh, I’ll come too then,’ said Jerry. ‘Wouldn’t want to miss out on a free trip on the London Eye, would I? And there are no choir rehearsals now that we’ve done the carol concert so I’ve nothing better to do.’
‘Wait,’ said Jolene, staring at Jerry. ‘I didn’t know you sang in a choir. That’s really … interesting. Where do you sing?’
‘St Martin-in-the-Fields,’ replied Jerry. ‘We just did a concert for five hundred people, actually.’
‘Noted,’ said Jolene, nodding. ‘Very good to know.’
‘Right,’ said Diane, ‘the mayor’s event is under control. Now, how is project “Cancel Christmas”, going?’
Jerry opened a file and handed copies of a spreadsheet around the table.
‘So myself and Yang completed a total of forty-five surveys and the results are pretty conclusive, as you see. I think we need to do a few more to make it robust, but there wasn’t one person who said that the Christmas expenditure represented value for money. I think we’d be well within our rights to suggest that Bermondsey Council does not deliver on Christmas to its residents and so we therefore should look to present it as a cost saving for next year.’
Diane swallowed and nodded. ‘OK,’ she said. ‘So what did you conclude, Barney and Jolene, with your interviews?’ she asked.
Barney said nothing, leaving Jolene to fill the void.
‘Er, we did twenty-five interviews in total,’ she began.
‘Twenty-five!’ exclaimed Stacey. ‘Why did it take you so long?’
Jolene looked awkwardly at Barney. He still said nothing, despite the fact the reason was that Jolene had done the vast majority on her own. ‘We were really listening,’ she said. ‘Listening to them talk about Christmas.’
‘Jolene did most of the work,’ interjected Barney. ‘That’s why we didn’t do as many. She didn’t want me to get wet in the rain, which was very good of her. But Jolene is right: we really listened. Listened to what they said about Christmas, not just the answers to the questions.’
‘And what did you conclude?’ asked Diane.
Barney looked at Jolene. She gave a small nod, indicating for him to go ahead.
‘It had given them memories. Memories they treasured in a way that better public toilets and better roads never could,’ he said, looking at Diane intently. Then he turned to Jolene. ‘That’s what they said wasn’t it, Jolene? How special their memories were of Christmas.’
Jolene nodded rapidly. ‘Yes, Barney,’ she replied. ‘That’s exactly right. The lights, the tree, the ice rink when we used to do it. All of that was part of happy memories. Happy times. And yes, they want money spent on all the stuff that’s falling apart, but maybe not at the expense of Christmas.’
Diane didn’t know what to say. She’d thought cancelling Christmas was going to be the thing that got her out of making anyone redundant. Now it sounded as if it wouldn’t be as straightforward a decision as she had thought.
‘So it’s a tough choice,’ she said, looking round the table. Everyone was looking nervously back at her. Clearly all thinking the same thing. It wasn’t going to be easy choosing between someone’s job or taking away part of people’s Christmas memories in the area.
‘Well, we could probably do with a few more in-depth interviews,’ said Diane, looking down and shuffling papers. ‘And then … and then we shall see where we’re at.’
‘I’m sorry you’re in this position,’ said Jolene suddenly.
‘What position?’ asked Diane.
‘Having to make this horrendous decision. And at Christmas too. I imagine it’s very stressful. I hope whoever has picked you in the Secret Santa Project can work out how to bring you just a little bit of joy. I really do.’
‘Thank you, Jolene,’ replied Diane. ‘I hope so too.’
‘Er, can I ask a question about that?’ said Yang. ‘The Secret Santa Project, I mean.’
‘Yep,’ said Jolene.
‘Well, does it have to be secret? I mean, I’ve been given a good idea but it can’t be a secret. I kind of have to do it now, really.’
‘Will it make someone’s Christmas?’ asked Jolene.
‘I believe it will,’ said Yang, looking at Jerry. He smiled and nodded back.
‘Well, brilliant. Great. Yes, just get on with it.’
‘What now?’
‘Why not?’
‘Er, OK. Well, Stacey, I got you. And, er, I believe you have been asked to a party and you need a babysitter, so can my Secret Santa be coming to look after Grace for you?’
Stacey sat there stunned. Then she leaped out of her seat, ran round the table and hugged Yang.
‘How did you know? That is the absolute best gift anyone could give me. I couldn’t ask you again – it didn’t seem right – but a Secret Santa gift, amazing! It’s in the Tower of London, can you believe that? The actual Tower of London. This is the best Christmas ever,’ she said, giving Yang a kiss on the cheek before returning to her seat, beaming.
‘That’s really very good of you, Yang,’ agreed Diane, smiling. ‘How exciting, Stacey. But the big question is, what are you going to wear?’
‘Oh,’ she said, clutching her head. ‘I was going to ask you, if I managed to sort out the babysitting nightmare. Would you have anything? You always look so amazing. I thought … well, I thought you might lend me something.’
‘Of course I will,’ grinned Diane. ‘It would be my absolute pleasure. Will you let me do your make-up too?’ she asked.
‘Really?’
‘Only if you’re comfortable with that. I love doing other people’s make-up. Chloe used to let me do hers, but she doesn’t let me anywhere near her now. Doesn’t even wear much, to be honest.’
‘I would love that,’ said Stacey. ‘You’re so much better than me. I can’t believe it,’ she said, looking round the table. ‘Thank you, Yang. Thank you, Diane. Really, this is amazing. Can’t wait to tell Will.’
‘Looks like you shall go to the ball,’ grinned Jerry. ‘No pressure on the rest of us now over Secret Santa,’ he said, looking round the table.
‘You know you said you were in a choir earlier?’ said Jolene.
‘Er, yes?’ replied Jerry, suddenly looking nervous. ‘What of it?’
‘Can we have a chat later? You might be able to help me with something, and maybe then I could perhaps help you with some ideas for your Secret Santa?’
Jerry nodded. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘All ideas would be most welcome. I’m stumped.’
‘Great,’ said Jolene, grinning. ‘Really great.’
Just at that moment Stacey’s phone buzzed angrily on the table.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, looking at it. ‘It’s the school.’
‘Take it,’ said Diane.
Stacey picked up her phone. ‘Hello.’
Everyone watched as she nodded, then sighed, her eyes darting around the room. Then she said, ‘Tell her I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise.’
She put the phone down. ‘Sorry about that,’ she said. ‘Grace insisted they call me. She’s refusing to go on stage if they don’t.’ She turned to Yang. ‘I can’t believe I’m asking you this, given what you’ve just offered to do for me, but Grace wanted to make sure that I’d asked you to go to her Nativity play this afternoon to watch her sing the “Donkey Love” song. I told her last night that you wouldn’t want to go and that you’re at work, but she won’t listen. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with that girl.’
Yang looked at Stacey. ‘I’ll come,’ he said.
‘What!’ said Stacey. ‘No, really, you don’t have to.’
‘Can I go?’ Yang asked Diane. ‘I came in at six this morning to plug in all the numbers from the survey. Can you let me off a little early?’
‘Er, yes,’ she said. ‘If you want to?’
Yang looked at Stacey. ‘I’d like to come and see Grace sing in a Nativity play. Never watched one before.’ He shrugged. ‘Feel like I’ve missed out.’
Stacey stared back at him, blinking.
‘Good lad,’ said Barney, nodding.
‘Thank you,’ she said to Yang, clearly baffled by his desire to go. ‘You’ll make her Christmas.’
Yang shrugged. ‘Why wouldn’t I want to go and see a young child murder a song I wrote?’ he said.
‘Yeah,’ said Jerry, giving him a curious look. ‘Why wouldn’t you?’