Chapter 4 #2
“So, tell me, what’s put a bounce into your step again, Miss Sophie?
” I can hear the smile in his voice without having to see it.
Zee has been my driver the entire time I’ve been a playmate, he’s never missed a job.
Loyal to a fault and I love that about him, I love speaking to him and spending this time with him.
From what I’m told by the other playmates, they don’t really talk with their driver, but I was gifted Zee who chats with me non-stop.
We’re like old friends and I have suggested on more than one occasion we hang out or at least I take one of his PT sessions.
Each time he has rebuffed the suggestion, preaching Clarendon rules.
I once even suggested no one needs to know, but alas, Zee is a stickler for rules.
And fair enough, those are his boundaries and I respect that.
I imagine Zee with his Harry Potter glasses, thick stubble which he never lets grow out or shaves off, always looking immaculate and pristine.
“I want to tell you but I’m worried you won't be happy and will tell me off,” I say guiltily.
“Tell you off? What is this, school?” Zee laughs thinking I’m messing around.
“I’m not joking Zee, I know how you feel about the rules of the Clarendon.”
“Okay, so you’ve broken a rule? Which one?” I feel like I'm shrinking into my seat under the scrutiny of his eyes from the rearview mirror, even though I can’t see them.
“It’s not just one, it’s a few. Are you sure you want to know?”
“Yes I want to know, you can’t not tell me now. I want to know what is making my friend happy. Unless you don’t feel like you can trust me?”
“No, it’s not that. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.”
“How? Just tell me Sophie. I promise I won’t ever be disappointed in you,” he replies, sounding sincere.
“I met someone,” I’m relieved to confess my recent events to someone finally. I do trust Zee, he’s been my friend for the best part of three years now. It’s how he’ll take what I’m about to share with him that I’m worried about.
“You met someone?” Zee replies and his voice pitches high in surprise.
“Well, yeah kind of, well, I didn’t meet someone in real life. Zee, this is going to sound like I hit my head. And I need you to cut me some slack here. Nothing has been happening in my real life and out of the blue this masked man enters it and he’s got me all fired up. Can you keep a secret?”
“What kind of a secret?”
“A secret secret, the one where you don’t tell anyone else.”
“Okay,” Zee replies, sounding confused.
“Promise Zee, this is a big deal.”
“Ok, I promise. What’s going on Soph?” Zee replies now sounding concerned.
“I received this email out of the blue—to my playmate email account that no one ever uses or knows about—and this guy, his name is Mack, he wants me to be his online submissive or something. I know, it sounds all kinds of whack, I get it, I’ve never heard of anything like it.
But he is hot, Zee. So sexy and dominant.
He knows what he wants and I think I’m going to meet him now. ”
“Sophie, clients are not meant to contact you,” Zee replies, surprised with an edge of something else I can’t identify in his tone.
“I know, please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to get him into trouble or kicked out of the club. I want to get to know him and I think that starts on this job,” I exclaim excitedly.
“Sophie, how many people have contacted you as members of the Clarendon?”
“None, until him.”
“Thats because rules are rules. Who is this guy? What do you know about him?”
“I don’t know anything. But he’s gorgeous, I haven’t seen his face but—” Zee cuts me off.
“You haven’t seen his face? How do you know he’s gorgeous? I don’t like this, Sophie, some guy you don’t know contacts you on a private, unknown email address and persuades you to be his submissive and you just agree?”
“It’s not like that,” I say petulantly. I know Zee is looking out for me but I’m a grown woman and can make my own decisions.
“I’ve seen his eyes and they want me, I’ve never seen eyes so fired and hungry as his.
There is something about him, I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the trouble he’s gone to to contact me, or the fact he’s chosen me, he wants me.
Or maybe it’s the dangerous side of this arrangement, the not knowing who he is, even though I’m sure to find out who he is really soon now.
” I use my hands to convey my feelings even though I can’t see my hands flying around in front of me and I’m sure Zee is not looking as he drives us.
“You think he’s the client you’re going to meet now?” replies Zee changing the direction of our conversation.
“Yes, he told me to take this job. It must be him,” I say. “And that means he’s a real vetted member so he must be safe.”
“Why go to the trouble of contacting you and asking to be your online dom if he’s going to see you today?”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” I trail off. “It doesn’t make sense, none of it. But when I speak to him, it feels like I am the only person on this planet for him. It feels nice.”
“That’s how he wants you to feel. It’s not quite making sense.”
“I know Zee. But life has been… so blah lately. Even being a playmate has lost its flavour. I don’t know where I am going or what I am doing anymore.”
“Do any of us, Sophie?”
“You do,” I say softly. “You are my driver by day, a personal trainer by night or morning or whenever it is you train. You have your life mapped out. You probably have a secret girlfriend or boyfriend you are about to propose to for all I know too. Probably some kids on the horizon, a nice house with a picket fence. But who wants me? An aging, glorified escort that normal clients don’t want to speak to or get to know because they use me for what they need and go back to their ‘normal’ lives with their loved ones, their giant houses and their white picket fences.
” I’m beginning to sound shrill but I can’t help the pain in my voice.
“Sophie, I can promise you now, I do not have my shit together and my life mapped out. Not even close. I know we chat on our journeys together but there is so much about my life you don’t know and wouldn’t want you to.
I promise you, my life is no rosier than yours.
We are all pushing our own shit up different hills, sometimes you don’t know it until you scratch the surface. ”
I soften and frown into my eyemask. “Zee. We have been friends for years, you can speak to me, why have you never said anything to me? I want to be friends that share. I know this is meant to be a working relationship, but work friends can share too.”
“It’s complicated,” Zee replies with a heavy sigh.
“I can do complicated Zee, I want to. We’re friends, good friends in my eyes.
I told you about Mack. It feels so much better sharing.
He’s bringing colour back into my life, Zee.
He’s adding the flavour and the spicy aroma that has been missing lately.
He’s turning my beige into red hot flames and I’m not sorry about it.
I want to feel anything but beige and if that is because some hot guy chose me to be his online submissive, then I’ll take that option over beige one thousand times over.
Wouldn’t you?” We sit in silence for a minute as Zee, I assume, digests what I’ve just laid bare to him.
Until now, I hadn’t realised how low I’d let myself become.
I hadn’t realised until voicing it just now, how much I need something, anything to change up the rut I’ve got stuck in that is my life.
I say goodbye to more people than I let in.
I want to let Mack in, I have a great big giant black hole in my life and it’s sucking me in, it’s consuming me. Zee clears his throat.
“I’m sorry Sophie, I was just concerned for your welfare is all.
I can understand your need to break up the routine before you get lost in it and it sours you from the inside out.
I get it, in more ways than you may realise.
You’re right, if some secret gorgeous lady messaged me out of the blue and wanted to be my online playmate, I can’t imagine I’d ever say no—ever.
I want you to be careful, that’s all. You already know what is happening is not normal, and this guy, this Mack, you need to pay attention and watch out for any red flags and you need to take note of them, don’t ignore them.
No should haves, could haves, would haves.
This is serious—yes enjoy yourself, but do it with your eyes wide open. Promise me.”
“I promise, Zee. But if you have anything that bothers you or you need to talk about it, I’m here OK? It sounds like you have stuff going on behind the scenes, maybe I can help?”
I can hear the warmth return in his voice as he begins, “I know you would. I just don’t like sharing the shit stuff, I prefer to just chat like we do and have a good time when we’re together. That is always the route I prefer to take, that is what makes me feel better.”
“Ok, if you ever do want to talk about the shit stuff, our shit stuff might be similar, and you might not know if you don’t bring it up. It might help?”
“It’s not, but I will do my best to share the good bits and the bad bits. How’s that?”
“Better.”
“Good because we are here. Please be careful. I know all the members are vetted but still. There is a first for everything. I will be close by should you need me. And use your safe-word if you need to, what is it Sophie?”
“It’s Neptune, but I will be fine,” I say, removing the mask to see we have arrived in an underground car park.
I look around blinking in the lights to see we’re parked next to the elevator but see no cars on this level.
I look towards Zee meaningfully as he turns back to look at me.
“Promise,” I smile back and can’t help the excitement I feel bubbling up inside of me at my impending job.
I open the door to hear Zee back to his playful self, “You are to go to level 12, room 1201. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“As if!” I reply, us both knowing I will absolutely be doing everything Zee would never do, because that is why I am a playmate and he is my driver.