Chapter 10
Everyone heads for the cafeteria except me. I go in the opposite direction, to the nurse’s office. I need to get my cell phone back. I don’t even want to think about what Mom would say if I came home without it.
There’s a small cluster of adults standing outside the principal’s office and talking. I recognize Mr. Lundin.
He looks smaller, somehow. He’s wearing the same blue Adidas jacket as yesterday, except today the fabric is dirty and covered in mud stains. His reddish hair is all tangled. The woman standing opposite him has her arms crossed over her chest, as though giving herself a tight hug.
It’s Marianne, I realize. Axel’s mother. I feel a tug at my heart. Her thick dark hair is a mess, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Marianne is speaking loudly, with angry eyes and ruddy cheeks. She’s in constant movement, seemingly incapable of standing still for a single second.
She stops talking when I pass them, and I hear her rapid, shallow breaths. I lower my gaze to avoid making eye contact and slip out the door.
My heart is pounding when I emerge onto the steps. I rush toward the nearest path without thinking, desperate to get away as fast as possible.
I don’t hear the footsteps behind me at first. It’s only when I feel a tap on my shoulder that I realize Rasmus has followed me.
He doesn’t look like himself. He is usually effervescent with cheerful energy. Not now. It’s like the light inside him has gone out. He looks disheveled, with an ashen face and dark circles under his eyes.
A few golden-brown leaves drift to the ground. Moisture drips from the branches behind him.
I want to say something, tell him everything will be okay, maybe even give him a hug.
But it’s way too awkward.
“Yes?” is all I say.
It sounds too harsh and sharp. I immediately feel bad. Rasmus looks as though I’ve smacked him, like he might crumble apart.
“I have your cell phone.” He holds out his hand. Only then do I see that he is indeed holding my phone.
“Can we talk for a minute?” he asks quietly.
I would much rather just turn around and walk away. Rasmus belongs in the cafeteria with the other students. But something makes me pause.
Those lights in the forest. The sounds from the sea.
Rasmus was there. He’s the only person who can confirm that I’m not losing my mind.
I scrape my shoe along the pine-covered path, hesitate, then blurt out: “Let’s go to the library. It’s usually empty.”
Then I hurry away before I can change my mind.
There’s nobody in the library when we get there, but I go all the way to the back anyway.
When I turn around, Rasmus is right there. I didn’t look to see if he was following me and wasn’t sure he would. I can’t say whether I would have been relieved or disappointed if he hadn’t.
It smells of dust and old books.
Neither of us says anything, and I hide behind my hair even more than usual. It’s messier than ever, but I don’t care. I can’t let him see my scars.
“Do you know where Axel is?” Rasmus says finally.
“No!” I snap, more loudly than intended. “Of course not,” I add, more quietly.
Does he believe me? I can’t read the expression on his tired, sad face, but suddenly it feels like a matter of life and death. He has to know I’m not lying.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear.”
Behind Rasmus is a book cart with books waiting to be reshelved. I can’t bring myself to look at him. I stare at the cover at the top of the pile instead. It’s part of the Twilight series.
“I know,” he says with a sigh.
He looks so helpless.
“I guess I was just . . . hoping you might know something. That maybe you saw . . . something yesterday.”
“I wish I did know something,” I admit, both to him and to myself. “But I didn’t see Axel. Only you.”
I swallow and finally ask him, “Do you remember anything at all?”
Rasmus shakes his head.
He has always looked short next to Axel, but I can feel how he towers over me. I have to lift my chin to look him in the eye when he answers.
“No. Well, maybe one thing, but I don’t really know . . .”
He closes his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them again, I know what he’s about to say.
“Did you see them?” he asks.
Relief floods through me, and I don’t hesitate a single second before answering.
“Yes. I saw them too.”