Chapter 23
I take a big sip from my cup and feel a welcome rush of warmth spread through my body. I’m still shivering with cold.
The hot chocolate tastes powdery, but it doesn’t matter. I greedily shovel down a few chocolate wafers that Officer Henriksson managed to dig out of a cabinet.
We are the only people in school. Officer Henriksson unlocked the doors when we got back—although where he got the keys from, I couldn’t say—and then went to call our parents.
Rasmus didn’t want to give him his father’s number, said he’d rather call him himself, but Officer Henriksson insisted and Rasmus relented eventually.
He didn’t even ask me. Maybe he still has Mom’s number from last time.
My cheeks get hot just thinking about how she and Dad are going to react to all this.
Rasmus sits on the chair next to me. He hasn’t touched his hot chocolate, and he looks like his mind is a million miles away. I wonder what he’s thinking. Is he disappointed? Or angry about what I said just before Officer Henriksson found us?
The door opens, and Officer Henriksson comes back in.
“Your parents have given me permission to speak to you in their absence.”
He gives Rasmus a look. “Your father sounded rather relieved when I called. He was very worried when he woke up and found you gone.”
Rasmus stares down at the floor.
“Right. So,” Officer Henriksson says and sits down opposite us. He rests his elbows on the table and steeples his fingers. “What were you doing out in the woods? Tell me the truth.”
We’re in the faculty lounge. The walls are chalk white, not cream colored like the rest of the school. If I stare at them long enough, I can imagine I’m going blind.
“What were you doing out there?” I blurt out.
Officer Henriksson leans back in his chair. “My job,” he says.
“It’s your job to loiter in the woods on a Saturday?”
Why am I being so disrespectful? I don’t know where this is coming from. But I can’t bring myself to be quiet and well behaved. I’m done with that.
“It’s my job to search for Axel,” he says calmly. “Which is precisely what I am trying to do. We’re forming another search party in an hour.”
He opens his notepad and takes out a pen.
“Am I right in thinking that’s what you were doing out there too?”
I glance over at Rasmus. He doesn’t look like he’s listening. His neck is flushed, and his hands are shoved deep in his pockets.
“Is that the case?” asks Officer Henriksson.
Is Rasmus going to say anything?
I leave space for him to speak, but he doesn’t make a sound.
So neither do I.
Officer Henriksson studies Rasmus as he keeps his gaze fixed stubbornly on the tabletop.
“You know,” he continues, directed only at Rasmus, “you claim not to remember anything, but I think there’s a lot you’re not telling me. Which is a problem, because I need to know everything you can remember that might help us find Axel. The more time that passes, the harder it gets.”
He leans across the table.
“I don’t know why you kids are refusing to tell the truth. Maybe Axel is hiding somewhere and you two have promised to help him. Maybe you know the person who took him or hurt him. Maybe you’re frightened—how am I to know?”
Officer Henriksson’s voice is getting more forceful.
“But staying quiet isn’t going to make anything better.
You have to understand that. It won’t help Axel.
You have to think of your classmate. And his parents, if nothing else.
If you’re scared, I can see to it that you’re kept safe. But you have to start speaking to me.”
Dense silence.
“It’s been three days since Axel disappeared,” says Officer Henriksson. “Three days is a very long time to be alone in the woods. Or alone with a kidnapper.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Rasmus bursts out furiously. “He’s gone. Don’t you get it?”
His face is contorted with rage. Like he might pounce on Officer Henriksson at any moment.
“You’re forcing us to listen to this crap to get us to admit to something that we haven’t even done.
You don’t know what you’re talking about, and you have no idea where Axel is.
” Rasmus’s shoulders are so high and tense they’ve engulfed his neck.
He gesticulates with tightly clenched fists. “You have no idea!” he screams.
Is this the way he’s felt the whole time? Did I just not notice how much anger he’s been carrying?
“Help me, then,” says Officer Henriksson.
He is still perfectly calm. As if he doesn’t notice Rasmus’s rage.
“Just tell me what happened,” the officer says.
Rasmus leaps out of his chair and yells:
“I don’t remember! Don’t you understand?”
He stands there panting after his outburst and staring at Officer Henriksson.
For a second I think he’s about to cry.
“I don’t know what happened,” he says. “I really don’t know.”
“Sit down,” Officer Henriksson says in the same neutral tone as before.
Rasmus sinks slowly into the chair. His hands are shaking as he places them on the rigid armrests.
“Is that why you were out in the woods?”
Rasmus nods and I quickly do the same.
“What’s the last thing you remember from Wednesday?” Officer Henriksson’s question sounds private, like a conversation between just him and Rasmus. I wonder if I’m really supposed to be here, but no one has told me to leave, so I do nothing. Just make myself as small as possible.
Rasmus sits still for a few seconds, then lets out a barely perceptible sigh.
“We were heading down to the beach,” he says, sounding simultaneously a lot older and a lot younger than he is.
“We’d been through the woods and were about to cut down to the water.
The fog was so thick, it was like . . . we couldn’t see anything.
We couldn’t see each other at all from more than, like, three yards away.
Axel was goofing around, turning it into a game, disappearing into the mist and then sneaking up to trip me, pranks like that. Pretty childish.”
His voice trembles as he rubs his forehead and shuts his eyes.
“I remember, like . . . a splash. Strange noises coming from the water. Axel was ahead of me, running toward the shore. I’d stopped at the edge of the woods.”
“How come?” asks Officer Henriksson.
“To tie my laces.” A dreamy look has come over Rasmus’s face.
“What else do you remember?” Officer Henriksson asks.
“There was a weird smell. Sort of rotten, like fermented seaweed or a dead animal. Those weird noises were still coming from the water. Axel wanted to have a look and see what it was.”
Rasmus still has his eyes closed.
“I saw his back disappear into the mist as he ran in the direction of the sound. That’s the last thing I remember. That and the smell.”
He opens his eyes again and stares into space. “And then it’s just . . . darkness.”
I think Officer Henriksson is about to ask more questions about the splashing sound and where the nasty smell was coming from. Instead he just says, “And after that?”
Rasmus doesn’t look at me.
“Then I was lying on the ground in the woods and Tuva was there. My head ached. It was cold, and I didn’t know how I’d gotten there. But I knew that Axel had disappeared. That he was gone. Somehow I just knew that right away.”
Rasmus is so close to telling the truth. Those dancing lights are on the tip of his tongue, just a moment away from revelation.
How can Officer Henriksson not realize? It seems so obvious to me.
But he doesn’t seem to notice Rasmus’s hesitation. Instead he strokes his chin thoughtfully. Then, for the first time, he turns to me.
“You can both go home now.” His voice is very stern. “I don’t want you out in those woods on your own, not on the weekend or after school. Whatever has happened to Axel, we don’t know if it’s safe for you to be out there right now.”
He smiles weakly and adds, “We can’t risk more kids going missing. Do you understand?”
I get up and Rasmus does the same.
“If you want to go out there again,” Officer Henriksson continues, “call me first so I can go with you. You must promise not to go out there again without an adult.”
I nod dumbly.
“Good,” the officer says. “I’ll escort you to the dock.”
No one says a word on the way to the boats. The silence is oppressive. I don’t want to get in that boat again, never want to set foot near the water again, but I have no choice. Not now, when Officer Henriksson is coming with us.
The sun is dazzling white in the pale fall sky. The small, jagged waves glitter in the light.
Officer Henriksson bends down to untie the mooring lines for Rasmus’s boat. “Rasmus, why don’t you go first so you don’t get in each other’s way.”
Rasmus steps into his boat and starts the engine. He drives off without looking back or saying a word. I’m just about to hop onto our orange boat, but Officer Henriksson holds up his hand.
“Just a minute, Tuva.”
I stand completely still.
Officer Henriksson puts a heavy hand on my arm. “I’m pretty sure you know more than you’ve been letting on,” he says slowly. He doesn’t sound angry or threatening—more like pleading. “Can you tell me about it?”
He doesn’t seem to be expecting an answer. I stay quiet and avoid eye contact.
Officer Henriksson waits a few seconds, then nods.
“Drive carefully. Your parents will be worried. Your mother didn’t sound too pleased on the phone.”
I step down onto the boat and cast off, calmly and carefully, with precise maneuvers.
Officer Henriksson is still standing on the dock as I move away. I guess he wants to make sure I get off safely. My stomach tightens as I leave Runmaro behind. The sea is not my only source of anxiety this time.
I can’t get that image of Rasmus in the faculty lounge out of my mind. The fury in his face, his sadness replaced with anger.
Why did I have to go and say all that crap in the woods? Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? I’ve kept it shut my whole life. Why should today be any different?
I drive without thinking, faster than I should. I just want to get home, even though I’m not sure things will be any better once I get there.
When I arrive, I moor at the dock but stay seated in the boat as it rocks restlessly beneath me. I don’t want to go up to the house. I don’t want to have to confront Mom and Dad, waiting for me at the kitchen table.
They are bound to want an explanation. Maybe an apology. It will last all day, and then, even when that’s done, it still won’t be over.
Awkward silences aren’t easy to break.
It’s too cold to sit still, but before I disembark, I pull my phone out of my pocket. I need to send Rasmus a message, anything to make him want to stay in touch.
I can’t stand the thought of us being enemies.
But when I get my phone out, I see he’s beaten me to it. A message flashes from Rasmus School.
thanks for coming with me