Chapter 2 A Simple Choice
TWO
A SIMPLE CHOICE
The heaviness of the moon presses down on me when my eyes open to the shadowy room. I can’t say when I finally gave up the constant dread and let my mind rest, but it seems to have happened. Sleep and a bit of calm found me.
It just didn’t last long enough.
Dim lighting dances across the smooth white walls, and the sound of the mating chanting sways in rhythm with the flickering light of the flames that are awaiting me outside.
It’s almost time.
In just under an hour, I’ll walk out to the highest ground beneath our Goddess Moon, and mate with the one man I’ll look to for guidance from now until forever. Well, that’s not entirely true. Eventually, I suppose I’ll die.
Sounds real fucking romantic, doesn’t it?
At the simple thought of living a long empty life of lies, my heart pounds harder against my chest. The air caught in my throat fights to fill my lungs. I can’t breathe.
You’ll be safe though… He’ll keep you safe…
Maybe I should leave.
I should…
I—
A slamming of rattling glass shakes through my anxiety.
I’m on my feet, and the beast inside me is baring its teeth against my lips before I can bite back its snarl. My canines are on full display when I lock gazes with the palest green eyes just outside the window.
They’re like sea glass catching sunlight: Electric and calming all at the same time.
And yet, the dark wolf peering through the bedroom window is a threat to me.
Stranger, my beast hisses.
A beautiful, beautiful stranger, my mind argues.
The way my molars grind at the sight of the threat sends a painful stabbing straight through my jaw. Every muscle in my body tenses tightly, and as fight or flight soars through my body, my feet are storming toward the asshole before the adrenaline or logic can fully settle in.
The window flings up with the force of my palms, and I’m face-to-face with the smoky wolf, who simply stares me down. I’m less than an inch away from his smooth snout. The heat of his even breath fans against my cheek, and I wait for his move.
Until I’m tired of waiting.
I’m so damn tired of waiting for things to happen in my life.
And this fucker is no different.
“What do you want, Hell Cunt?”
Those pretty shining eyes appraise me in a mocking way that makes my blood boil despite the cool breeze that wafts through my sheer gown.
Two big paws press into the white window frame. He lifts himself until he’s looking down at me. He perches there with more of his weight as if he’ll climb right in. Boards creak beneath his massive body.
Then, charred black smoke bursts around the creature. His image shatters with explosive sparking magic. It happens so fast I barely catch the scent of ash against his fur as I flinch away from the heat of his body.
A stunning green-eyed man is sitting lazily in the window frame where a once terrifying beast loomed.
The bend of his knee is where he languidly rests one of his arms while he judges me with a sharp gaze.
His attention never does dip down to the curves of my body in a way that I’ve become so used to.
The tight dress is to emphasize the Mating Moon. Tonight, Mika and I are to join as one beneath the light of our Goddess. And by morning, my sheer gown will be tight against a blooming belly. By dawn, I’ll be an expecting mother of beautiful pups.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
But it’s wrong for me.
It isn’t my path, and I know it.
It’s so damn distracting that anxious thoughts of marriage are clawing at the back of my mind. Even now in this bizarre moment with this naked man suddenly taking an inventory of my appearance.
And seemingly finding me lacking. Which is just… It’s fucking insulting is what it is.
“You’re her, huh?” he asks with as much enthusiasm as a dog being offered a plate of lettuce.
I don’t like him. I don’t like his fuck you demeanor. That’s my demeanor, and there’s only enough room for one bitch in this conversation. And that’s going to have to be me. I’ve earned that title. Just ask Lazy-Nosed Lisah.
My lips part to tell him off, but apparently my hands are quicker.
With one swift shove, my palms collide with smooth rigid shoulders, and the cockiness is pushed right out of him as he goes tumbling down from his high pedestal.
He lands with a thud and a stream of curses that make a real smile almost touch my lips.
Almost.
“What the fuck!?” He’s back up in no time with a bit of leaf stuck in his short black hair. Dude might be a total barking asshole, but his recovery time is impressive. “The Night Witch said there exists a woman in the Upper Realm more beautiful than heaven and more pained than hell.”
Oh.
That…that does sound like me, doesn’t it?
I hide my surprise a bit too late when I close my gaping mouth and cross my arms.
Only then does his attention slip to the outline of my perfection.
My features steel, and I try to get to the point of his conversation before Nyra comes to get me for the Mating Moon and instead finds me chatting up the most beautiful-nake-man I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“And?” I ask harshly.
What does he want? Is he here to see the Goddess’s work firsthand? The laziest gift that any shifter has ever been given?
What?
“I just…” He shrugs just lightly then before meeting my eyes with that same look of cold carelessness. “I guess I just expected a more impressive woman. I don’t know.”
My jaw drops so fast it high fives the floor, and they both celebrate the first real shock I think I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.
“Excuse the fuck out of me?” My hands hit my hips so hard it hurts, but the outraged sting to my ego hurts more.
Expected a more impressive woman?
Of all the times people sweetly called me pretty, I never thought I’d be demanding it from someone.
And yet, I almost am.
I almost want him to acknowledge all the ways I know I’m beautiful. He should be picking daisies and writing me sonnets right now!
Just tell me I’m fucking pretty!
“You don’t think I’m attractive?” I hold back my irrational anger by an unraveling thread of dwindling politeness.
He takes a good minute to reassess me with a slow rake of his infuriatingly deadened eyes.
I cannot believe I thought his piss green gaze was beautiful.
Calm down. Let him talk. It’s not that bad. Maybe he’s legally blind and honestly can’t see how completely fucking gorgeous I am.
“I’ve seen better,” he finally spits.
That’s it!
My palm snaps across his mouth like he just threatened me.
He basically did!
He threatened my humbleness.
I’m humble, Goddess dammit!
A sharp smile twists his lips, and his thumb drags across his mouth to wipe away the pain I know I just left him with. Still he sneers at me as if I just complimented him rather than attacked him.
“I have an offer to make you, beautiful,” he whispers with a dragging drawl of his low tone.
It’s mocking now. That pet name is a mocking insult, and I want to clock my fist against perfect white teeth for ever saying a word to me.
He’s the rudest fur fucker I’ve ever had to meet.
My teeth are clenched shut so tightly that I can’t even respond to him. A high arch of my eyebrow is as much as I can do.
“You’re interested,” he says casually, and as he leans in, placing his big hand against the window sill between us, my attention slips down the hard lines of his chest. Lean narrow muscle tone gives him a lithe appearance that says he’s quick.
But something in the back of my mind tells me I could take him if I had to. The skills I’ve learned from my father have never been wasted.
I’ll never waste his legacy.
And I know if I keep talking to this asshole shifter, we’ll end up putting those skills to use.
“Come take a walk with me.” There’s a flawless charisma to his words.
It’s like he doesn’t recall being a total dick just three minutes ago. He’s completely forgotten it. Dicknesia has taken over his mind. It thrusted right in, and now he’s just a sweet-talking pussy charmer.
As if my pussy could be so na?ve.
My attention dips for just a fraction of a second and the lines of his hips leads my gaze to jutting length that I didn’t expect.
A heartbeat pulses between my thighs like a reply, and I hate her betrayal in this moment.
I’ve never despised a man so fast.
A smile pulls at my lips as I adjust my arms firmer over my chest. When I tilt in close, he leans in too. There’s a new glint in his eyes. A sexy, knowing look.
Fuck that look too. As a matter of fact, fuck all of his personalities. None of them are worth a second of my time.
Yet, still he’s shifting close to me at the simple thought of me possibly giving in to him. My lips graze his ear. My exhale fans out along his neck just as I finally reply on a seductive whisper.
“No.”
My fingers grip the window, and without warning, I slam it down firmly in place between us. Unfortunately, he’s quick enough to jerk his fingers away before any damage can be done.
Dammit.
His pretty eyes lower. A lazy, careless look of villainy if I’ve ever saw one.
I can’t explain why I don’t make my epic sauntering walk away from him.
I can’t. I’m frozen in place beneath the weight of his now curious features.
He seems torn between begging and screaming for me to listen to him.
It’s a magnetic feeling between us to see him caught in the emotions I’ve felt all day.
His head shakes slowly, and it seems methodical the way he pushes his hands down his bare thighs, takes a deep inhale, and looks back up at me.
“Someday, you’ll regret the choices you didn’t make, Cersia.”
A shiver races across my flesh at the sound of my name spoken so heartbreakingly sad against his lips.
You’ll regret the choices you didn’t make…
What does that mean?
You’ll never know, my beast whispers.
The drums from the festivities of my mating day beat harder, louder. It’s a demanding song that pulses through me.
Unknown panic shoves into my chest so suddenly it steals my breath and consumes my heart. Fear is a painful, stabbing vengeance on my soul.
It’s all I know as I watch him walk away. His lazy steps lead him out to the tree line I first spotted him at. It’s like the moon follows that beautiful, infuriating man as he leaves me.
He leaves me to the fate I didn’t choose.
He leaves me to the life I don’t want.
He just simply leaves me.
But I can’t seem to let him go.
The window is pushed up once more. My feet tangle in my dress as I leap from the room. The sound of fabric tearing rips through the night air. That beautiful mating gown is ruined in the matter of one single reckless second.
And I couldn’t give one fuck less about it as I follow after a new fate.