Chapter 17
Wind howls through the trees as we set off across the manicured grounds surrounding the Clarkes’ home, the torches on our phones lighting the way.
The dense curtain of fog that has threatened to fall for the last few hours has descended fully now, blanketing the area in an eeriness that makes me long for the comfort of the warm fire at home.
Home, the place I should be now that darkness has fallen. But I can’t leave now. Who knows what we might find out here. Who knows if the next few minutes will lead us to Alexa Clarke.
Otis walks ahead, his purposeful pace one I have to jog to keep up with.
‘What’s the plan here?’ I call after him.
‘I don’t know,’ he admits, wiping raindrops from his face.
‘I thought if we retraced Lex’s steps, something might come to us.
’ He stops in the centre of the garden. ‘The problem is, we don’t know what her steps were.
We don’t know where she went. CCTV shows her going into the garden, then we lose her. ’
Otis’s shoulders drop. Barely ten steps from the door and he’s already lost confidence in his search. Wind batters his body, nature’s attack doing little to elevate his spirits.
I step forward, fighting to be heard over the feral cry of the weather. ‘Are you sure there’s no way Alexa could have gone to the front of the house without being seen by CCTV?’
‘That’s right. She’d have gone out here and then… well, then I don’t know.’
I look around the darkened garden. Encased by towering trees, it’s a beautiful spot filled with raised flowerbeds and seating options for outdoor dining.
On a summer’s day, I imagine there aren’t many nicer places to recline with a book.
The problem is, it’s not summer. It’s November, and imagining anyone lounging outside at this time of year is impossible.
‘Is there a way to get out of the garden without using the driveway? Maybe through the woods?’ I ask, pointing to the trees ahead.
‘I mean, you can climb the fence and cut through the trees to the fields, but why would Lex do that when she could use the public footpath?’
‘Maybe she fancied an adventure?’
Those words are enough to send Otis over the fence and into the thick of the wilderness. I follow close behind, clambering over the waist-high horizontal slats and landing clumsily on the other side.
The strip of woodland we trek through is beautiful in a mysterious, other-worldly way, but it’s surprisingly narrow.
When we emerge through it on the other side, we’re confronted by a field of long grass.
Fields that go on forever – that’s what Alexa calls them, according to Otis.
The time of day and the weather make it hard for me to confirm the accuracy of that.
The fog is even thicker here than it was in the garden, the world before me barely visible through the mist.
‘I feel like we’re trespassing,’ I confess, glancing around.
‘Don’t worry, this is public land,’ Otis says. ‘Anyone can walk here.’
Although the words were said to put me at ease, I can see that they spark a worry in Otis that anyone could have been here with his wife. Someone she didn’t know.
Someone who might have hurt her.
‘Lex!’ Otis roars, the boom of his voice lost in the vast nothingness. He powers forward, swatting the long, wet grass to form a path. ‘Lex, where are you?’
The fact that only the weather responds to his call is crushing.
Together, we push on through the field, delving deeper into the grey-veiled world while scouring the grass for clues. With the help of my phone’s torch, I find an empty crisp packet, a child’s lost glove and a squashed plastic bottle. Signs of life, but not signs of Alexa Clarke.
The rain falls heavier, pelting down around us. Each droplet makes a dull pattering sound as it splats against Otis’s raincoat.
‘Lex!’ he shouts, moving faster. The act of searching for his wife rather than waiting for her to return has awoken something animalistic in him. ‘Alexa!’
Hearing Otis scream into the abyss and knowing there is little chance that a response will come to him breaks my heart. I search for something to say before he tears his vocal cords.
‘Tell me about this field,’ I call, pushing grass aside to catch up to him. ‘If she went this way, knowing more about the area might give us an idea of where she could have gone from here.’
Otis gulps then studies his surroundings once more. ‘There’s not much to say. These fields don’t lead anywhere other than to more woodland.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘We walked them all the time when we first moved here. We’d do a loop around the fields then go back to the house. A few times we even…’ Otis looks back at me, suddenly shy.
‘It’s okay, Otis. Two consenting adults having sex outdoors doesn’t make me blush.’
‘Perks of living in the country, eh?’ Otis quips, swallowing the memory. ‘I don’t think the fields mean anything to Lex, though, other than them being somewhere she likes to walk. I told you, she loves nature.’
Standing in the cold and damp, it’s hard to see why anyone would love this place, but then I think of Alexa alone in her house all day, and the freedom of this open space seems more appealing than anything.
‘How did we get here, Janine?’ Otis whispers.
‘Lex goes out every day, yet I have no idea what she does or where she goes.’ I hang my head at his painful admission.
‘I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving her alone. It was… it was easier that way. Easier than arguing. Easier than seeing her in pain.’
So much is said around those words. So much regret, so much anger – all of which Otis aims at himself. I open my mouth to say something comforting, but Otis sets off again before I get the chance.
‘Lex!’ he hollers.
I use the lull in conversation to take in the scenery as far as my torchlight allows me to see. My pace slows as once again I note how isolated it is where Alexa and Otis live. Anything could happen here, but who would be there to witness it?
The question makes me shiver, but then I notice Otis striding further away, so far ahead I almost lose him in the fog.
‘Otis!’ I shout, scurrying after him. ‘Maybe we should go back to the house?’
If he can hear me, he pretends he can’t.
‘I said maybe we should go back?’
Suddenly, Otis stops and faces me. He looks utterly dejected.
I approach slowly, giving Otis the time he needs to feel his pain. Out here is probably the only time he will be able to do so. We both know that as soon as we go back to the house, Gabby will be on hand with forced brightness to stop him giving in to his hurt.
‘This is ridiculous,’ he says. ‘I’m trawling a field in the dark for clues about someone who might or might not have been here days ago. What am I hoping to find, a map telling me where Lex is? Unlikely, so what am I looking for? Grass? Mud? Litter?’
Otis breathes in a ragged breath and prepares himself to speak again, but something on the grass catches his eye. My heart pounds as Otis stares at whatever he has spotted, but then he scoffs.
‘A tennis ball. My wife is missing, and a tennis ball is all I can find.’
Otis bends to retrieve the ball, then spins on his heel and launches it through the air. The neon sphere soars across the field, swallowed by the fog before I can see where it lands.
‘Let’s hope I find Lex before that dog finds its missing ball,’ he mutters.
I continue my approach, slower than before but more concerned. When I reach Otis, I rest my hand on his forearm. ‘Come on. Let’s go back. We’ve seen enough.’
Otis doesn’t argue. He just trails alongside me, taking in fraught gulps of air as he walks away from the hope that somewhere in the grass, there’s a clue about where his wife is.