Chapter 22 #2
The room falls silent. Gabby studies her palms while Otis holds my gaze, letting his disbelief at the accusation shine through.
I also suspect he is watching my reaction, waiting to see if my allegiance has changed thanks to everything that was uncovered last night.
I maintain composure, even though internally I am screaming.
‘I thought you said the police are treating this as a missing persons case?’ I ask. ‘That’s not the same as murder.’
‘Try telling Sonya that. It’s bad enough that my wife is missing, but to have people talk like there’s no hope of finding her and accuse me of being involved? It’s too much.’
‘Otis, no one thinks you’re involved,’ Gabby soothes, but she can’t look me in the eye when she says this.
‘Why did you lie about Alexa hiding money?’ The question leaves my mouth before I can frame it less bluntly.
Both Gabby and Otis stare at me, but Gabby is more shocked by the question than Otis. ‘I’ve been wondering when one of you would ask me that,’ he replies.
‘Otis, it’s your private business. You don’t have to tell us anything,’ Gabby says, but I don’t agree.
Otis accepted our help, yet all the while he kept a big part of the story to himself.
Maybe he doesn’t owe us answers, but an explanation as to why he lied would go a long way to stopping my nerves from chewing a hole in the lining of my stomach when I’m around him.
‘I didn’t say anything because I knew how it looked. It’s easy to hear that Lex has been hiding money and think she’s left me, but I know my wife. She wouldn’t do that.’
‘Lots of people don’t want to admit their marriage is over,’ I say.
Gabby’s eyes widen at my bluntness. Otis, on the other hand, doesn’t react.
‘I am not one of those people,’ he says. ‘I don’t have to be. Lex and me, we’re in this for life.’
‘But Alexa has been hiding money from you. She leaves this house every few months. You said so yourself.’
‘Janine, yesterday when you told me you wanted to help, you said you knew what grief does to a marriage. Can you honestly tell me you don’t have times when you want to walk away from the person you know is hurting as much as you are, even if only for a few days?’
Otis’s analysis of life after child loss is so piercingly accurate it pains me. I know it, I live it. It’s the reason I’m here, in this pretty village, trying to piece my life back together around the ugliness of what’s happened.
Otis studies me before sitting back in his seat. ‘Wow. You really do know.’
Coiling my fingers together, I nod. ‘Before my husband and I moved here, I went out for some milk. I didn’t come home until three a.m. the next day.’
Gabby’s lips part, but Otis remains neutral like he knows exactly how this story goes.
‘I wasn’t doing anything bad. I just walked.
I sat on a bench for a few hours, I think.
It’s all a blur, to be honest, but I remember thinking that if I kept moving, I would be too busy to focus on what I’d lost. So I walked and I walked, but what happened kept catching up with me.
’ I swallow, the pain of admitting the truth closing my throat.
‘Eventually, I went home and saw the search party my husband had arranged. Family, friends, neighbours – you name it, they were looking for me. Kamal had even called the police. Everyone was so worried. They still are. No one seems to understand that I just wanted to walk away for a while. So yes, Otis, I get it, but that doesn’t mean I understand why you lied. ’
Otis sighs. ‘I lied because I knew if you heard about the money, you’d think Lex was running from me. You wanted to help, Janine, and I needed you to trust me. I know it’s hard when you don’t know us, but Lex and I are soulmates, aren’t we, Gabs?’
‘Yes,’ Gabby confirms. The response breaks her heart, not that Otis notices.
‘The only thing I didn’t tell you was that the day before she disappeared, Lex went to the bank and withdrew two thousand pounds in cash,’ he says.
‘She’d withdrawn similar amounts a few times before, too.
It looks strange, I know, but there’s got to be a reason she was taking money other than that she was leaving me. ’
‘You told the police you didn’t know Alexa had withdrawn money until she was gone. Is that true?’
‘I swear I didn’t know before. I never checked Lex’s bank account.
I never felt like I needed to, but once I checked Lex’s statement and saw the withdrawal, I took out all the documents in her office.
I told you Lex is a technophobe, right? Well, she likes to have paper copies of everything.
I went through all her bank statements, insurance documents, every scrap of paper she’s ever kept. They covered the entire dining table.’
My face itches to react as it remembers the papers littering the table when I first came to Otis’s house, but I force it not to.
‘I found nothing other than that Lex has been withdrawing money every few weeks for the last four months,’ Otis continues. ‘There was nothing to indicate why or who that money was going to, but—’
On the table, Otis’s phone vibrates again.
‘For fuck’s sake,’ he snaps. He silences the call, then pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘Sonya’s going to tell the police I’ve got something to do with Lex vanishing, isn’t she?’
‘You don’t know that,’ Gabby says, but her reply lacks any conviction.
‘I do, and so do you. You know what she’s like.’ Otis presses his face into his hands. ‘The detectives said they’d be back today. I know what they’re going to say. What they’re going to insinuate.’
‘But you haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘So? They don’t care about that. They’ve already decided I’m guilty of something.’
‘Otis, you had reasons for handling this the way you did,’ Gabby says, taking his hand. ‘All you need to do is explain that to them.’
‘But they don’t see them as reasons. Besides, you’ve seen this village – who else are they going to suspect? The lady at the post office? My elderly neighbours?’
Gabby doesn’t try to soothe Otis this time. She lets her hair fall in front of her face, only looking up again when Sonya calls once more. Snatching the phone from the table, Gabby leaps to her feet.
‘Sonya, hi,’ she begins, her voice silky smooth and insincere, the same tone she used on me when we first met. I don’t hear what Sonya says or how Gabby responds, because Gabby leaves the room before I can eavesdrop on the conversation.
When she’s gone, Otis deflates. ‘This is madness. How can Lex still not be home?’
‘You’ve said it yourself, Alexa sometimes leaves,’ I say feebly.
‘I know, but this is different. Something in here tells me so,’ Otis says, tapping his chest. ‘I want her back, Janine. I need her. I love her. I love her so much.’
I comfort Otis as he descends into gut-wrenching sobs, but all the while I watch him through new, wary eyes.
After all, loving someone doesn’t mean you don’t hurt them.
Sometimes it’s the people who claim to love us the most who hurt us.
I just pray that Otis hasn’t hurt Alexa in the worst way possible.