Chapter 32
As Sharon leads the police to the front of the hall, I stare at Simon’s pale face, until Sharon clears her throat, pulling my focus.
‘Can I have everyone’s attention please?’ she calls.
The room falls silent, all eyes on Sharon and her new acquaintances. DS Mullins scans his audience coolly, his expression blank. As his attention slides across the room to where I’m standing, I move further behind Annalise, accidentally nudging Lola as I do.
‘Sorry,’ I whisper. She flashes me a smile before looking back to Sharon.
‘The police are here to speak to us about Alexa. As some of you might know, she has been reported missing.’
I can’t be the only one who feels nervous electricity surge through the crowd, because a man in front of me rests his hand on his partner’s shoulder to comfort her.
‘Anyone who joined Families United for the first time tonight and doesn’t know Alexa is free to go. Everyone else, I urge you to stay behind and assist the police with their enquiries. Alexa is our friend, and right now she needs our help.’
A low rumble of conversation spreads out, then everyone looks around the room to watch those who are leaving. Terror takes hold as I realise that means me. The newcomer who stupidly used a fake name, a move so odd that any police officer worth their salt would find it suspicious.
My eyes dart to DS Mullins. I know he finds my presence in Otis’s life strange enough without finding me here, too. Gulping, I follow his gaze. He’s still surveying the crowd, but thankfully he’s looking towards the other side of the room.
‘See you next time,’ I say to Annalise, slipping away before she can respond.
With my head low, I weave through the watchful huddles. I imagine DS Mullins’s sharp eyes following me. It feels like his stare is penetrating my back, but I keep my focus fixed on the exit, never once turning around to see if he’s noticed me.
The door looms closer, freedom in sight, but right as I’m about to reach for the handle, someone on the other side swings it open.
Terrified, I stumble backwards. For one awful moment, I picture DS Rani looking back at me, but relief engulfs me when I come face to face with a uniformed officer instead.
‘Sorry,’ the officer says, holding the door open. Muttering ‘Thank you’, I scurry through it and dash to my car, setting off before there’s another surprise to throw me off.
The entire drive home, my attention is only fifty percent on the road. Another bad slip of judgement considering it’s a rainy night, but all I can focus on is the events of the night. Namely, meeting Simon.
There’s no denying his expression was one of guilt, but guilt over what? A secret friendship? A passionate affair? Being involved in Alexa’s disappearance?
My body convulses at that final thought, my unease made even more sinister when I imagine Annalise’s devastation at learning Simon might be cheating on her.
Pushing my foot on the accelerator, I fight to reach the comfort of home as quickly as I can, but my drive is interrupted when the radio cuts out. Glancing at the dashboard, I see that Gabby is calling.
‘So?’ she asks as soon as I answer. ‘How did it go?’
‘The police were there, Gabby,’ I croak. ‘I thought they were going to see me. I thought they were going to ask what I was doing.’
‘If they did, you could’ve said you just started attending the group. You’ve gone through the same thing Alexa has. It wouldn’t be weird for you to be there.’
‘I guess,’ I reply, choosing to omit the part where I didn’t use my real name.
‘Did you find out who “S” is?’ Gabby asks, drawing me back into the conversation.
‘I think so.’
On the other end of the line, I hear Gabby inhale sharply. ‘Who is it?’
‘I can’t be certain, but there was a man called Simon. When Alexa’s name was mentioned, he acted strangely.’
Gabby’s groan rings out over the car speakers. ‘I knew it. This is going to kill Otis.’
‘Gabby, we don’t know they were having an affair.’
‘Of course we do! We don’t need to see photos of them kissing as proof. The only place Alexa went regularly was that meeting. That’s got to have been where she met “S”.’
My mouth twists. ‘You need more proof than that before going to Otis with this. Simon is married. His wife was at the meeting. She’s really nice, Gabby. You can’t throw an accusation like this out there with no proof.’
‘Fine,’ Gabby says. ‘Tomorrow, Alexa and “S” usually meet. We’ll go to their little café, and we’ll see if Simon walks through the door.’
I blink. ‘You want to confront him?’
‘I want answers, Janine, and right now talking to Simon feels like the only way I’m going to get them. Are you free? Will you come with me?’
My grip tightens around the steering wheel. ‘I don’t know, Gabby. I didn’t even want to go tonight.’
‘But you did, and look how much you’ve learned! Besides, you talked to Simon. He knows you now. If I go to the café, I can’t just start talking to him. Hell, I don’t even know what he looks like! But you do.’
I squirm, unable to ignore Gabby’s logic. ‘Fine,’ I say wearily. ‘But this is the last thing I do for you, okay? I’m serious. This is getting out of control.’
‘Last spy mission, I promise,’ Gabby jokes tightly, but I can’t even muster a smile.
After making plans to meet Gabby tomorrow at Café Marco, I hang up. It’s only when the call ends that I realise Gabby hasn’t told me a single thing about how the police search went.
When I pull into my driveway, I check my phone to see if she’s messaged with an update, but there’s no such message waiting.
There are a bunch of notifications about the search from my writing group, though.
Katherine and Natalya don’t know much about the results of it, but Katherine knows enough detail to have me chilled.
The police were there for over three hours. Franny Henderson said she saw Otis standing in the garden with them. She said he looked guilty as sin. And apparently, people who helped with the search got asked if Alexa had ever mentioned moving back to Denmark. I wonder what that could mean?
And then the most startling message of all, sent from Natalya.
Random question, Janine, but were you with Otis’s friend today? Margie said she saw you but I said that can’t be right, Janine doesn’t know Otis or Alexa? x
My teeth rake over my lower lip, wondering how I could even begin to explain what I was doing with Gabby without admitting to the last few days of secrecy and lies. Sighing, I close the message thread without saying a word and head into the house.
‘I’m home,’ I call out while removing my shoes.
‘In here,’ comes Kamal’s reply. I wander through to the living room, where I find him watching TV while continuing his latest knitting project. A scarf for my Christmas present, although judging by the current length of it, most of my neck will be chilly.
‘Friends again?’ I ask, flopping onto the sofa opposite him. ‘Surely by now you can quote it backwards?’
‘So? Friends is comfort food, only it’s comfort food for the soul,’ Kamal replies, pausing the episode. ‘How was your night?’
‘Wilder than yours, by the looks of things.’
‘Knitting is wild, okay? You’ve not experienced the stress of dropping a stitch to say otherwise,’ Kamal jokes. ‘Everything okay with Beth and the girls?’
‘Everything’s great,’ I reply, reaching for a book to shut down any further questions.
Kamal hovers, wondering if he should try engaging me in conversation again, but then he decides better of it.
As I watch him reach for the remote, I think back to Sharon’s words about grief and how you learn to live around it.
Suddenly, Kamal’s actions are performed in a new light.
Watching repeats of shows he loves because the brain power it would take to absorb something new is being used to process what’s happened to us.
Staying late at work because that’s the only place in his life with certainty and routine.
Leaving me alone rather than pressuring me to see family because he knows I need space.
‘Kamal?’
My husband looks at me, his expression clueless.
‘I love you.’ The ferocity of my words scares me, but I don’t take them back.
From across the room, Kamal’s face breaks into a grin.
‘I love you, too,’ he replies, putting his knitting to one side.
He leans forward, debating whether or not to cross the room and come to me.
I make the decision for him. Standing, I walk to my husband and slot under his arm.
Curled together, we watch Ross and Rachel argue about whether they were on a break until our yawns tell us it’s time for bed.
Before we sleep, I check my phone one last time for a message from Gabby. I don’t find one, but my group chat has been a hive of activity since I last saw it. My eyes widen when I open it and a list of links to articles from various media outlets fills my screen.
I scroll back to the first message, sent by Katherine.
Have you seen that the press has caught wind of what’s happened with Alexa? It’s a small article on a regional news site, but an article, nonetheless.
Attached is a link, one I click so fast my thumb moves in a blur. Woman Missing – Have you seen Alexa Clarke? the headline screams.
Beneath it are two images. One is a photo of Alexa, mid-laugh, seemingly carefree and full of life.
The other is a photo of Alexa and Otis at what looks to be some kind of formal event, judging by their attire.
The image would be lovely if not for the way Otis looks.
Tense, with his hand clamped around Alexa’s waist. Despite her height, Alexa looks tiny beside his bulk, and Otis’s stance borders on possessive.
It could be nothing, a fleeting awkward moment, or it could indicate something sinister.
Biting my lip, I read the article.
Police are appealing to the public for information on the whereabouts of a woman who went missing from her home in the village of Bramblethorpe on Saturday 20 November.
Friends and family are growing increasingly concerned after almost a week without contact from 35-year-old Alexa Clarke. It’s reported that Ms Clarke’s husband believed she had gone away for a few days but contacted police when he was unable to get in touch with his wife.
Well respected in the tech industry, Otis Clarke hasn’t been available for comment, but sources close to the couple say he is frantic with worry.
Alexa’s friend Sonya West described Ms Clarke as, ‘The best person you could ever meet. She sparkles. She would never disappear like this.’ She also hinted that there were problems in the couple’s marriage, although police are yet to verify this claim.
‘What’s wrong?’ Kamal asks as he climbs into bed.
I lower my phone before I can finish the article or process the fact that Sonya’s quote is made of the same words she used when talking to me. The rehearsed nature of her concern makes me ill at ease, and I clam up.
Kamal glances at my screen and frowns. ‘I thought you weren’t involved with the Clarkes anymore?’
‘I’m not, but my writing group sent a link to an article about it.’
‘Well, it’s good that Alexa Clarke’s in the press now. Hopefully if more people know she’s disappeared, then more people can help find her.’
‘I know, but seeing it in the news makes it official. Alexa Clarke is missing.’
When my body slumps, Kamal takes my phone and locks it. ‘It should have been official the day she wasn’t at home. Otis Clarke is going to have to answer a lot of questions about how he could have handled this better, especially now the media is involved.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘Of course. You know how one clickbait headline can whip up a frenzy of online intrigue.’ Kamal studies my drawn features then kisses my hand. ‘Let’s not talk about this now. It’s late, we should sleep.’
‘You’re right,’ I reply, but even when I close my eyes, I can’t rest. All I can think of is Otis and the questions the world will ask when they discover how long it took him to reach out for help.
I can’t help but wonder what questions they would ask if they knew he purposely avoided mentioning his wife’s diary to the police, too. How long would it take for them to label him as guilty after hearing that?
Scarier still, is ‘guilty’ a label Otis Clarke should have been wearing all along?