Chapter 1 #2
The Leif I was bonded to was back. Wholly different from the Leif I’d fallen for during my time in Adis’s keep.
“It’s only a moment of pain, my heart, and I will be so much happier when it is through.
” He used his thumb to brush one of the tears that escaped from my eye, the pad rough against my cheek.
I leaned into his touch automatically, and even that small brush was enough to ease the loneliness in my chest.
This is what he always did—twisted everything he did or said so it sounded like I was the sole reason he was unhappy. It had been easy to tell myself that wasn’t the truth at first, but now it was becoming more and more difficult.
Why couldn’t I just love him like I once had?
Because you know who your weighted is, my subconscious reminded me. And Leif has shown his true colors.
His hand dropped from my face, and I pinched my eyes closed, more tears flowing down my cheeks. I wasn’t even sure I believed in weighted relationships anymore, even as I could feel the dull ache of the thread tugging in my chest.
I couldn’t watch what was about to happen. I wished I could close my ears too.
First, there was the sound of metal scraping on stone, as he picked up the rod from where it lay, one end heated by the flame.
Then, his hand was wrapped around my wrist.
Finally, there was nothing but searing pain.
I couldn’t help it; I screamed.
The second branding hurt so much worse than the first. Probably because the skin there was still unhealed.
The hand circling my wrist dropped, and there was shuffling as Leif moved away. I peeked through the crack in my eyelids only for my heart to clench.
There, through the blur of tears, I could see what he’d done. Leif had pressed his own brand to my skin, the LH now etched messily on top of the AC.
It looked worse than the single brand had. And I knew when it healed, it would be difficult to decipher.
Leif should have allowed me to use my cream.
“See, that wasn’t so bad.” Leif was back by my side now, his finger brushing one of the damp hairs that had fallen in front of my face aside. “Now, I’ve got a meeting, but afterward, we will have a special dinner together, okay?”
I nodded; it was easier to agree. But as he made his way to the door, an idea I’d been considering rushed back to me.
I was done trying to appease him by making myself invisible.
It was time to try a new route. I squared my shoulders, ignoring the burning sensation still dancing in my arm.
I squeezed my upper arm, trying to confuse my nerves. “Leif?”
He paused, turning back. “Yes, my heart?”
I fought to suppress my cringe at what I was about to do. “Can you send Friar in?”
He frowned. “Why would you need to see her? I can provide anything you need.”
I shook my head. Up until this point, I hadn’t wanted to lie to Leif, still trying, and failing, to see the good in him.
But as the inside of my arm burned with a pain that could have been avoided entirely, and I knew would last at least fortnight, the time had come.
No more waiting for Otho to rescue me. It was time to find a way out of Malheim on my own.
“I think . . . I missed my menses.” It wasn’t a full lie, as I’d merely had some light spotting, but I knew it would have the desired emotional effect.
His frown transformed into a smile, and he jogged back over to me, pulling me into another hug I didn’t return. His happiness washed over me, and for a moment I almost forgot how much he had hurt me. “Do you think . . .” he wondered aloud.
“Maybe,” I lied.
“I’ll send Friar right in!” He pressed a kiss to my lips before dashing back to the door. “Finally!” he cheered before closing the door behind him, the lock sliding into place with a click.
I sank down on the soft bed, taking deep breaths to try to minimize the pain. I must’ve disassociated though, because next thing I knew, Friar was sitting down next to me.
I threw my arms around her neck. “I’m so glad to see you.”
She pressed her palms to the back of my shoulder blades. “Are you okay, Runa?”
I nodded. “I wanted to see you sooner but . . .”
She smiled, her eyes glistening. “I know. I tried to see you sooner too, but Leif is . . . difficult.”
I hadn’t considered it, but Friar was likely just as much of a prisoner as I was. “What is he making you do?” I asked, voice trembling. I would never forgive myself if she were suffering because of me.
“Regular healing duties.” She set her hand on my wrist. “Don’t worry about me. Now, tell me, are you feeling nauseous? More tired than normal?”
I shook my head. “I’m not pregnant, Friar.”
Her black eyebrows moved to her hairline. “Huh, but—”
I cut her off. “I needed to see you. I missed my menses—well, I still had light spotting—but I’m sterile, Friar. I can’t get pregnant.”
Her mouth dropped open, her gaze scouring my face. “But—”
“You can’t tell Leif. Please. We can come clean later, but . . . I—” A tear slipped down my cheek. “I need to see someone who isn’t him. Just for a bit.”
Friar was still shaking her head, probably in disbelief at my dishonest antics, but she brought a hand to my cheek all the same. “It’s a great plan, Runa.” She paused, glancing over her shoulder at the door. “Especially because I have a plan to end this.”