Chapter 8
Iset down the book—the reading of it complete. Well, my real reading had been completed earlier that evening, before Leif had returned to our rooms. But I hadn’t had time to experiment what the true power of the book was before he’d waltzed in.
I would figure it out soon, though. As soon as Leif left me alone.
That wasn’t going to happen at the moment, though, as Leif sidled up next to me, running his nose up the column of my neck, his breath tickling my skin.
He’d been hesitant to leave me in the last few days, after I was almost kidnapped in the pre-dawn hours, only allowing me space when I had my daily appointments with Friar.
For the most part, I hadn’t minded not being alone, especially considering I’d barely been able to sleep.
Until now.
“Leif?” I whispered.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered back before pressing his lips to my neck.
I’d dumped the first dose of the love potion in his chalice of wine that evening, adding the other concoction I’d created into my own glass of cider, both of us sipping as I read.
He hadn’t seen me slip the potion into his glass, which was for the better.
I told him mine was for pregnancy, and he hadn’t questioned it.
I’d expected it to work—my potions almost always did—but not this fast.
“I miss you, Runa,” he said into my hair as one of his hands gripped my breast through my nightgown, his teeth gently biting my earlobe.
Despite everything that had happened, the actions sent tingles to the area between my legs.
As much as I wanted to hate Leif, to run off and never see him again, there was something undeniable between us.
A physical attraction and a bond of friendship that refused to be snuffed out no matter the pain he put me through.
He was someone I couldn’t seem to let go of.
And he was still my first love.
Even if that love had died the day he’d forced me to bind with him. I’d just been playing along in the days since—it was easier than refusing him.
His kisses trailed downward, his hand reaching down to pull my nightgown up.
My body ached for some attention. Anything so that I would feel less alone. And I knew he needed to believe that I was also feeling the magic, which he assumed came from the book.
How wrong he was.
I felt arousal, yes, but not because of the book.
His fingers found my folds, brushing gently over their surface, pausing only to lift my nightgown over my head.
Out of habit, my hands reached for the buttons on his shirt, undoing them as he moved his lips from my ear to my nipple, the suction causing me to buck into him.
“You like that?” He hissed, and when his gaze met mine, I could see the way his pupils were blown. I pushed his open shirt off his shoulders, leaving his upper half bare.
The love potion was working.
I knew it didn’t create real love, but it was having its intended effect of heightening arousal.
I closed my eyes, nodding, instead of answering vocally. His fingers alternated between pressing on my clit and creating delicious circles, which had me drawing closer to my orgasm. Though I’d slept with Leif several times since arriving in Malheim, it’d been a while.
My body convulsed as I reached my peak, a moan escaping my lips.
“That’s it.” Leif breathed, switching his attention from one nipple to the other. “Think you can come again for me?”
I nodded, my breathing heavy as he moved up my body, his lips kissing my neck a second time. He straddled me, pausing his kissing so he could undo the laces on his pants, his cock springing free.
I closed my eyes again as he shifted his legs and lined himself up, pushing into me with one smooth motion.
He moaned, pausing. “It feels like you were made for me.” He began to thrust, slowly at first, but his pace increased each time he was fully sheathed.
I fought to stay focused, but the potion I had taken in my cider made it difficult, my thoughts becoming muddled.
Leif shifted, sitting back on his knees as he pulled me into his lap, maintaining our connection.
He knew what he was doing, knew I loved the friction in this position, and it was all I could do to breathe as his hands gripped my hips and moved me up and down on his shaft.
My hands clung to his shoulders, my fingernails digging into his flesh.
“That’s it. That’s my heart.” He breathed as he felt me start to shake, my second orgasm drawing near.
I fell over the edge, lights flashing behind my eyes as Leif continued his motions, finding his release a few moments after mine. Then he held me there, pressed to his chest, as we both caught our breath.
“That book . . . the magic . . .”
I nodded at his assumption, my lust-addled mind already trying to think of how I could trick him into drinking more doses now that the book was done.
“See, Runa? This is why you should listen to me. That book only works on weighted pairs. Now I know for sure that we are weighted.”
Anger flooded my veins, and I bit my tongue, aching to snap that I felt nothing akin to love since reading the book. But I knew that would reveal my whole plan, and it was much too soon for that.
This also proved to me that he didn’t know me at all. Not like I knew him.
I stayed silent as Leif retrieved a towel to clean us both up before pulling me into bed at his side. As I expected, it didn’t take long for his snoring to reach my ears. As soon as they did, I shifted myself out of his embrace.
The room was shrouded in darkness as I tiptoed to the bathroom. I assumed there was still a guard posted outside our door, but I knew I would need light for what I wanted to do.
In the bathroom, I lit the lamp on the carved-out counter, watching as the flame flickered in the mirror.
My eyes still had the gold circle, as did Leif’s, as only one power was needed to activate them.
Over the season, I’d grown used to them looking like this, and I didn’t think I would ever be comfortable without them again.
All that aside, I started by lifting my hand and using my wind power to blow a puff of air at my hair.
While it worked, my hair flapping with the slight breeze, it was more muted than normal.
Which meant the potion I consumed might be working. But it was too soon to celebrate, and that wasn’t the real reason I’d come to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
No, I needed to figure out what power had been in the book I’d pretended to read to Leif.
I spent the rest of the night flicking my hands this way and that, trying to figure out what exactly felt different. But no matter what I tried, nothing changed. The book Leif had me read had no discernible power.
Or if it did, it was so subtle, it wasn’t worth agonizing over.
When I finally returned to bed, the light of dawn peeking through the curtains on our single-bedroom window, I was exhausted and fell right to sleep for the first time in days.
It wasn’t until after I woke to a knock at the door, summoning me to lunch in the formal dining area, that I started to make connections.
People were less suspicious of me. First Derek—the male escort hadn’t been bothered at all by the task he’d accompanied me on, even when we left the keep walls, stopping by a market on the other side for me to purchase some fruit.
Then, when I’d visited Friar again, she said nothing of the missing jar I’d stolen several days before, and handed me more love potion without fuss.
And later, Leif hadn’t deigned to mention the scar-reducing potion, or asked why he’d found me reading a book on Seid history when he’d come to bed.
It all made so much sense. The power I’d gained was trust. Or the lowering of suspicion. Either way, I understood why the book was commonly read in a weighted pair and why Leif would have wanted me to read it to us, even if he didn’t realize its true purpose.
And why he wanted that power, though he hadn’t known the full extent of it.
The next day, I requested a lunch tray be brought to my room, but by the time it arrived, it was all I could do to sit still to pick at it.
I was eager to try my new power. Not only test it, but ensure that it didn’t go both ways—that I wouldn’t be unnaturally trusting of others.
But something told me that wouldn’t be an issue.
I’d barely managed a few bites before I was pulling on a dress and knocking back the second portion of the other potion I’d created.
I ached to write down my trials, as more than just scribbles in the margins of a magic book, but I knew that I needed to keep whatever information I was gathering now to myself. It was too dangerous to share.
Too dangerous for what I was trying to do.
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, my mind floated to the dream I’d had about Otho several days before.
Well, the non-dream dream, according to him.
In the Seid book, I’d found very little about the dream space, as Otho had called it, which gave me an inkling that he was correct when he said it wasn’t necessarily just a Seid thing—rather it was something that anyone could access with the right training.
Combine that with the fact that Otho had no magic, his gray eyes remaining rimless, and I knew I was right even though I couldn’t confirm it.
That wasn’t why I was sitting on the floor, though, attempting to meditate.
Time and time again, Otho had insinuated that weighted pairs could feel one another’s locations, but it was still something I’d yet to experience and the Seid history book mentioned something similar.
Pressing my eyes closed, I rested my hands on my knees, inhaling deeply while clearing my mind.
Based on what Otho had said about meditation bringing one to the dream space, I should be able to find his location as well.
It took far more time than the last time I’d chosen to meditate, and when I finally found that dark spot in my mind, the one with the glowing threads, it all appeared as I had left it.
There was no shining beacon, no map with illuminated locations.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what exactly I’d been expecting to see, but nothing had changed.
I mentally wandered around the area for a few breaths, before giving up and allowing my body to come back to life one joint at a time. It wasn’t until I blinked my eyes opened, forcing away the heaviness that was there that I came to the realization.
I’d met Otho before, the first time I’d meditated.
Which meant the location, as he spoke about it, was already there. I just needed to figure out where to search.
I shook out my shoulders as I stood, heading for the door.
Location or not, I’d given up waiting on a certain general.
I was rescuing myself.