Chapter 14 #3
He lifted his chin, and I could feel the slight thread of shame he tried to hide. “Things are changing for the better in Heimland, Runa. I promise.”
“How so?” I inquired, finally giving in and sinking to a sitting position.
It had been a hard climb, and my legs were too shaky to continue standing, even though I felt more powerful when I did.
Otho watched me before sitting down with his back against the tree, so we were facing each other.
My mind flashed to another place, another time, when we’d sat like this.
“We are reuniting Heimland. There will be no more war. I know it was tough to get here, and everyone suffered losses, including you, but this is for the best, I promise.” His lips pressed into a thin line, but his gaze didn’t meet mine.
I frowned. He did have a point—a united Heimland would definitely be better than a land split into three. “And the Seid?”
“What about them?” His voice lacked strength, and he tipped his head back, closing his eyes. Even as tired as we both were after the days spent hiking the mountain, I still thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on.
Even when I was mad at him.
“Aren’t the covens still tense with one another?” I hadn’t yet figured what about, but I hoped the king would be able to shed some light once we arrived in Shianp.
He shook his head, frowning. “I know nothing about that.”
“But your parents—”
He cut me off. “They never spoke of any coven association.”
I frowned. Otho had never known much about the Seid way of life, so it really shouldn’t surprise me that he didn’t know his parent’s coven. But at the same time, he lacked the curiosity that propelled me forward in my journey to discover who I was.
Otho exhaled loudly and his pain laced through me, “What happened with Leif?”
My lungs emptied and I could barely breathe. Was this the Otho I had fallen in love with asking me as a partner, or a general seeking information? I couldn’t tell. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The words were barely a whisper. “I can’t.”
The forest filled with the sounds of various bugs and critters that I’d grown used to during the past two nights. Though I couldn’t verbalize my twisted feelings about Leif, it was time to broach the subject of what was really bothering me.
“You didn’t come for me.” It was a lame excuse, and Otho probably didn’t need magic to know that my anger at him was fading the longer we spoke.
“I know, Runa. I’m so sorry. I wanted to come for you sooner, I promise. Everything just . . . took longer than I expected.”
“Why didn’t you come for me sooner, though?” I kept it to the point. I didn’t want this morphing into him feeling pity for me, but I had to know.
He blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his hair.
His emotions didn’t flicker, and I knew he must’ve been working to hide them from me.
“I told you in the dream space, Leif was never going to release you on his own. I needed a plan that would both eliminate his ability to come after you while also creating a semblance of peace. Otherwise, we would just be in the same place as before. I didn’t want you to be a spy anymore.
I wanted you to be able to finally live in peace. You deserve that much, Runa.”
I could feel my anger fading as I stood and walked over to Otho, wrapping my arms around him.
He was stunned at first, but then his arms wrapped around me in return.
It was awkward, with him against the tree and me kneeling over him, but the magic the weighted bond created breathed in relief at the contact. I could tell the potion was fading.
“I still don’t agree with what you did.” I left the rest unsaid as my hand brushed aside a strand of his nearly black hair.
“I know,” he breathed into my chest. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
“Nothing,” I said with a sigh. “I need time to . . . process everything. And I need space . . . like I mentioned before.” I didn’t want to tell him that I still didn’t trust him completely—how could I when he paid a general to join his side—but I now knew that, as always, Otho was only trying to do what he thought was right.
But that didn’t automatically make it right.
“Come here,” he pleaded as he moved to stand, even though we were still embracing.
Once he was able to pull me into his chest properly, he tilted my chin to press a chaste kiss to my lips.
Although it was nothing compared to the kiss two seasons ago in Ralheim, it was enough to cause a flicker of warmth to awaken in my chest, like a hearth allowed to burn low—one breath away from being extinguished.
We stood there, embracing, until all sounds faded from the campsite—everyone likely heading to bed, other than those who had been chosen to keep first watch.
I knew I should tell Otho about the book of whispers, about the other books I’d burned, and the poison I was taking, but I couldn’t bring myself to disrupt the feeling of peace I felt as we stood there embracing.
Plus, he had enough to worry about.
There would be time for me to explain what I’d done later.