Chapter 24
Icouldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe.
My vision started to go dark.
The king . . . He couldn’t mean Otho . . . he couldn’t.
Otho wouldn’t have hidden this from me.
He’d promised he wouldn’t lie to me.
There was a mistake. There had to be.
There was a sigh from behind me, then the voice I would know anywhere spoke. “I’m here, Father.”
I tore my gaze over my shoulder, hurt consuming me as I gazed at Otho, his betrayal stabbing me in the gut. I shook my head, the words spilling out, not caring that we were still in the presence of royalty. “You . . . you said your parents . . .”
Otho opened his mouth, then closed it again, his shame brushing me like a prickly weed.
The stabbing sensation in my midsection intensified. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t stay here.
I wouldn’t be made a fool again.
Not caring about anything anymore, not even if I lived or died, I ran from the room, retracing our steps as best as I could through the waterfall of tears. The stone walls became a labyrinth, but I pushed forward, hoping I was making the right choice at each corner.
I fought like a mad woman, trying to remember something—anything, until the smell of the sprigs of lavender reached my nose.
I was headed in the right direction.
“Runa! Wait!” The call came over my shoulder, but I didn’t slow, pushing forward with all my might. I knew Otho was faster than me. My only hope was to exit the palace walls and disappear into the crowd.
“Runa, stop! Please! I can explain!”
The guards in front of me saw me coming, and they began to push the door open. Without thinking, I shoved my palm forward, calling to my wind magic to speed up the process, their eyes widening as the door handles jerked from their grasp, the door slamming open.
I didn’t stop to explain, maintaining my pace through the garden, though I could hear Otho’s heavier footfalls on the stones behind me.
I could see the gate.
I was almost there.
I was almost free.
“Runa, please, wait. Let me just speak!”
A hand encircled my wrist, but I yanked it out of his grip as I had been taught by Askel, shoving through the small portal and into the streets.
I didn’t look back. He didn’t even deserve that.
It was unclear if he’d paused because he thought he’d had me, or because he didn’t want to exit the palace walls, but I didn’t hear him shout again as I melted into the crowd on the streets, thankful they had grown busier during our time in line.
Tears tracked down my face one after another, causing some on the street to stop and stare, but I didn’t care.
A plan forming in my mind, I weaved my way back to the inn, chancing a glance over my shoulder before running up the stairs and into our shared room. My hand shook as I fought the key into the lock, certain that, at any moment, I would be forced to face him.
To face the gaping hole he’d left in my chest.
I locked the door behind me. I had to be quick, before he found me.
I dumped the contents of Otho’s bag, snatching up the pouch of coins that fell out.
He’s the king’s son. He doesn’t need it, I lied to myself as I shoved it into my own pack, along with my spare pair of clothing.
My gaze caught on my sword, the one I’d taken from Malheim, attached to the waterskin, but it would be too complicated to travel with it.
I wished for the knife I’d also stolen that fateful day, but I’d traded it away.
With a dejected sigh, I closed the door, running down the stairs.
The innkeeper’s eyes were wide, questions dancing in her gaze as I tossed the metal key on the counter without explanation.
Then I was back in the dusty street. I didn’t linger in front of the inn, running down several streets before swinging into an unoccupied alley, sliding down into a sitting position against the wall.
My chest felt as if someone had yanked my heart out, and I fought to breathe as the adrenaline faded. I forced myself to close my eyes, steadying my breathing as I searched for the place inside of me where my magic resided.
It took several tries to calm my mind, but eventually, I was able to find it, spotting a new glowing thread that was tied to my other magic and floated off into the darkness.
Like before, shears appeared in my hand as I approached the thread mentally, cutting it away from myself.
The moment it was no longer a part of my magic, the purple color faded, and the thread disintegrated, calming my raging heart.
I didn’t linger there, my eyes snapping open to face the alley wall once more. It was a struggle to climb up from my seated position, a hole in my chest where the bond used to be, and my muscles aching. But I did it.
Facing the street once more, I reviewed what I would need to do. The city was more complicated to navigate on my own, and I knew my time was running out, but just as I was about to give up on what I was searching for, I found it.
The street filled with apothecaries.
I made my way up the steps of the nearest one, pausing at my reflection in the glass. My eyes were red and puffy, my cheeks stained with tears and dust. I looked awful, broken.
But I no longer cared.
Otho had lied to me.
Just like Leif.
I pushed open the door, the sound of a tinkling bell reaching my ears.
“Good morning. How can I help you?” a feminine voice called out before a young woman emerged from a curtained doorway, freezing as she took in my disheveled appearance. “I’ve got just the thing for your eyes dearie, let me see—”
“Don’t bother.” I willed my voice to remain calm to keep the tears at bay. “I need all the belladonna you’ve got.”
She frowned, and I could feel her concern. “Dearie, things will get better. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I promise—”
“I’m not killing myself. Please, I need it for a different purpose.” I gritted my teeth, a back-up plan if she refused to hand it over already formulating in my mind.
She sighed. “I would love to give it to you, but we haven’t carried belladonna in ages.”
“Hemlock then?” I asked. “Anything that is a poison but can be taken in low doses without causing damage?”
She looked me up and down, and I could practically see her piecing everything together in her mind. She glanced toward the door, then back at me. “Seid?”
“Yes,” I exhaled in relief. “Please, I need to dim my magic.”
She turned back toward the shelf, pulling down a single vial.
“I need everything you have, please. I’m going back to Heimland and don’t know when I’ll find another apothecary.” I brushed the back of my hand against my nose, trying to take slow, even breaths, but the tears were building once more.
She held out the one vial toward me, a sad smile on her lips. “This is all the hemlock I have, but the shop next door, she carries belladonna. She’ll let you buy a large amount, too. Just tell her Doris sent you.”
I nodded my thanks, pulling out my stolen coin purse to pay the cost. “Thank you,” I told her honestly as I ducked out of the shop and into the next.
Doris was correct, and the next shop owner allowed me to purchase her entire supply of belladonna. It did take a large portion of the coin I’d pilfered, as she claimed it was hard for her to harvest more, but I didn’t care about the money as it left my fist.
Back on the street, I took in a deep breath, trying to figure out how I would accomplish the next part of my plan without heading back to the street that held all the inns, as Otho would head there at some point, searching for me.
Where would my brother go that wasn’t the inn where he was staying?
He said he was working…but I hadn’t found out where.
Two ideas came to mind, and I decided checking the food street was my best bet. While he was unlikely to give his name there, he did love to eat, and Otho wouldn’t check there for me first.
It was hard to breathe as I tried to reorient myself with the food stalls I had seen the day before, every beat of my pounding heart reminding me I was running out of time to disappear.
When I finally located the food street, after having to ask two different friendly-looking women for directions, I paused, tossing back a small amount of the hemlock before starting my search.
It was bitter on my tongue, and I fought not to cough it back out immediately after swallowing.
I’d adapted to the belladonna, but this was a different flavor.
I chased it down with a few belladonna berries, grimacing as my stomach rolled and I begged it not to reject the poisons.
After all this time, I still didn’t like poisoning myself.
But I couldn’t have Otho feeling my location either.
My gaze scoured the food stalls. Knowing my brother, he would head straight for the meat-on-a-stick options, so I slowed my walk around those carts, my nose twitching at the decadent scent of roasted meat.
Although it was still early, the street was already alive, steam rising from each cart as the merchants prepared their specialties.
While there was more room to maneuver between the carts than there had been the previous afternoon, the market was filling fast.
I walked up and down the street, searching for a head of dark brown hair that matched mine. After a few passes by the same few stands, I decided it was time to ask for help.
“Excuse me, sir.” I cleared my throat, trying to grab the attention of the man working the grill.
He glanced up, his light eyed gaze connecting with mine. “One rabbit skewer?” He held up what was in his hand.
Although I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t want to appear rude and I passed over a coin as I asked my question, “Have you seen a man who looks a lot like me? Same eyes, same hair, but he’s slightly taller? Answers to the name Milo?”
The man scratched his beard, handing me the skewer. I nibbled on the edge, flavor exploding in my mouth. My stomach still wasn’t happy about the double dose of poison, but it didn’t balk either.
“I can’t say that I have but—Hey, Joe!” He called across the way, the man over the grill looking up. “She’s looking for a man who looks like her, I know I’ve seen him around, you see him today?”
The man squinted and I took another bite of my skewer. Though I knew I needed to eat more, it was a challenge to swallow.
“Ah, I think I have! He was just here.” He regarded at the patrons standing in front of his grill, waiting to have their order prepared. “I think he said he was leaving town, ordered extra to go!”
My heart dropped into my stomach. He’d said he had to work today. He’d lied too. Again. My stomach soured, there was no way I’d be able to finish eating now.
I turned back to the man who had prepared the rabbit. “I need to travel to Heimland. Where can I find a ride?”
He pointed to the end of the street. “Horse depot is there. You might also be able to bargain with others offering space in their cart in exchange for coin.”
“A horse is fine,” I lied. “Thank you!” I shouted before jogging down the street.
It was difficult to run with the skewer in one fist and my bag in the other, and though it hurt to waste food, I tossed it down one of the alleys, hoping a hungry animal would at least enjoy it.
I had to find my brother before it was too late.