Chapter 36
Icouldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.
I’d known he was still alive, but that didn’t mean I expected to see him. I was so focused on the way he stood in the cottage, like he wasn’t a phantom in my story, that I failed to notice my cousin standing next to him until she cleared her throat and said my name. “Runa.”
My face heated even as I fought to hide how flustered I was. Collum’s lips were pressed together in a thin, chastising line that I recognized from when I was younger. I glanced back and forth, desperate for Askel to be home, but his quiet presence was absent from the cabin.
“Collum,” I replied at last, having finally regained my bearings. “You know, it’s not polite to let yourself into other people’s homes when they aren’t there. And since when are you working with him?”
“You’re one to talk,” she replied, her eyebrow arched in a challenge, but I felt no malice coming from her. “And Leif and I have recently realized that we have common goals for Malheim. Isn’t that right Leif?”
My former bonded nodded, and my stomach twisted. Something about what she said didn’t ring true. I wasn’t privy to the full story.
“Malheim isn’t yours,” I reminded her, motioning to Leif.
“Alright, ladies.” Leif cut in at last, his voice hoarse. His eyes had been fixed on me since I’d come into the room. “Runa, I’m glad you’re safe.”
Several retorts rose to my lips, but I didn’t allow any of them to pass. “No thanks to you,” I reminded him, the complication of my feelings for Leif becoming a pinch beneath my sternum. I needed to change the topic. “What brings you both here?”
Collum smiled, but I knew immediately it was forced. “Peace offering. I know I didn’t speak very kindly to you when we last spoke, and I wanted to apologize. And come to an agreement.”
Distrust weaved through my body, and I knew I was playing with fire. “So, you’ve decided that all deserve to learn Seid magic?”
Her fake smile faded. “We hoped to come to an agreement,” she reiterated.
“And I’ve already explained that I will not compromise. I will only live in a world where magic is available to everyone who wants to learn. The only thing that will stop me from trying is death.”
A sigh came from Leif, his gaze still burning a hole in the side of my head. “Runa, be reasonable. You cannot teach magic to everyone. Someone will use it overthrow the crown.” His hand lifted in my direction.
“Not if the crown is someone who helps the people,” I corrected him, a smirk on my lips. “I’m tired of this age, Leif—an age where magic is used for suppression. No king will survive in this world and wars will always wage. It’s time to make a change and I intend to do that.”
The hand he’d raised fell back down to his side with a soft thump. “You’ll never succeed; you’ll just get yourself killed. Please, Runa.” His words were a genuine plea, but my heart had hardened.
“Then I’ll die for something I believe in, Leif. Something I’ve never been afraid to do. Care to join me?” I challenged.
Though we were standing feet apart, he still took a step back, as if the rebellion brewing in me was something contagious—something he would accidentally inhale.
“Runa, we had hoped you would see reason.” My cousin sighed, drawing my attention away from my former bonded and back to her.
“And I was hoping you would come to agree with me,” I countered, no longer afraid to express my differing views to my cousin.
“No one will ever agree with you. Your idea is insane.” Her tone of voice was the same one she’d once used to scold me, back when I was a parentless teen spending her time living half a life, and if any doubt still existed in me, it evaporated in an instant.
“Otho already has,” I spat. I hadn’t intended to reveal that tidbit of information to them, but based on how the conversation was going, it wouldn’t matter anyway.
“Don’t make me do this, Runa.” Leif breathed. This time, I didn’t look at him, only hearing shuffling and spotting movements in my peripheral vision.
“Do what? Live outside of your comfort? I’ve been doing that my whole life, Collum. I would think you of all people would be able to adapt.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Weren’t you the one who wanted to read to the servants?”
She shook her head slowly, like a disappointed parent. “That was different. Adis was evil; we had to stop him.”
That one phrase was all it took for everything to become clear to me. All the difficult feelings I’d been having about my cousin—they made sense. “And you don’t believe you could ever become that evil.” It wasn’t a question.
Collum opened her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by a loud thump from near where the door to the bedroom was. I spun in time to watch as Leif kneeled to pick up the stack of books he’d dropped on the floor.
The books I would recognize anywhere.
The purple book was there, along with the black one that whispered. The only one I didn’t see as he swept them into a pile once more was the one gifted to me by my parents. The first books I’d ever read.
I made no move to stop Leif. Not as he restacked the books, hissing when his skin came into contact with the one that whispered, and not as he crossed the floor and tossed them into the fire one by one.
Though he didn’t glance my way as he did it, I could feel the twinge of his shame and pain that accompanied his actions.
He didn’t want to burn the books either.
The room filled with silence when the last book was tossed in, their task complete. I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping they wouldn’t notice what was tucked there.
“That was your compromise?” I asked at last.
“Yes. Now no one can have magic, just as you wanted.”
My tongue jumped, eager to tell her about those in Ralheim we’d already been teaching, but I didn’t want to bring them into this. My cousin obviously wasn’t who I thought she was, and I didn’t know what she would do.
“Otho is going to find the scribe. We will request for more books to be written.” The words hung in the air, sounding much less firm than they had in my head.
Collum shook her head. “The scribe is no longer around. Even if they were, you could look forever and not find them. They only appear to the next scribe to take their place.” Her eyes connected with Leif, where he stood, dusting the ash from his hands.
“I suppose you know where the door is,” I announced rudely, ready for my cousin to take her leave so I could scour the cabin for the black book with the gold lettering—the only thing left from my former life.
Collum shook her head. “Unfortunately, it’s not that easy, Runa. You have to come with us.”
I raised my eyebrows at that, crossing my arms over my chest. “I’d rather not, but thanks for the offer.”
“It wasn’t an offer.” Leif’s gravely voice cut in. “You will come with us and sit on the panel as the Seid matron, and you will no longer speak of this nonsense of everyone learning magic.”
It wasn’t until he finished his long-winded command that I realized what he’d been trying to do.
He’d been trying to use the persuasion power on me.
The power I’d faked reading to him. I debated on going with them, thinking it might be easier to undermine them while also gathering the knowledge of Malheim, but then my mind flashed to Askel, Otho, and all of Ralheim that respected and relied on me.
And I remembered that I respected myself.
I was no longer Leif’s to control, no matter what the scar on my palm indicated.
And I was tired of lying.
“I didn’t read you the persuasion book, Leif,” I confessed. “And I refuse to leave with you. Now, get out of my home.”
“Runa,” Collum pleaded, “don’t make us do this.”
I didn’t wait to find out what she meant by “this.” Instead I did the only thing I could think to do—the only thing they wouldn’t expect.
The only thing I ever did when faced with something I didn’t know how to handle.
I ran.