Chapter 16
Ashadow stood over Imani’s body and, while she couldn’t open her eyes, she knew who it belonged to as she breathed him in.
“What the fuck is wrong with her?” His voice was filled with a quiet malice that promised violence if anyone dared placate him.
“You know what’s wrong with her,” Zadie chided him.
Silence fell again. Imani didn’t even hear him move across the room. She groaned in pain and agony, her cheeks wet with tears. With a gasp, she felt Kiran’s warm hand move up and down her chest.
Some sort of soothing magic washed over her. His healing magic? It wouldn’t work on her this time. Not with this problem.
Tilting her head up, she stared at Kiran. Imani thought she might throw up again but held it together as she looked at his beautiful face.
While he still managed to look handsome, he did not look well. Dark circles sat under his eyes, and his skin was more sallow than its typical pale color. Exhausted, his hair was disheveled, and a thicker layer of stubble covered his face.
To Imani’s horror, she whimpered when he stopped rubbing her chest. Her eyes fluttered shut again. “No, please don’t stop,” she breathed. It felt like fire was in her lungs and blood.
“I won’t … I won’t,” he murmured, starting his slow ministrations again.
She felt him move to touch her chest again and press his hand against hers. But not even his healing powers could numb the pain. She fisted his shirt when he tried to turn around.
Beyond feeling any embarrassment, she writhed in his arms, not wanting him to leave her but unable to speak. All she wanted was the pain to stop.
She remembered one of her grandmother’s key lessons: Do what is necessary, even when the choice is hard.
Esa’s voice cut through her thoughts. “How can you be such an asshole to demand—no order—me when this was always an option?” she hissed.
The pain radiated through Imani again as Kiran moved his hand away, but they kept talking in hushed whispers, and she gritted her teeth at the pain.
“I thought we had an agreement,” he argued back. “I trust you; I don’t trust her.”
“I refuse to be a meal for you when you have a perfectly good one who can offer reciprocity. You’re asking too much this time.”
Her. They were talking about Imani feeding Kiran. The idea was so appealing she almost fell to her knees to beg him. Feeding from Kiran would be perfection, and she so badly needed a respite from this pain.
However much she wanted it, though, it was a bad idea.
“No,” she rasped, barely able to speak.
No one acknowledged her.
Imani fisted her hands in frustration and tried to sit up, but strong hands pushed her back down. She lolled her head to the side, stuck lying on the cot without a say in this conversation.
Zadie spoke next. “We are running out of short-term options until you’re back with your brother and cousin.
Esa refuses to help when Imani needs this just as much as you.
This could get messy if you force the pix, and you know I’m not strong enough anymore for you …
or her most likely,” Zadie said bluntly.
Kiran hasn’t been feeding?
Imani was shocked by Zadie’s words, but when she darted her eyes at the witch, Zadie was staring Kiran down with nothing but truth in her gaze.
“Whores will be fine. I will find a memory spell that works better than the others. I just need more time.”
Memory spells were tricky. It was an alteration skill Imani hadn’t even attempted. It seemed that even powerful, experienced witches like Kiran had problems with them.
“We don’t have more time … Maybe for you, but not for her. This is a good short-term solution for everyone.”
“No, no, no,” Imani moaned, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes slitted and looking up at the prince’s face. That would be a dangerous line she couldn’t cross.
Growling, Kiran moved his hands up and down her chest again. Slow, methodical. She quieted, feeling a calmness spread through her limbs.
He made sure she understood what he was doing as he moved closer and was carefully touching her again, so carefully. Trust me, his eyes said. Imani was so lost to the pain she could almost hear his thoughts.
Trust me.
She did, and easily slipped back into darkness for a moment. Imani didn’t like thinking of Kiran seeing her unconscious, but the healing power was too much. Imani felt the ache in her chest ease the longer Kiran touched her with his magic.
Kiran might not be her captor in the traditional sense, but he wasn’t her safeguard, either.
Not her partner. Yet, when he looked at Imani, she felt the same pull of desire she’d encountered during the root-binding spell, then again in the throne room when he’d decided to lie for her. It was the desire to act, to protect.
Protect his assets, she thought bitterly.
But could she really do this? Feed from Kiran and let him do the same?
I have no choice. She hated her breed most days, but today was particularly humiliating.
Kiran’s voice dropped lower. “Imani has secrets. She’s loyal to her own kingdom, and she is powerful. Without a foolproof memory spell, how can we be sure the same violation won’t happen?”
“With another binding,” Esa replied.
Letting out a string of curse words was all Kiran did. Imani had seen his body—he had enough bindings.
“This is a good option,” Zadie insisted. “With the binding, she can’t do or say anything, and when it’s over, we’ll wipe her memory of it with the new spell.”
Imani shot upright, fighting back Kiran’s fierce grip and blinking. Light from the fire danced across the wall, mixing with her own shadows, which were now out to play, flittering outside her body at will. But she wasn’t thinking about the shadows.
She was looking at the prince. And Zadie.
A burst of strength shot through her. “No one is touching my memory. I would rather die than have anyone wipe my memories.”
Imani was absolutely serious. Memory spells could go horribly wrong. Kiran could purposely wipe other memories. Those spells were highly regulated in Essenheim. She couldn’t imagine what she might become by giving him that much power over her.
Kiran slid Imani a dark gaze, lip hitched in what amounted to an elven sneer. “You will die if you don’t agree. Don’t you understand?”
“Understand this,” Imani snapped and gave him her middle finger. “I’m not doing it.”
Kiran let out a crazed laugh at her gesture then dragged his hands through his hair.
She would have paid good coin to be able to read his mind at that moment.
It seemed to be working in overdrive as he glanced quickly between the three women.
With tighter and tighter limbs, his agitation grew, as if the choice was physically backing him into a corner.
Finally, he rounded on Imani. “I refuse to let my mind be violated again. Agree to the memory spell,” he all but shouted at her.
“No.” Imani’s eyes were as hard as diamonds and her voice as sharp. She had the strength of fury running through her now. “I choose death.”
In one motion, Kiran ripped her traveling dress down the front, causing her breasts to spill out of her ripped undergarments. Red veins ran across her chest to her heart.
“You see this? The root binding is coming for your heart.”
Rage bubbled up in her throat, and she let out a scream while trying to cover herself. Despite her weakness, she found the strength to grab a piece of cutlery on the side table and point it at him.
Imani wanted to kill him. Truly end him for pushing her on this when the solution to stopping the root-binding ramification was easy.
One day, she would make this man pay for every drop of mortification she’d felt in his presence.
But, even if she had the choice, she could at least see the wisdom of keeping him alive for now.
“Your mind is open to violation, as well, Imani. And just as Kiran said, we know you have dangerous secrets,” Esa said.
“I didn’t realize things inside my mind were such an issue. I’ve only ever fed from two people before,” Imani whispered.
“So innocent … inner mind exposure is the problem every elf faces outside of their home territory or away from people they can trust,” Kiran snarled.
“Why not have Zadie help you then?” Imani shot back.
Zadie marched across the room and grabbed Imani by the throat. “Who do you think has been helping him these past few weeks? But I’m old—far older than you know—and I am not enough to sustain him much anymore. Or sustain you, either.”
“How about his mate? Isn’t that what she’s there for?”
“She’s the whole reason we’re in this mess. She learned some things she shouldn’t have,” Zadie said. Then the nymph let her go.
Imani fell back against the wall, coughing, nearly passing out from the stress.
She still managed to feel a surge of jealousy thinking about Kiran feeding with Esa and Ayla.
The emotions racing through her at the thought of them together made her clothes feel tight, and she tugged at the bodice of her dress.
Everyone watched her. Imani felt a pang of sympathy for Kiran. For an elf to be so alone without anyone he could trust … well, she understood that completely.
“I’ll agree to the binding,” Imani replied quietly. “And in it, we’ll specifically state there will be no memory spell.”
Disgust slid over Imani as she worried she was being selfish or weak by giving in. But she shook it off, wringing her fingers together. She absolutely had to feed, so she tried to remind herself that a bargain with the prince would actually make her strong.
Kiran stood, slammed his fist on the desk, then started pacing, but he didn’t disagree.
Zadie ignored him and nodded. “Fine. That will have to be enough. Let’s get started.”
Esa let Imani feed from her for a short while before the binding. “This is a one-time thing,” the pixie snapped as she lay down next to Imani.
Imani didn’t reply; she simply shut her eyes and reached out, taking as little as possible. It renewed some of her strength and brought her back from the edge of death. But Imani was still weak.
This binding was different from her other ones. It wasn’t a root binding, and it hadn’t been done with flesh magic. But it was still brutal in her weakened state.
By the time Zadie finished, it was in the darkest hours of the morning.
Imani could hardly stand. The symbol covered both her and Kiran’s forearms in brands entwined with poppy flowers.
She had no idea what this meant, but Kiran was still covered in bindings.
They covered every inch of skin and ran up and down his arms and onto his chest like tattoos.
Within minutes of finishing, Imani fell asleep in Zadie’s tent. At dawn, harsh murmurs cut through her dreamless slumber.
“How can you be so foolish?” Zadie hissed.
“I’m to save her but watch her suffer? How could you ask me to do that? No one could.”
“To protect what we are fighting for, I will always ask you to do that. I can’t believe I have to even say that to you. Leave. I’ll finish this.” Zadie hustled about the room then continued, “Show some restraint. You should’ve done nothing. We agreed to keep this hidden.”
“See? Feeding together is dangerous,” Kiran said, barely above a whisper. He let out a deep breath. “But I can’t think of any other way at this point. I didn’t anticipate this feeding issue as a possibility, and I can’t afford any more similar mistakes.”
The nymph sighed. “If these acts are the only two you complete, and you show a modicum of self-control, then any additional bonding should still be blocked.”
“Esa was a better choice. We should have found a way to force her hand,” Kiran muttered then sighed. “You have no idea what it’s like … how impossible my instincts are around her. The pull is … it’s strong. I can’t fight it sometimes.”
“Once you’re mated and we’ve perfected the memory spell, Imani won’t be a problem anymore,” Zadie said quietly.
“I know,” Kiran agreed.
There was a lull in the conversation, and Imani wondered if they’d ended it.
Zadie’s voice cut through the silence.
“Esa knows.” She sounded like ice.
“She doesn’t. She suspects, but she doesn’t know.”
“It’s because she suspects that she was able to force your hand. You have a secret too big for her to find out. Too many secrets.” A pause. “You need to be careful around her. We both know she’s got her own agenda.”
“I’m well aware of our little pixie’s plans,” Kiran said.
“Speaking of other agendas, have you heard from your father?”
“Yes, two days ago, about my brother. He suspects Respen is gathering more than just elves and is with the sirens now near the coast. We’ll go there next after the Drow.”
“Excellent.”
Kiran sighed. “He asked about Imani again, as well. Asked about her magic and how the training is going, demanded she formally join the court when we return. He has plans for her.”
“He’s not letting this go like we wanted, Kiran,” Zadie stated. “If she joins the court, you know what that means. Unlike Ayla, Imani is a high-bred Norn and does have interesting magic, quite a bit of it actually … I think he plans to keep her for himself.”
“You don’t think I’m aware of that?” Kiran ground out through his teeth.
“I worry about it every day. It would … would be disastrous for many reasons. I made a mistake not glamouring her entirely with flesh magic. The echo shield didn’t work like I expected with Magnus and the damn throne. They’re both too powerful.”
If Imani could move her body without pain, her mouth would have gaped at the sound of Kiran admitting a mistake. But what could be so horrendous about her joining the court? She’d been a part of Essenheim’s court. In fact, it was quite standard for many master witches.
But there were many things she didn’t understand about the Niflheim Kingdom.
Zadie cleared her throat. “Even more reason to keep our feeding discreet. Ayla can’t know about the memory spell you’re working on, and she won’t take the news you aren’t actually feeding from me well.”
“Agreed. We’ll stick to the middle of the night. Dalliances are one thing, and expected, but I can’t have anyone knowing that I’m doing it with her.”
“I agree. The elf prince can’t be ensnared by two elves. People will talk, it will undermine the cause, and we can’t have that right now.”
“I’m not ensnared,” he growled.
“It only matters what things look like, not what’s true.”
Their conversation lapsed into politics and the uprisings around the kingdom fueled by Kiran’s traitorous brother Respen.
Imani tugged the furs over her head, dreading the next night and trying to understand what she’d just heard.