Chapter 38 #2
“Are you insane?!” I screeched, my eyes still locked on the brown bags holding my delicious smelling desserts.
Alaric braced both of his hands against my cheeks, pulling my attention back to him.
“I want you to listen to me very carefully. Can you listen for once in your life?” he challenged, arching a brow at me.
I pouted at him. “Since you bought me pastries, I suppose.”
He rolled his eyes but gave me a soft smile. “You are the strongest woman I know, but I am not going to sugar coat the truth to you, Seera. You have made terrible decisions as the Serpent Queen, but every person in power has at one point or another.”
“Have you?” I challenged.
He scoffed, shaking his head at me. “Remember when I told you I lost Isa before meeting you?”
A twinge of something stirred in my gut at the reminder of the girl Alaric loved—
No. It couldn’t be.
I most definitely was not feeling jealousy right now.
I nodded, not trusting myself to say something incriminating, demonstrating exactly how jealous I really was in this moment.
Alaric took a moment before sharing whatever was at the tip of his tongue, his hands dropping from my cheeks to drag down the length of my arms until they softly latched onto my hands.
“When Isa died, I became a king people feared. I hunted down every single person that was at the battle on the night that claimed her life, even if they never touched a hair on her head. I told myself I was searching for answers about what truly happened to her that night, but really, I wanted to destroy all the realms for taking the one person from me that made me feel something. The one person that was an example of everything that was right in the realms. It made no sense she was the one cruelly ripped from this existence.”
His fingers started to tremble in mine, so I gave them a reassuring squeeze. The gesture must have grounded him, for he stopped shaking and pressed on.
“I tortured countless people in the depths of my caves, wishing with each slice of their skin that it would bring her back to me. That it would make me feel something, anything, besides the roiling despair I lived in every day since she was killed.”
His chest was heaving by the time he was done recounting his dark past, and I wasn’t sure if I was even breathing after hearing this part of the Serpent King’s story for the first time.
“Alaric, I—I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” The words felt pathetic, like they were not enough after all he shared, but they held a lot more meaning than he knew.
Before last week, I’d never once said sorry during my time as the Serpent Queen.
He raised our clasped hands to rest against his chest, dipping his head to bring our gazes leveled.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m sharing this part of my life to help you see that you are not the only one who has made decisions they deeply regret.
When I finally sliced open the throat of the last person alive from the night of that battle, I was left with nothing but my guilt and despair to wrestle with for decades.
All of the bloodshed . . . it didn’t bring her back.
” His voice broke, and he squeezed his eyes shut.
I allowed him as much time as he needed to process the horrors of his past.
After a few moments, his eyes fluttered open.
“Your reign does not have to be one of terror, and your past does not define you, Seera. What matters in the end is how you right your wrongs, and the fact you care to consider doing so says a great deal about you.” He squeezed my hands.
“It is not your fault you revel in torture, in the pain of it all. If you want someone to blame, then blame me.”
I was so lost in his words that I was only now realizing the noises from the night market had faded, sounding muffled as if I was underwater. All I could hear was Alaric’s pleading.
“Blame me, Seera, for I am the one who demanded your soul. I know damn well you wouldn’t have done half of the things you’ve done as the Serpent Queen if you had your soul. So, condemn me. Let me shoulder the burdens I’ve placed upon you,” he begged, something peculiar stirring in his eyes.
I sniffed the air, nearly choking when a plume of smoke raced down my throat and into my lungs.
“You regret taking my soul?”
His eyes turned as sharp as a steel blade. “Every. Single. Day. Without a break in my miserable existence.”
I had no idea Alaric felt this way, because he seemed delighted the night of our bargain as he claimed my soul, like it would be his most treasured possession.
Rendered utterly speechless, all I could do was break free of his crushing grip and dip behind him to snatch one of the pastry bags.
I plunged my hand into the sack, grabbing a chocolate chip croissant to offer to the male staring at me quizzically. His eyes dropped to the pastry, hesitantly grabbing it as he glanced back at me.
“A peace offering,” I said, a gentle smile gracing my lips.
He laughed, his soft wheezy hiss wrapping around us like the delicate whip of the wind.
“A peace offering I paid for.” He snatched the croissant, nonetheless.
“Semantics.” I shrugged, latching his arm back in mine as I dipped to grab more of the bags.
We continued on through the market, and, much to my surprise, no one was looking at us—even after our intimate discussion.
“I enveloped us in my magic,” he said, doing that peculiar thing again where it felt as if he was reading my thoughts.
“So they didn’t hear a word of our conversation?”
“Nope.” He ripped the flaky pastry between his teeth, taking a rather large bite. “Nor did they see us,” he said with his mouth full.
I gasped. “My, oh my, Serpent King—where are your manners?”
He finished off the rest of the dessert, sucking his fingers to catch any remaining crumbs lingering on the tips. I tracked the way his tongue swirled across the pads of his slender fingers, each flick stirring a kindling of heat low in my belly.
“Tonight, fuck having manners. It’s fun being bad, wouldn’t you agree, my Queen?” he said, right before sucking his thumb clean all the while looking at me through lowered lashes.
Damn the gods.
I was in trouble.