Chapter 40
Replaced
“Dear gods!” Alaric stepped away as I continued to wretch the entirety of the delicious pastries and beverages I had consumed. After another horrifying minute, my fit ended, leaving me gasping with my hands on my knees.
When I glanced up, Alaric was gone.
Of course he fled—I just threw up all over his fashionable shoes. He probably sprinted away in disgust and was buying a new pair right this instant.
My head drooped as humiliation finally burned brightly inside my chest.
“Here.” I jumped upon hearing the king’s resonant voice beside me.
He was extending a black handkerchief to me, and I accepted it, swiping my lips with the soft cotton material. My gaze dipped to my puke still lingering on his footwear.
“You didn’t leave?” Disbelief laced my three simple words.
His brows tugged inward as he placed a hand to my back, drawing soft circles upon it with the pads of his fingertips. “Why would I leave you?”
“Because I threw up all over your shoes. I thought you went to clean yourself off and get a new pair.”
He shook his head at me like I said an amusing joke. “Seera, this isn’t your first time puking all over my nicest shoes, and I doubt it will be the last.”
I laughed into the handkerchief, startled by the king’s kindness.
Giving him a sideways glance, I balled the tissue into my hand. “I’m going to hold onto this, just in case.”
He pursed his lips, the corners twitching into a smile. “Good idea.”
The romantic music ceased, signaling the quartet was taking a break.
“Ah, there you are!” a feminine voice sang, and I didn’t need to turn to see who the annoyingly sweet voice belonged to.
I hated I had no mirror to ensure I cleaned all the puke from my face or to hastily reapply my smudged lipstick.
“May I?” Alaric asked, as he watched me fiddle with my hair and fuss over myself.
Feeling oddly timid, I dipped my chin, allowing him to step closer to assist me. Gently, he swiped his thumb along the bottom of my lip. He was cleaning me up exactly how I would, and surprise warmed my chest at the tender way his fingers brushed over my skin.
“Perfect,” he whispered, his thumb lingering on my lip.
My lips parted as I stared at him, his eyes holding the same tenderness his touch did.
He was giving me that look again, but this time his gaze made me feel like I was the most precious thing in all the realms.
“What have you two been up to?” Adalina squawked in an obnoxiously loud tone as she finally drifted to our sides.
Alaric’s fingers dropped from my lips, disappointment passing through me at how I instantly missed his touch.
“I was showing Seera around the night market. We had a lovely dance together.” The king smiled at me, our dirty little secret still hanging in the air.
It was rather charming how he left out the small detail of me puking all over his shoes, which somehow looked sparkling clean as I glanced at the king’s footwear.
“Hmm, I see. How did you like the night market, Serpent Queen? Is everything to your standards?” Adalina’s eyes sliced to mine, her tone changing when she addressed me. A hint of frost laced her words, and I once more detected something deeper behind her lighthearted facade.
“It’s breathtaking.” I didn’t have to force out a lie as my gaze drifted over the colorful fireflies flying above.
I was stunned to hear Alaric reply, not Adalina. “It is, isn’t it?”
When I looked at him, I thought he would be marveling at the night market around us like I was . . . I did not anticipate his gaze to be locked onto me.
My cheeks burned from his intense attention, from his comment, from all the ways he made me feel incredibly special tonight.
Yet, for the second time this evening, Adalina’s hum shattered our moment. I glanced toward her, only to see the god examining Alaric and I through darkened eyes.
Someone cleared their throat, and then my bodyguard came into view as he shuffled out from behind Adalina.
“Landon.” My voice was a mixture between delight and sorrow.
“Seera.” He stepped beside Adalina, barely granting me a small nod.
Music streamed around us once again, letting us know the quartet resumed their playing. The tempo wasn’t as slow and sensual as their prior song, but it wasn’t a very upbeat tune either—even the music matched my conflicted feelings.
“Care for a dance?” Landon offered me his hand.
I’m not sure why my initial reaction to his question was to glance at Alaric. It wasn’t like I needed his permission to dance with my bodyguard, so why was I suddenly seeking his reassurance that he wouldn’t be upset by me accepting Landon’s hand?
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Alaric dipped his chin, encouraging me to go enjoy myself. He extended his hand to Adalina at the same time I planted mine in Landon’s, and we all swept back onto the dance floor.
“Are you having a nice evening?” my bodyguard asked, placing his hand on my upper back, notably at a much more respectable spot than how Alaric handled me earlier.
“Surprisingly, I am. Are you?” I glanced up and into his icy eyes.
“I am enjoying the Emerald Glades, far more than I expected to.” His gaze trailed away from mine, and I followed his line of sight as it pierced into the goddess swaying in Alaric’s arms.
I shook my head, not quite believing how much could change in the matter of only a few days. It felt like an eternity since we sparred in the Emerald Glades training yard, yet it was only earlier this afternoon.
“Is there a particular aspect about this realm that you are so fond of?” My words came out sharper than I intended, which made his gaze snap to mine.
His brows knitted while he stepped away and spun me around. When we moved back together, he was staring down at me in disbelief.
“Are you truly upset that I've grown fond of someone besides you?”
Ouch.
I gaped at him against my better judgement. “How can you grow that fond of someone you’ve only known for a day?” I bitterly whispered.
“The same way you can easily replace me within the same amount of time,” he huffed, his shoulders growing tenser by the seconds.
“Replace you? What are you prattling on about now, Landon?”
“The Serpent King.” He cocked his head to the left toward the male in question.
“I see the way you look at him, Seera, and you never once looked at me like that in all the years I’ve served you.
” He spat the words, like they were coated in venom, and it felt that way as they sunk straight into my heart.
I couldn’t make sense of Landon’s irrational behavior, so I discreetly sniffed the air. An overly sweet, fruity smell danced along my tastebuds, and my nose crinkled at how potent my bodyguard’s jealousy tasted.
“Is this all just a game then? Are you trying to get underneath my skin by chasing after a god, the very beings I banned worship of in our realm?” My grip on his hand tightened, my anger slowly awakening from its short lived slumber.
“It’s not a game, Seera. Adalina appreciates me for who I am, and she doesn’t try to turn me into something I’m not. She doesn’t try to turn me into a monster.” The look he tossed me was so full of disdain that it prevented my feet from poorly shuffling to the music any longer.
I stepped away from my bodyguard in a complete state of shock, looking at him like I would at a total stranger. The man who was always by my side, who was ever-loyal and there when I needed him, couldn’t feel further away from me at this moment.
It was almost like we were standing on a frozen lake and a huge fissure burst through the ice, completely separating us.
Landon thought I was trying to turn him into a monster . . . and he was right.
After all, I did make him do terrible things.
Who was I kidding trying to pretend to be anything other than what I was?
I was a monster.
The demons of my past pressed on my chest, a heavy weight forcing my feet to drag backward.
“Seera, wait.” A glassy look passed over my bodyguard’s eyes, making me wonder if his inebriation was the reason he finally had the courage to speak his truth.
I held my hand up, and he paused his advance toward me.
“No, you’ve said enough.” I backed away, curling my quaking hand into the silk material of my gown.
I had to get out of here before I completely broke down before the entire crowd, and worse, in front of Adalina.
I bunched my dress in my hand, and did what I always did best—I ran from my problems, sprinting down the pathway Alaric and I joyously walked along before everything went to ruin.
Who was I kidding?
This life of enjoyment, of dancing, of desire, of hope was not for the likes of me.
The likes of someone who was a monster.
“Seera!” someone shouted, but I didn’t stop.
Hot tears streamed down my face as I raced into the jungle.
I sprinted into the darkness, running straight into the sanctuary of my oldest friend’s arms.