40. Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Steam curled around me in the bath, clinging as if it meant to drown me with my own thoughts.
Caelith…the god who welcomed me into the Fae realm was really Eisarnach, God of Chaos.
I couldn't get the image out of my head—him strutting into the war room like a storm wrapped in expensive looking silk.
And then there was the Fates. Always yanking me toward another purpose.
Training, sparring, councils. At least they seemed to be leading me in a direction I wanted to go for once.
I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, I would take hand-to-hand combat over Brannach's scowling face and the rites any day of the week.
My mind drifted to Tairngire, and the way he looked at me tonight…the way that he stared Ciaran down for standing up to defend me. That hadn't been the first time the Forest God had seemed to get jealous…and I couldn't deny the fact that the thought thrilled some deranged part of me.
I scrubbed oils into my skin until it burned before exiting the tub. I quickly slid into my nightdress, made my way to the far too large bed, and sank beneath the covers. Exhaustion enveloped me like an old friend, but sleep didn’t come.
Mist swirled around me, a whisper of glitter across the sheets, and then Tairngire was there.
In my bed. Uninvited.
Again.
No leathers, no hood. Just those damned velvet trousers clinging like shadows and that insufferable curve of his mouth.
“You—” I let out a humorless huff. “Godsdamnit, do you ever knock?”
He stretched out on his side, holding a fist to his temple. “And deprive myself of this sight? Never.”
I swore under my breath. Wretched Fates. Words rose in my throat to toss him out, but his free hand moved first, unhurried. He caught a few strands of my hair and let them slip through his fingers like he was memorizing the softness. The gentle touch stole my breath.
“You surprised them,” he murmured at last, his eyes half-lidded. “All that fire you hid behind temple walls—finally useful. They never expected it, really. But I did.”
I stilled, my throat tight. His tone was almost…reverent.
I didn't want to think about all the ways that made me feel, so I did what I did best and deflected. “My duties,” I rasped. “I haven’t attended a soul bonding rite in weeks. You claimed you had it handled, but Brannach, the Priestess, they’re going to lose their minds once I return. They—”
His eyes burned into mine as he let the strands of hair fall gently from his fingers, then cut me off with an exasperated sigh. “You never needed to oversee those rites, Little Seer. Fate spins either way, and your wardens have always known it.”
What?
My heart slammed against my ribs. “What…what are you saying?”
“That’s simply what they wanted you to believe.” His voice turned hard, almost a growl. “To keep you bound to their agenda. To make you believe your worth was in temples and chains. But your Sight was never theirs to command.”
The room spun. Every truth I’d ever known threatened to collapse. Every cruel vision they subjected me to, every cursed Fate I was forced to live through. For nothing? No. It couldn’t be. I shot upright, shaking. “No. No. You don’t get to undo me with a few words. You're lying—"
“Breathe,” he said, the calm to my storm. “Feel it. Don’t choke on it.”
My vision blurred red. “Don’t tell me to fucking breathe after revealing something like that!”
And then he chuckled.
Actually chuckled.
With a growl under my breath I lunged, attempting a strike, but he caught me and dragged me down onto his chest as though I weighed nothing. The world tilted, fury flowing through my veins until my vision blurred.
“Easy, Little Seer,” he murmured, his voice threading through the storm like calm rain. “The fire isn’t your enemy. Not if you let it burn the right way. You cannot change the past, what’s done is done. And you’re here now, breathing, are you not?”
His words sank somewhere deep. My body stilled against his, breath shuddering, rage fading into silence. I finally met his eyes—glowing and burning with untamed emotion.
He was right—because of him. I had the chance to fight, to breathe without my wardens forcing me into visions that consumed me.
His gaze seared into mine. “Gods, the flame in you. It's remarkable.”
The room froze. I froze. Whatever was happening with him wasn’t born from mortal tenderness, but it also wasn't divine indifference. It was something hotter, more perilous.
My fury ebbed, replaced with a steadier warmth.
My face was nearly pressed to his chest, and I breathed him in.
Pine, wild forest, storm air. His scent rooted me deeper than my anger ever had, in a way that felt far too familiar, intimate.
Like we’d done this many times before, even though it was impossible… wasn’t it?
His hand slid low along my back, pulling me closer until he invaded all my senses. I let myself lean into his embrace…until I remembered how angry I was with him.
He’d kissed me.
That was never supposed to happen. Then he left me with weeks of silence, like it hadn’t happened at all, just like he always did. Was I just another game to him? Another move in this Fate-spun trap my life kept unraveling into? The negative thoughts consumed me until I was heaving.
As if he could sense my rapid change in mood, he rolled me off his chest and rested his head on his hand once more. “Say it,” he said, letting out another dramatic sigh. “Let it out, Little Seer. Don’t drown in it.”
“You think you can vanish for weeks and stroll into my bed like nothing?” My voice broke on the last word.
He reached out, more strands of my hair threaded through his fingers, stealing the strength from my fury. “Breathe…or let it consume you, the latter has always been your choice. And how has that worked out for you?"
Gods, I hated him. Hated the way his voice grounded the raging storm inside me. I pressed my palms against the mattress, trying to resist touching him, but the bond tugged me back. His pine-scented breath filled the space between us, his eyes studying me as if he saw every unspoken thought.
The distance between us seemed to vanish. My fire coiled with the calm seeping from him. “Where. The fuck. Have you been?”
His expression hardened. He was clearly not impressed with my tone or my curses.
Unfortunately for him, I didn’t care.
“Gathering allies.” He replied, shortly.
“That’s all you’ll give me? Weeks gone, and that’s your answer?”
He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Some things must remain unsaid. For now. And since when do you need me around?"
That was when the infamous smirk made its appearance. The one that said he knew something I didn’t. Heat spiked through me before I could shove it down.
I lifted my hand in another attempt at a strike, but he grabbed my wrist and stopped me.
Gods, that was getting old.
“I wonder,” he murmured, leaning close, “if there’s something else I can help you with…Aurenya.”
My heart nearly stopped beating.
Did he just…?
“You—” My breath hitched, heat tangling with fury. “You said my name.”
His brows lifted slightly. “Did I?”
“You said if—”
“I tasted your name on my tongue, I’d never forget it.” His voice was low, rough as stained velvet. He leaned in like a dare. “I fear, for both of us, that it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
I forgot how to breathe.
“Don’t,” I choked out. “Don’t toy with me.”
He responded with a wide grin, revealing his perfectly white teeth. “Who, me? I wouldn’t dare.”
I shoved at this chest. He didn’t move an inch. “You’re positively infuriating.”
He caught my wrist again before I could pull back, firm enough to make my heart stumble.
“Infuriating?” he murmured. “Perhaps. But admit it, Au-ren-ya—” he dragged out the syllables, savoring them like each one was a sip of the finest wine. “You like the way it sounds leaving my lips.”
Is my skin on fire?
It felt like it was on fire. I could feel sweat forming down my spine.
My pulse raced, but he only leaned closer, nostrils flaring. “You know,” his voice dropped, steady and low, “I don’t wonder anymore.”
I swallowed. “About?”
He lifted a brow, thumb still brushing over my wrist deliberately. “Now I’m certain there’s something I can help you with.” His gaze slid over me hungrily. “Something you burn for even while you still try to deny it.”
I tried to pull my hand away. He only chuckled, refusing to let go. “There it is again. That fire.”
“I never know what that means. What you want.” I whispered.
“And yet, you want to so badly, I’d wager you would beg me for it.”
He was right. That was the worst of it. Every enigmatic word of his set me alight. I wanted all his truths, his secrets. I would gladly get on my knees in front of him if it meant I’d get the answers he withheld.
But I'd be damned if I ever admitted it.
His face dipped closer, his breath warm on my cheek. “Tell me,” he rasped. “Tell me you want me to help you, Aurenya.”
My name was a dare on his tongue. Gods, I wanted him to help me.
I want you to help me…
The words rattled around my brain, but didn't find their way to my lips. A nervous laugh escaped me instead. I wouldn't be the first to fold, I needed him to be direct. “Tell me what you’re getting at.”
He chuckled darkly, raising gooseflesh on my exposed skin. “I don’t need to. You can feel it, the heat between your thighs.”
My body went rigid. He had told me at the gazebo that I crackled like firewood before it catches. Which was ironic because that was exactly what being this close to him felt like.
He leaned in closer, his mouth brushing my ear. “You felt it that night, didn’t you? After I kissed you.” His voice turned into a wicked purr. “The slick between your thighs. You thought I didn’t know. But I did. I do. I can taste it when you glow like that.”