50. Chapter Forty-Eight #4
I froze for a fraction of a second before nodding my head.
Yes.
He chuckled as if he could hear the thought.
“Use your words, Aurenya.” He arched a brow. “And mind your manners.”
I felt my cheeks redden, this was all so new, so strange and humiliating, and ridiculously hot.
“I want your cock in my mouth. Now…please.”
Tairngire let out a groan as he let go of my hair. I looked down to see him fisting his thick length.
He pressed the head of himself onto my tongue, instinct took hold and I wrapped my mouth around him.
“Fuck, Aurenya.” He hissed as he fisted my hair once more. “Look at me.”
The command in his voice had my eyes snapping upward. His eyes were glowing emerald, the runes across his chest lit, divine light shining through them.
He pushed himself forward until he hit the back of my throat, and still, it wasn’t enough to accommodate all of him. I choked, tears stinging the back of my eyes. He started fucking my mouth, slowly, never taking his eyes off mine.
“You. Are. Exquisite.” He accentuated each word with a thrust. His words sent a shiver down my spine.
I was lost in the taste of him, like pine and salt of the earth, coating my tongue.
I watched his jaw clench and his head roll back.
My gaze wondered to his chiseled chest, and his rock-hard stomach—no doubt gleaned from relentless training and the wielding of his deadly twin blades.
If this was a sin, I would gladly take my punishment for it.
I couldn’t bring myself to care about the consequences, nor the temple or Brannach and his asinine ramblings, or the shame that I should have been burning with.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do to hear the low noises coming from Tairngire as he ravaged my mouth.
As far as I was concerned, this was holy ecstasy.
I felt like Branwyn said I would, powerful and in control.
I felt a seed of confidence blooming in my chest and decided to do something I’d read about in one of my romance novels.
I let go of his cock with a pop and wrapped my hand around the thick shaft.
I stroked using the wetness that I’d gathered there with my mouth before taking my tongue to the bottom of his length and up to the crown of him.
His hand froze in my hair as he looked down at me with fire in his eyes.
I couldn’t discern whether he was pleased or not, and before I could ask, he rasped “Do that again.”
And who was I to deny my beautiful god who had given me such pleasure? I cast my gaze downward and repeated the action. I felt his finger underneath my chin, bringing my gaze back to his.
“Eyes on me, I want to see them blown wide with your innocence.”
I froze at his words, suddenly self-conscious about just that—my innocence. I started to pull back as darker thoughts started to gather like incessant flies in my mind, but he grabbed my chin harder and I felt the bond pulse, red hot, as if he could read my every thought.
“Do not shy away, Aurenya. Your innocence is mine to take, and you’re doing so well for me.” He nearly groaned out that last sentence, and I was once again a slave to his dominance.
I took my hand and started to stroke him again, but this time, I wrapped my mouth around his crown, moving my tongue along the slit where that decadent salty pine taste had come from, my eyes rolling back at the sensation of it coating my tongue.
Tairngire was glistening with sweat as his chest heaved, he looked like he was holding something back.
But I didn’t want him to. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I wanted him to give me everything that I’d given him, and more.
Because I was selfish, and the thought of all the others before me was grating on my nerves.
I pulled back and looked him in the eyes as I spoke. “I want more of your taste in my mouth, I want to drown in you as you do in me. Please.”
His eyes flashed and then he let out a sinful chuckle. “Oh, Astór. Those filthy words coming from your sweet, begging mouth are going to ruin me.”
He fisted my hair and started to pump against my hand and mouth with a relentless rhythm. His breathing became more labored before he halted and let out a feral grunt. I felt jets of his hot seed spilling down my throat.
I swallowed all of it as he gazed down at me, his eyelids hooded, a look of wreckage crossing his face.
Before I could form a single thought Tairngire grabbed me underneath my shoulders at a speed only a divine could manage and pulled me up.
I wrapped my legs around his hips on instinct as he devoured my mouth with a growl, tasting himself on my tongue just as he’d made me do.
I lost myself in the kiss that seemed to last for hours, I wouldn’t know. I was far too high off the feeling of pride, for having brought him pleasure. He broke the kiss and twisted around so that he could lay back on the bed, bringing me with him so that I was once again splayed across his chest.
He took his face in his hands and stroked my cheek with his thumb, a satisfied smirk on his lips. “You are perfection. Made for me.”
He brushed his nose against mine. “What are you thinking?”
A loaded question. I was sated, happy and proud, but beneath all of that. I felt a heavy dose of guilt. The latter starting to take its toll, my mind buzzing with the bitter sensation of unworthiness.
How could we both lie here, claimed by pleasure, when the faces of those I’d seen in Morhaven still haunted me—mothers weeping, children starved, futures shattered by threads they thought would bring them peace? My chest ached, shame prickling hot behind my ribs.
No, this wasn’t right. We shouldn’t have been so selfish. I shouldn’t have been.
He felt it all, I know he did. The bond was becoming stronger between us, I could begin to feel it the moment he recognized my emotions. His hand stilled against my cheek, his gaze cutting through the shadows to pin me. “You’re drifting,” he murmured. “What ails you?”
I hesitated, but the words spilled anyway. “How can I deserve this? When others suffer endlessly? When I’ve seen it? I’ve seen every awful Fate handed to them, and yet I lie here taking what some never will.”
His jaw flexed, but his voice stayed low, steady.
“Aurenya.” He tipped my chin until I had no choice but to meet his eyes once again.
“Just because your self-righteous Wardens have forced you to watch every cruelty spun, every ending, doesn’t mean you have to carry them as your own.
Fate has its reasons, and the suffering of others is not yours to bleed for.
Not anymore. It never was. The weight of Sight should have never been bestowed upon mortals.
” He shook his head, a disgusted scoff falling from his lips.
“The Tuatha can be foolish and short-sighted in their acts. But your strength has prevailed. You and me…are going to make the realms whole once more.”
Tears pricked, stubborn, but his thumb brushed them away.
“And you…you don’t have to suffer to prove your worth,” he whispered.
“I see the way you still fight, even when you’re breaking.
You have taught me what mortal resilience looks like.
With every vision you’ve suffered for, every wretched fate you’ve seen, you have only grown stronger.
Other mortals,” his jaw tensed, “have taken lifetimes to achieve what you have in only twenty-five turns of Morhaven’s sun. ”
The words lodged in my throat, foreign. Yet something in me cracked beneath them. I let out a shuddering breath. My body sagged into his hold.
He kissed my temple, coaxing. “Rest now, Astór. Tomorrow will come, with or without your guilt. Tonight, you are all mine. And you deserve to feel this. Every second of it. I am so proud of you, my little breaker of chains, my unyielding fire, my undying flame. You are going to do great things. I am honored to watch you grow into your highest self and help me defeat the evil that has corrupted the realms.”
His hand smoothed down my back, steady, protective. Slowly, the weight of his uncharacteristically sweet words sank deeper than my shame. The comfort of his new term of endearment calming me.
Tomorrow, we would take another step into stopping the King of Ash and his malicious intents, and I would finally learn the weight of Tairngire’s secrets. I decided then that there was nothing he could do or say that would make me think less of him.
Aside from loving another. But that was impossible, I knew it in the way that he looked at me like I was sent from Caerthannas itself to walk by his side for eternity.
Whatever came next, we would face together. We would save the realms with our allies, even if I died in his arms to do it. It would be a life well lived, a purpose that I could hold close in my descent to the underworld.
My breath began to even out as I felt his chest rising beneath me, coaxing me yet again into a deep and restful sleep, devoid of any dreams.