Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Leaving John had become the hardest part of my week.
I hated walking through the departure lounge knowing there was an ocean between us until the next time.
I hated that I couldn’t just jump in the car and get to him, that I had to rely on flight schedules, trains and boats.
Such a lot of variants that could go wrong.
For all my previous ways of longing for, and needing plans, I found myself longing not to have to make a plan; just wake up and be there and do as we felt on that day.
Times were changing. I barely recognised the person I was when I with John, but I liked her. I was stronger, happier, and way more confident.
Regular travelling meant permanently readjusting to the completely different cultures.
Despite being only an hour’s flight away, the people and the way of life were light years apart.
I went from the quiet, remote solitude of John’s country house and family, to landing into chaos on the motorway, traffic jams (not ones consisting of cattle), long, drawn-out diversions, toll roads and people everywhere swarming the streets like ants.
By Friday I was used to city life again and when I landed in Knock again the serenity and laid-back attitude to life seemed to shock me again.
I was all over the shop. It was one extreme to another.
I couldn’t go on like this and we both knew it.
But was it too soon to take up and leave and start again completely?
I didn’t know. When I was away from John, a part of me still worried it was too good to be true, and it wouldn’t last. Why should our love be different to anyone before us?
The ones I’d seen soar high, full of excitement, wonder, and promise, before crashing and burning, hitting the ground at high speed; an accident destined to happen.
When I was with him, I was in absolutely no doubt. It was the other half of the week I struggled with.