8. Luna
LUNA
My eyes feel strange.
Swollen and itchy. The urge to rub them is nearly constant, but I refrain while Thorne wears out his bedroom floor. His mouth has hardly stopped moving since I arrived, though I’ve maybe picked up on half of what he’s said.
Above the sink in his room is a black curtain that shields a mirror. Perched on the edge of the bed, I stare at it and let my mind go back to the day I found it covered for the first time. We said nothing of it; only a look was exchanged, and it was that day that I believed I almost loved him.
How strange would it be if I asked him to raise the curtain, just this once? Just so I could examine if my eyes are as red and irritated as they feel?
They must not be because he hasn’t commented on them. Then again, judging by the monologue rolling off his lips, I don’t think he’s thinking of anything but himself.
“My loyalty is to you. And only you. I will never forget that again. You believe me, don’t you, my love?”
He’s called me my love six times during this conversation.
“Luna, please.” He closes the two feet of distance between us and drops to his knees, his hands clasping together as he takes on a begging position. “Please, tell me you can forgive me. Please.”
His forearms rest like heavy rocks on my knees, nervous sweat gleaming on his forehead. I do not move, nor do I allow my lip to curl. When my arms lift to cross over my chest, I press them into my side.
Thorne messed up. He did.
He chose to honor my father’s wishes over my own. His betrayal cost Alaric his life, caused pain to two women who didn’t deserve it, and fractured the respect our people have for me.
He made me look weak.
But… It isn’t his fault that every inch of my skin feels dirty and used. That my head is so distracted, I can barely concentrate on his words. That I’m overstimulated, tired, and mentally exhausted.
So I don’t cringe. I don’t pull away.
I frown, forcing my hand to run through his short hair. “I already forgive you, Thorne. It isn’t my heart that’s broken. It’s my trust.”
His bottom lip puckers as he swallows, his eyes creasing like he’s in physical pain. “Tell me what I have to do to earn it back.”
He sounds so desperate. So panicked. Like one day of my love withheld has ripped him to shreds.
He would feel differently if he knew how I behaved last night.
I stand as my throat thickens and push the memory from my mind.
Try to, at least. Cupping my wrist, I wander to the mirror.
“Be patient… I know how manipulative my father can be. Now that he’s succeeded once, he’ll try again, eventually.
When that time comes, resist. Trust me to protect you from him. ”
“I’m not afraid of him.”
I turn back to find sincerity in his sweet, chocolate eyes as he stands, his posture almost defensive.
I believe him. It wasn’t fear that made him betray me… It was stupidity.
I turn back to the mirror and gently pull the curtain to the side.
My chest tightens with a held breath—how dramatic—but even that hardly prepares me for the sight of purple and red sloppily bloating a harsh, pale canvas.
A purple ring forms around bloodshot eyes, a red slash cracking dull lips.
No visible eyelashes to draw attention from swollen eyelids, no blush to even hint at femininity.
If it weren’t for the delicate cut of a jaw and the subtle curvature of breasts, there would be little to signal gender. Even the hair that occasionally favors a feminine flow is pulled into a tight knot at the base of the neck, invisible to those looking dead on.
I let the curtain fall back into place.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Thorne says, his voice softening. “I tried to find you last night, but you weren’t in your room. Your father said you might have gone to the mines to get Sawyer Hansley.”
“Whatever jealousy you feel—”
“Aiden was caught trying to sneak out the whore… Not Liberty, but the other one.”
My cheeks fall. I stay facing the covered mirror, my arms feeling so heavy, I release my wrist and let my hands hang like anchors at my sides.
“Does Father know?”
“No,” Thorne is quick to say. “Not yet.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Thorne’s heavy steps lead to my back, his large body hovering behind me. He rests his palm on my shoulder and squeezes. “Did you order him to do it, my love?”
My mouth stays shut for several moments. Not out of fear for what Thorne will think. I know what Thorne will think.
I’m simply exhausted.
“Yes.”
Thorne lets out a heavy breath, like he was afraid of the answer, though he must’ve known it was coming. “You know you can’t tell anyone.”
I know.
“Everyone knows Aiden would never act against my wishes.”
“And everyone also knows you wouldn’t act against the best interest of your people. If that woman had gotten out… There’s no telling the damage she could have done to us, Luna. She could have claimed anything, and the authorities would—”
“If you hadn’t had her raped, it wouldn’t have been a problem.
” Thorne’s hand slides from my shoulder as I face him.
“The reason she isn’t listed as a victim of Sawyer’s island is because she never came forward.
She was loyal to Sawyer, and she would’ve associated this place with him and remained loyal if you hadn’t done what you did. ”
He frowns. Guilty. Pitiful.
But unconvinced.
And he’s right. It was risky to set Aubry and Liberty free. Too much depended on Sawyer, on the bond he formed with the women. And Sawyer is not to be depended on—regardless of what my primitive mind seems to believe.
I put my people in jeopardy. My own sister had to die for the same crime.
“You’re right, my love,” Thorne lies. “This is my fault… What do you want me to do now?”
I turn my head to stare at the curtain-covered mirror. Seconds tick by while I delay the inevitable, waiting for … What?
There is only one appropriate course of action.
“Kill her.”
The words come out so sharp; my chest grows painfully tight, as if my heart is literally freezing over.
Thorne nods, his chest deflated like he’s relieved by my decision.
“Incinerate the body and spread the word that there were two. I don’t want anyone wondering where Liberty is.”
The space between Thorne’s eyes wrinkles. “She’s…?”
Dead.
I almost say the word but hold it back. Thorne and I don’t lie to each other. That’s Sawyer’s and my thing.
He knows the answer anyway.
“As far as the Shadow Sanctum is concerned, she’s dead,” I say with finality.
Thorne blinks. He stares off for a moment before nodding. Relieved, I think. He liked Liberty.
A knock on the door draws our attention.
“Who is it?” Thorne calls.
Joshua—fellow Keeper and one of Thorne’s oldest friends—opens the door.
“Hello, Your Grace.” He bows. “Forgive me for interrupting, but—”
Sandy blond hair flashes as Joshua crashes against the doorjamb. Sawyer wedges through with a look of urgency that raises the hairs on my arms.
If it weren’t for his searching eyes, flicking over my body, I’d be worried. The way he looks at me … as though I’m a fragile toy who left his sight…
“Hey.” His gaze settles on mine. He hasn’t so much as thrown Thorne a glance. “Are you okay?”
My itchy eyes narrow. “Am I okay?”
“He said it was an emergency,” Joshua blurts.
“She’s fine.” Thorne’s shoulders widen as he steps in front of me. “Luna isn’t your concern. Your concern is…” He pauses. Shakes his head. “I don’t even know what we need you for anymore. But you are not welcome—”
“Thorne.” He looks over his shoulder to see my raised hand, then obediently steps to the side. No argument. No anger. My loyal love, once again.
My palm slaps my side. “What do you want, Dreg?”
Sawyer’s head rears back. With surprise, I think, but then there’s a cringe that’s almost … pained. The blue of his irises glistens with it. “Are you serious?”
I look an inch past his right ear and ignore the heat that crawls up my neck. The welts on my backside suddenly burn, though I know the sensation must be in my head. But it feels very real.
Thorne watches me closely enough for everyone to hear the unspoken question. He’ll never ask it, and I’d never answer.
“Your initiation test will take place this afternoon. You need to go back to the training house and wait. Someone will come get you when it’s time.”
There’s a moment of reprieve when he looks at Thorne, but the heat of his gaze is back before I take a full breath. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Something he needs to talk to me about…
I can’t even begin to know which thing to dread.
The riding crop. The tears. The sex. The … words.
It will never happen again. I’m sorry for dragging him into such depravity in the first place… I told him so.
Nothing else needs said.
“Just go, Dreg. Whatever you need to say, you can say it when you’re an honored member of our society. As it is, I’ve already given you too much attention.”
I lift a hand to signal for Joshua to take Sawyer away. For the first time since Sawyer entered, I make the mistake of looking into his eyes—and pause at the disdain etched into his expression. It’s the look I feared last night.
“Get your fuckin’ hands off me.” Sawyer jerks from Joshua. He looks me up and down and shakes his head before turning and leaving of his own accord.
When we’re alone again, Thorne doesn’t mention Sawyer. For once, we don’t fight about it.
He takes my hand and gently turns me to face him. Kindness I don’t deserve. “What should I do about Aiden?”
The name is like a stab to the ear.
My eyes pinch shut, jaw clenching. I lower my head and try not to be ruled by emotion. Following my order or not, he betrayed the safety of the Shadow Sanctum. Just as I did.
As with Aubry—as with Zephyr—there is only one appropriate course of action.
My jaw releases as I raise my head. “I’ll arrange for the executions.”