Chapter 10
Yesterday, I had witnessed one man lose an arm and another his head, and almost lost my own life – all without shedding a single tear.
Yet here I was, falling apart in front of this confused man.
I tried wiping the silent tears from my cheeks before he noticed, but they kept coming.
He walked over, patted my shoulder, then guided me to a stool and motioned for me to sit down. He pulled a small, folded cloth from his leather vest and handed it to me. I thanked him and pressed it hard to my eyes.
Stop crying, you fool. The poor man will think you’re unhinged.
When I had set out from Red River to find my mother’s killer, I had not imagined I might encounter the others who had been there.
Though I had dreams of that night often and saw all their faces over and over in my mind, I had never given a single thought about what had happened to Torgrin, Atlas or this man now staring at me with concern.
They had all put themselves between me and a brutal murderer.
The blond man picked up a thin piece of slate resting against a coil of rope. He removed something from his vest and began to write.
The handwriting was childlike but clear to read: Webber. He pointed at the word on the slate and then at his chest.
‘Hello, Webber,’ I said, my sadness deepening.
If I told him who I was, would he resent me? He should, I thought harshly.
‘I’m Caris.’
He used his sleeve to wipe the slate clean, then wrote again. Sad? He pointed at me.
‘I think I’m a bad person and I wish I weren’t,’ I said bitterly, looking down at the gloves I wore to hide the wounds that would never truly heal on the inside.
He shook his head and wrote again. Meg says good. He pointed at me. Meg says brave and beautiful!
I shook my head, his face blurring before I blinked away the gathering tears.
Meg always right about people. His one remaining eye shone.
At that moment, Tomas returned to take me back to the fortress.
‘Thank you for taking such good care of Nightmare for me,’ I said, standing up.
Webber smiled and gave me a little bow. I wished I could undo the hurt I’d caused.
I kept my eyes on the ground as I followed Tomas, the weight of each step heavier than the last. There were too many faces around me, too many questions hanging in the air, thick and suffocating. I was thinking of things I should’ve said, the moments I should’ve acted – all of it far too late now.
‘I was told to let Lord Warwick know when you have recovered from your injuries so he can meet with you to discuss your protection duties.’ We had arrived at my room. ‘Can I tell him that tomorrow is suitable?’
I nodded and turned to open the door. ‘Tomas?’ I said, my eyes fixed on a knot in the wooden door. ‘Why haven’t you told anybody about that day in the street?’ He was silent and I turned to see him frowning at his tar-polished boots.
‘I’m not sure what I saw. But …’ He trailed off, then finally looked up at me. ‘You saved that woman and her child.’ He gave me a slight nod and I watched him disappear down the corridor.
A great weariness descended over my body and mind as I climbed into that glorious bed.
Webber, whose act of bravery to save me from sharing my mother’s fate, was here.
His presence at Warwick Fortress told me something vital.
Atlas and Torgrin surely wouldn’t have brought Webber and Meg to the fortress if the man they had saved him from was also here.
I could reveal my identity to Atlas and Torgrin and ask them what they know about their old captain. Then what? Would I leave Murus now and continue my search? Now that I had given my oath to Lord Warwick, it felt dishonourable to walk away.
Could I put my plans on hold so easily? Revenge had driven me for so long. Iain had only trained me to fight because I demanded it. I needed a reason to have survived that night.
Since arriving in Murus, I have felt nothing but conflicted.
A new fire began burning in my belly, and I leaped off the bed. Now that I was inside the fortress there was something I could still do. Someone I could find. Millie.
The corridors were quiet, and I encountered no-one while searching the lower levels for the dungeon. Soon, I discovered a short, undecorated hallway with a single door and narrow stone steps leading downward. Had I found the way into the belly of Murus Fortress, where the dungeon might be?
The sound of multiple feet on the steps alerted me that someone was approaching.
I darted through the door and discovered it was an armoury.
Holding my breath with a racing heart, I listened as people passed where I was hiding.
When the sound of footsteps faded, I opened the door just enough to see a tall figure in a soldier’s uniform and a smaller cloaked figure in iron manacles vanish around the corner.
I followed them through the dark, until they disappeared down an unfamiliar corridor with multiple doors, and it took me time to determine which way they had gone.
I reached the end of the hall and discovered that one door had been left slightly ajar.
When I realised it led to the entrance hall of the fortress, I knew the pair must now be outside.
There was enough moonlight for me to recognise a familiar outline. Torgrin. He was holding the reins of a horse and whispering to the petite figure still hidden under a rough-hewn cloak.
I crept closer, making sure to keep to the shadows.
The petite figure’s manacles were gone. They nodded in their hood and briefly embraced Torgrin around the waist. Torgrin dropped to his knee and made a foothold for the cloaked figure, who used it to mount the waiting horse.
‘Thank you, Captain. I shall never forget you.’
I knew that voice. The hood fell back as she took the reins from Torgrin, and the dim light glinted off the metal hairclip I had made for Millie. Her black curls bounced as she rode out of the fortress gates unopposed by the guards posted on night watch.
‘I know you’re there, Caris.’ Torgrin turned to look directly where I was hiding.
I stepped out of the shadows, and his face came into view. The corner of one side of his mouth lifted. ‘You need to learn to lift those feet.’
Bastard.
‘Why did you free Millie?’ I asked, lowering my voice in case someone was watching us.
He shrugged. ‘It’s a hassle having someone in the dungeon. I would have to remember to feed and water her,’ he said with a smirk.
I didn’t believe a word of it.
‘Do you know what she is?’
‘Yes.’
‘And what she did?’
‘She can mend broken bones. I think women who can break bones are more dangerous.’ He raised a dark brow at me.
Torgrin let a Cursed woman go free. She would be hanged anywhere else.
‘What is it you wish to ask me?’ said Torgrin as he crossed his arms, his gaze unwavering.
‘How do you know I want to ask you something?’
‘Because you’re biting that lip of yours.’
I was glad it was too dark for him to see my burning cheeks. ‘Do you remember me?’ I whispered. ‘Do you know who I’m looking for?’
‘Yes.’ Torgrin’s eyes seemed to reflect the light of the moon.
‘I met the soldier who removed the sword from my mother’s body.’
‘Webber,’ said Torgrin, taking a step closer.
‘Webber wouldn’t be here if he was here, would he? So … where is he?’ My voice trembled. ‘He needs to pay for what he did. My mother was kind and gentle, and she was all I had left.’
We stood there, locked in a stare, and I felt the heat radiating off him, steady and unnerving. My mouth was dry, but I couldn’t look away. He was so close, close enough that I thought maybe – just maybe – he might finally say something. Anything.
‘Please?’ I begged him. ‘He was your captain. You must know something.’
Light shimmered in his black irises. The silence between us stretched out, thick and heavy, and I fought the urge to break it and ask again. I stilled, waiting for his answer.
‘Atlas and I left the night I pushed you into the river. I don’t know what happened to him or where he is now.’
That was not what I wanted to hear.
‘You’re lying.’ Warm tears trickled down my cheeks.
‘I would never lie to you, Caris.’ Torgrin lifted a hand to brush away my tears, but I turned and fled before he could.
I was back at the campsite, surrounded by shadows and blood. I heard my mother calling my name. The sound of her voice led me away from the man with fragmented blue eyes.
Deep in the woods, I followed her calls for help, until I found a black-feathered owl screeching my name with my mother’s voice. I ran from it in terror, halting when I reached the river.
There, they waited. Floating on the surface – looking up at the night sky with empty eyes – were all the people I have ever loved.
I woke with a start and the strong sense I was being watched.
Someone was here.
I peered around the dark room to find it quiet and empty. I rose from the bed and pulled the large iron latch across to lock the door. Feeling more at ease, I stripped off my clothes and returned to sleep.
It was morning, and there was a knock at the door. I grumbled as I got up to open it, but I paused when I saw that the book of fables I had dropped on the floor yesterday was now closed and sitting on the table next to the chair. I hadn’t imagined it; someone had been in my room while I was asleep.
A servant was waiting with a jug of water when I unlocked and opened the door.
‘I have fresh water for you and some things you might like.’
‘Did you or any other servant enter my room while I slept last night?’ I let her in, my mind still on the book.
‘No, ma’am,’ she said with wide eyes. ‘I swear none of us girls would disturb you during the night.’
She left the jug along with some items to clean my teeth and tie my hair.
She also left a small mirror leaning against some books stacked on the writing desk.
I dressed in another pair of breeches from the chest and found a black shirt, much like yesterday’s.
I brushed my hair out and braided the sides using the mirror to check it was tidy.
The graze on my cheek was gone, the skin smooth and unmarked.
My colour was decent, with a little flush to my cheeks.
I just hoped I was respectable enough for today’s meeting with Lord Warwick.
I fastened my sword around my hips and headed to the barracks for breakfast. This time, the soldiers dining took little notice of me as I headed to where Torgrin and Atlas sat. There was already a chair and plate waiting for me.
‘Good day,’ I said as I sat down. Both men were looking at me strangely. ‘What?’ I asked, confused.
‘Are you all right?’ Atlas asked, his hazel eyes searching my face.
‘Yes. Why?’
I looked at Torgrin, who was also watching me closely. ‘I followed you to check that you were okay.’
‘You were the one who came into my room!’ I said loud enough that those near us turned and looked.
‘I could hear you crying,’ Torgrin said, crossing his arms.
‘Do you cry in your sleep often?’ Atlas asked, his eyebrows drawing together.
I felt the heat creep into my face. I hastily rose from the table, my chair tipped over with a bang, and everyone turned to look at us.
‘Both of you, stay out of my room!’ I warned. They pitied me, and it felt humiliating. I couldn’t let them think I was weak, and it was unbearable to know Torgrin had heard me cry like a child in my sleep. I spun around and walked out with as much dignity as I could muster.
Thankfully, I wasn’t left stewing in embarrassment for long. Tomas came to my room to take me to meet with Lord Warwick.
We ascended the main staircase and entered the left wing of the building.
Magnificent stained glass windows dominated the hall, casting a kaleidoscope of blues and reds across the flagstones.
Intricate tapestries covered the stony walls, each telling a story of ancient times.
According to Tomas, they designated this area of the fortress for meetings and welcoming important guests.
He pointed out two doors set in a hefty stone arch.
Filling the air was the faint musty scent of age.
‘There is the library. It has its own curator. He was the only person in residence here for many years, looking after the books and old scrolls.’
I took note of the library doors as we passed. I wanted to come back and see if there were maps of Pedion. There were so many gaps in my knowledge of what lay beyond Murus.
‘Captain Torgrin spends a lot of his time in there. He reads more than anyone I’ve ever met!’
How annoying. Perhaps I would stay away.
‘Is it true you will join us at training? I heard Captain Torgrin saying you would be.’
‘Did he now?’ The last thing I wanted was to be around him more often, but perhaps the sting of humiliation would ease if I pointed my sword at the man who caused it. ‘I could show Torgrin a thing or two, I guess.’
‘That, I would pay a gold coin to see,’ Tomas chuckled.
Two armed guards stood in front of a closed door. It was the first time I had seen guards inside the fortress. Tomas knocked and waited until Lord Warwick gave permission to enter, then he nodded his fair head encouragingly and left me to go in alone.