Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
“ELASTIC HEART” BY SAMI ROSE
IRIS
“Let’s run you a bath,” Nikolai says after several moments of lying in each other’s arms. “Do you have any bath salts?”
“I think so.” I stretch when he gets up, my nose wrinkling at the slight throbbing between my thighs and the stickiness that coats the inside of them.
Sitting up, I scoot over to the edge of the bed, the red slash across the sheet capturing my attention.
My heart skips a beat as I stare at the stain, at the proof that I am no longer a virgin.
I’m torn, a mixture of elation and sadness filling me.
I finally know what it’s like to have a man inside me, to be connected so completely to someone else, and it was with my childhood crush, the boy I fell for so many years ago.
But it wasn’t after several dates, after reconnecting and taking things at our own pace.
This was forced upon both of us, and that mars the pleasure that has loosened my muscles, which is still running through my veins.
“I’ll change them while you soak, Solinishko,” Nikolai says, emerging from my bathroom, the sound of water splashing into the tub drawing my gaze away from the proof of my virginity.
“You don’t have to,” I tell him, a blush staining my cheeks as I get up. I suddenly feel unsure, my arms coming up to wrap around myself as a shiver pebbles my skin in goosebumps.
“But I want to,” he replies, walking over to me and pulling me into his embrace, my arms automatically unwrapping to return the hug.
My body immediately relaxes into his, his juniper scent full of a male musk that I’m really loving and can’t help nestling into, the touch of our skin exciting and comforting. “And my father will need to see them.”
I stiffen in his arms, unbidden tears filling my eyes. I fucking hate this, hate that something which was so special is being tainted by that vile man.
“I hate that he’s spoiling this,” I whisper, a single tear slipping down my cheek.
“Me too, Moye Solntse.” He sighs, my head moving up and down with his deep inhale. “But he can never take away tonight, what we’ve shared. That’s for us alone.”
My chest aches, and I pull away just enough so that I can look into his eyes.
They’re not hard like his father’s. They’re full of compassion.
I’ve no idea how he’s kept his goodness all these years, lord knows Sergi has tried to beat it out of him.
I always knew about the punishments and harsh training, Nikolai could never quite hide the black eyes and bruises, although we never spoke about them.
I just patched him up in silence, my heart hurting for the boy who was always kind to me.
My lips part as the realisation hits me like a slap to the face.
I love Nikolai, I always have done.
The way he used to play childish games with me, even when I knew he was so much older than me, he’d never complain.
The letters he’s been sending me for the past few years, always making me laugh and feel good about myself, even when I complained about how boring my etiquette lessons were, how I longed for something more.
He was there, telling me with his written words that I would be exactly who I wanted to be because I was a force to be reckoned with.
He made me believe in myself when I thought that all I was worth was what I could bring to a husband.
Those letters were almost angry, telling me that I was allowed my own dreams, that I could do whatever I wanted to set my mind to.
“Nikolai, I l—” He presses a finger against my lips, his head shaking sadly.
“Don’t say it, Solinishko,” he sighs, his eyes tormented, and a shudder falls over me, my chest flaring in pain at being denied the need to tell him how I feel. “Not yet, save it for another day.”
“O–okay,” I murmur, trying and failing to keep the tremble from my lip.
“He’ll just use it against you, against me,” he says as his forehead crinkles, and I swallow, knowing that he speaks about Sergi and his need for ultimate control over his son. “Come, let’s get you in the tub.”
I miss his warmth as soon as he steps away, but he takes my hand, which is some consolation, leading me into my bathroom. The almost full bath is full of bubbles and I assume some bath salts as the jar is open on the side.
No words pass between us as he turns the tap off, helping me into the hot water. A deep sigh leaves my lips as it covers my body, my muscles relaxing into the warmth as I lie back.
“I’ll be back soon, Dorogaia,” he assures me, placing a light kiss on my head before leaving the room and pulling the door, not shutting it completely.
I listen to him moving around my room as I soak, the swish of the sheets being changed accompanying my slow and steady breathing as I try to process what the fuck happened in the past few hours.
How did I go from a normal young woman with a bright future ahead of her to this? Being owned by the Russian Bratva, losing my virginity to my childhood crush—who happens to be the son of the leader—and having the proof of my virginity being paraded for all to see?
Low voices draw me out of my thoughts, the bedroom door softly closing, and my heart races. They’ll all know what Nikolai took, what I gave him. Although, would I have done so under different circumstances? I don’t regret that my first was him because I’d always fantasised that it would be him.
But those were the dreams of a young, naive girl who knew absolutely fucking nothing of the world and all the shit that is in it. My jaw clenches when I think about my father and what he’s done.
We’ve always been so close, my mother leaving before I was old enough to walk brought us together.
It was me and him against the world. My throat tightens when I think about Nik’s words earlier and the fact that my dad didn’t have a choice.
Was he hurt? Where has he gone? And why didn’t he take me with him?
Questions swirl around my mind as my hands trace the bubbles in the water.
How could he have just traded me like a piece of property he had no other use for?
I know he sent that message, and Nikolai says he didn’t have much of a choice, but to sell off your own daughter…
that shit’s fucked up. That’s the kind of unforgivable act that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I think about getting in touch with him, calling or texting him back and asking him all of this, demanding that he explain himself, but aside from the fact that Sergi has my phone and I can’t remember my dad’s number, would that put him in danger?
Does he even have his phone or did he ditch it so that Sergi wouldn’t be able to track him?
And do I even want to speak to him after what he’s done?
I’m sure Sergi promised that I’d be looked after, but surely my father knows the man better than I do, and I know that he likes to hurt people, I could see it in his eyes downstairs. He liked my fear, and I know from his treatment of Nikolai, and from what I can guess, that Sergi is not a good man.
“Are you ready to get out?” Nikolai asks, his deep voice interrupting my swirling thoughts, and I startle a little even at his soft tone. I glance up to find him leaning in the doorway, his tattooed arms crossed over his muscled chest, wearing just his black boxers.
My brain short-circuits for a moment, the sight of him rendering me speechless and overriding my overwrought mind. His cough breaks my ogling, and my cheeks heat at being caught staring.
“I’m ready,” I reply in a rasp, getting up. He moves towards me, taking a towel off the heated rail and helping me out of the bath, wrapping the warm towel around me.
“Let’s get you to bed, you need to rest.” His large hands rub the towel over my skin, making sure every inch is dry before he hangs it back up and leads me into the bedroom.
The bed is freshly made, the duvet back on it, and I see he’s even put out some of my favourite PJs; an oversized T-shirt and fluffy bed socks. A small chuckle falls from my lips when I see which T-shirt it is.
“What’s so funny, Kotenok?” he asks, a single brow raised even as his lips tilt up into a smile.
“Do you know what this means?” I question, letting go of his hand to pick up the T-shirt before slipping it over my head.
“No…”
I glance down, laughing again. It’s a picture of several book spines, flowers surrounding them with the words ‘Just buy me books and tell me to STFUATTDLAGG.’
“It’s an acronym…” I start, that stupid blush heating my cheeks again.
“And?” he questions, bending down to help me put the socks on.
I belatedly realise he’s given me no knickers, though I can’t say I’m too sad given I hope he’ll be in bed with me.
Evangeline gives a weak protest, still a little sore even after my hot bath, but if more sexy time with Nik is on the table, I’m taking it.
“It means, shut the fuck up and take this dick like a good girl.” I bite my lower lip as he stills.
It was a joke T-shirt one of the girls got me for my birthday, knowing my love for naughty romance novels, and one that I never explained to my father.
His head raises and the fire in his eyes burns hot enough to scald me.
“Time for bed, Solnishko,” he whispers, taking my hand once more and leading me to the side of the bed.
“Will you stay with me?” I ask as I get in, hearing his hissed breath behind me when I crawl to the opposite side, flashing all the goods at him. Good, he can feel as desperate as I currently do.
“For a little while,” he answers, climbing in beside me and immediately pulling me close.
For a second, I worry what will happen when he leaves.
Will Sergi or one of his men come into my room?
Then he pulls me closer, and I know that he’ll never let anyone hurt me.
It’s a truth that I know deep in my bones; Nik will protect me no matter what.
I snuggle into his chest, my finger playing with the ink marking his body.