Chapter 28 #2
Something in my chest constricts and heats at the way she smiles at the child, encouraging the young girl when she gets it right, praising her, and I can see the child almost fucking soar with the gentleness that Iris shows.
She has no idea what that means to people like us, kids who grew up in a harsh world where very few care.
“She really is something, isn’t she, brother?” Roman asks softly, coming to stand next to me where I’m leaning against the wall. He’s been helping Iris, and I snort at the amount of glitter that covers him.
“She’s perfection,” I murmur, going back to watching her as she looks at some picture a young boy has drawn. His chest puffs out when she smiles, her gentle words telling him how wonderful the frankly terrible image is.
It seems all the kids on the estate have turned up, even the older boys who always skulk around trying to cause mischief.
She’s given them the task of helping some of the younger ones, and what’s incredible is that none of them gave her any snark.
They just agreed and have been taking part as much as the smaller ones, some of whose parents are here too.
Hunt arrived with his cookies, which lasted all of three seconds, and the sounds that filled the room are innocent joy, something that we’ve not had much of on the estate.
They weren’t wrong when they called it The World’s End, because it so often felt like that.
Like anyone who came here was one of the forgotten, left to rot where no one cares.
The girl she’s with turns away, and I watch as Iris’s lips purse, the lines around her eyes tightening, telling me that her painkillers have worn off. I push off the wall, grabbing a bottle of water from the side that is laden with more snacks and drinks before heading towards her.
She beams at me as she turns around, and it damn near kickstarts my cold, dead heart.
“You’re in pain,” I tell her, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the tablets. “You can take more now.”
Her entire face softens. “Thank you, Roo.” Our fingers brush as she takes the pills from me, and electricity sizzles up my arm, warmth diffusing across my entire body right into my black soul. I open the water for her, handing that over too so she can swallow them down.
“Drink some more,” I order her when she pulls the bottle from her lips, and she doesn’t even pause, just does exactly what I say. Fuck, it’s entirely inappropriate the way my dick twitches at that, at her compliance. Especially given the circumstances. “Good girl.”
I watch as her cheeks flush, and knowing that it was my words that caused her blush has my inner monster purring in satisfaction.
“Do you think they’re all enjoying themselves?” she asks me after a moment, her eyes looking around us at the room, at the children laughing and smiling, while she sucks her lower lip into her mouth.
“I think this is probably one of the days they’ll remember as a good one for years,” I tell her honestly, her beautiful hazel eyes landing back on me and bringing all the sunshine with them.
“Do you have any good memories from when you were a child?” she inquires hesitantly, her hand finding mine and tangling our fingers together.
My jaw clenches, the dark memories trying to surface, regardless of her soothing touch.
Then I hear my brother laugh, and it’s enough to allow me to shut them down, to focus on the here and now.
“Some, mostly with Roman,” I answer, my voice raspy, the brush with the darkness of my past too fresh.
“I wish you hadn’t had to suffer,” she whispers, and I watch as her eyes sparkle with unshed tears. Tears that are because of me, of what she may suspect about my past, but I’m not ready to tell her just yet. She doesn’t need my darkness tainting her light.
“It’s only in suffering we can truly appreciate the good,” I tell her, my hand cupping her soft cheek. She nuzzles into it, and I swear to god my heart skips a full beat. She really is something else, like our very own angel, though lord knows we can’t be saved, we’re too far gone.
“If my father hadn’t…” she pauses, swallowing. “If my father hadn’t sold me, I may have never ended up here with you.”
She turns her face up to me, and I can no more resist her invitation than the stars can refuse to shine. The moment my lips land on hers, I know I’m home, that this is all I’ll ever want. She’s my sunshine, my lamb to slaughter and remake how I need. She’s my good in this dark world.
Childish giggles and fake gagging have her pulling back with a small laugh as the children around us let their opinions of our kiss be known.
Her cheeks are even more flushed now, and the colour is perfect on her.
I can feel a slight warmth in mine, but I could never be truly embarrassed to be kissing my girl.
“Miss Iris?” a small voice asks, and I smirk realising they don’t know she’s Hunt’s wife yet. He’ll be pissed. We both look down to see Jimmy, a boy whose father drinks far too much and often forgets to bring him food.
We make sure he eats, but all our efforts of getting Dan sobered up have failed thus far.
I make a mental note to check in on them, potentially step up our persuasion on Dan to clean up his act.
Especially seeing how threadbare Jimmy’s clothes are, the holes in his jumper.
It’s too cold for him to not be dressed properly.
“Yes? Jimmy, isn’t it?” she asks, and his smile is tentative as he nods.
“I, um, I finished my scarf, but I’m not sure what to do next,” he confesses softly, holding up what looks like a pretty respectable scarf in a mottled rainbow yarn that is so bright it hurts my eyes.
“My goodness, that was so quick!” Iris exclaims as she looks at the item. Then she turns to me, her smile like a breath of spring after a cold and dreary winter. “You know, I’ve never known anyone who picked up knitting quite so quickly. Jimmy is a natural.”
I watch as he practically floats, my dead heart thumping inside my chest at the way she said that just to make him feel good.
She turns back to him and starts explaining something about casting off as they walk back over to where Jimmy was sitting.
I can’t take my eyes off her, at the sunshine she brings wherever she goes.
And I know, now more than ever, that I can’t live without it, without her. Not now that I know what the brush of heaven feels like.
“PICTURES” BY ECF
IRIS
I heave a contented sigh, waving the last of the children goodbye and shutting the door to the room we’ve been using this afternoon. The sun is just starting to set, setting the room ablaze in shades of orange and pink, courtesy of the wall of floor-to-ceiling windows.
Turning around and preparing to clean up, I find the room already back to how it was when we first walked in. Hunt is loading the last of the cups and plates in the dishwasher in the kitchen area while the twins put the craft stuff away in the cupboard that has been set aside for us.
“You didn’t have to clean up,” I tell them as I reach for the broom to sweep up the mountain of glitter that seems to be spread across the room, but Roman gets there first.
“Yes we do, Princess,” he tells me, beginning to sweep all the glitter into a pile, Rowan heading over with a dustpan and brush. “You have worked hard enough this afternoon, and those kids left with bigger smiles on their faces than I’ve ever seen.”
“They did seem to have fun, didn’t they?” I ask, tiredness suddenly making me sway a little on my feet.
Suddenly, strong arms wrap around me from behind, the scent of mint and rosemary telling me it’s Hunter before his deep voice rumbles in my ear. “Sit down before you fall down, Peaches.”
He guides me over to one of the leather sofas that line the room, drawing me down onto his lap as we watch the twins finish up.
“Thank you for your help, the cookies went down a storm,” I mumble, snuggling into him. His arms band around me tightly and moisture stings my eyes because it feels so right, like I’m finally where I’m meant to be. Bloody hormones.
“I saved you some back at the flat, I knew you’d forget to eat anything once you got started,” he chides, brushing his lips across my hair. My eyelids flutter, my body completely relaxed against his. “Come, let’s take you home, wife.”
Home.
The word bounces around in my brain, settling there and taking on new meaning.
The flat is our home, but more so, these three hard men, these Shadows, are my home.
They love me for who I am and have stepped up in a way that no one else has done for me before.
I come to the sudden and irreversible realisation that they are my chosen family, and that my bond with them, even over this short time, is far stronger than the man who helped to give me life.
I don’t need him anymore, because I have them and they would never betray me, never trade me like a piece of discarded clothing.
A fissure of sadness winds its way around my heart, telling me that there is another to add to make our home complete. I wonder what Nik is doing right now while we are safe together? Is he hurting? Is his father punishing him again?
The sun dips behind the buildings, casting the room in shadows and darkness, and a shiver works its way up my spine even though it’s warm in here.
Please let him be safe.