Chapter 16 #2
I take in a deep inhale through my nostrils. He has no fucking care for any innocents that might get hurt. Saturday must be one of the busiest nights for Depravity, the Shadows’ club in Shoreditch. Plus that only gives me seven days to put everything in place.
I don’t know why his actions surprises me anymore. I know what type of monster he is. Yet a part of me still can’t believe the things he will do just because he can.
“Yes, sir,” I reply, taking his nod as a dismissal. I get up, turning and heading to the door, Dima in front and Andrei behind me. They’ve taken to trying to protect me from him, keep me safe from my own fucking father. I’d laugh if I hadn’t been living the reality for my whole life.
“Nikolai,” Sergi barks, my name a command to pay fucking attention. I pause, twisting to face him once more, Andrei shifting to the side, though not all the way, so he is still somewhat in front of me. “Don’t fuck this up. You won’t like my punishment if you do.”
His eyes drift to my men and I get his meaning loud and fucking clear. They will be the ones to suffer if I mess this up. I grit my teeth until pain shoots up the sides of my face. He knows they are a weakness of mine, that he can control me by threatening them. Fuck.
“Understood, sir. I won’t let you down,” I reply, the words burning as they leave my throat.
I wish I could just end this, but I’m not ready yet.
The party the other night allowed me to further my cause, sound out some of the bigwigs in attendance, but working with my father benefits them at the moment.
I can’t offer them anything better. I need to first make it appear he’s not worth working with, tarnish him in the eyes of these corrupt men so they want him gone.
Easier said than done when the men in power all just want more power, more money, and more influence.
None of my thoughts show on my face as I give my father a last nod and leave his office, heading to my wing where we can talk without fear of someone listening in.
My steps falter when I pass by her room, her scent of honey and cocoa tickling my nose as if she’s just waiting on the other side of the door.
I’m fucking glad she isn’t. The hell she lived while she was here is something that I will never forgive myself for.
Yet having her close after so long of having to be apart was the light of my day, and it makes me a bastard, but fuck do I miss her and some days wish she was here with me.
Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so fucking cold, so dead inside.
Heaving a sigh, I carry on past her door and walk into my room, Andrei shutting and locking the door behind him and Dima. I stand in the middle of the room, just breathing. The walls feel so close, my mind swirling with all the things that I need to somehow sort out but don’t know how yet.
The others leave me alone, knowing that when I get like this, I need space, time, and silence to bring together my thoughts.
“I have to warn Hunter. I can’t be responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocents,” I muse aloud, knowing that the stain on my soul is already too dark.
It can’t take something like that on top of all the other atrocities I’ve had to commit at the command of my father.
“And if we can somehow use it to discredit him, without him knowing it was me or us that let the information slip, it might go some way to convincing his associates that he’s no longer capable of running the Bratva.
We need to make them want to get rid of him so there is no backlash when the time comes for me to take his place. ”
“We need to make your father think that one of his men is a rat, betraying him and leaking intel to the feds and the press. They were in the room just then. It wouldn’t take much to cast suspicion on one of them.
Sergi is paranoid as fuck,” Andrei adds, and I’m nodding, a spark of something making my pulse quicken.
“So we make it seem that one of them is tipping off the Shadows and the pigs, but I think we still need to blow up their club so that he doesn’t think it’s me and punish you,” I tell them, bitterness coating my tongue.
Hunter is going to fucking kill me, but we all have to play games, and this will be worth it in the long run.
I have to believe that, otherwise I’ll go fucking mad.
“Or…” I trail off, my mind whirring. “Or we make out that one of his men is ratting us out to the Volkovs, who’ve wanted to take London for themselves for a long fucking time.
We set it up so it looks like the Volkovs are setting us up, making out like the Embassy is involved too, which will piss them off as they don’t want any public connection with us. ”
I’m nodding, the threads weaving into a complicated tapestry, all leading to my father’s eventual downfall and removal from this earth. Only then will Iris be safe. Only then will I be free.
I’ve thought about just taking Sergi out, myself with him, but it seems I’m more like my father than I’d like to admit, because now that I know what having Iris feels like, I’m desperate to make that a full-time reality.
I need her in my life like I need air, and if I’m gone, even without my father around anymore, how will I make sure she’s fully protected in this dark and dangerous world?
Sure, the Shadows care for her. Who am I kidding?
They love her as much as I do. I’m not fucking stupid.
I can see by the way they look at her, the way losing her was like an open wound, refusing to heal.
She belongs to them as much as she belongs to me, and I might not like it—the idea of having to share her with Hunter especially makes me violent—however, when I vowed to do anything to make her happy and keep her safe, it was not an empty promise.
To fulfil it though, I need to be alive. I’m the only one I trust to keep her truly safe, even if I failed when she was here. I refuse to fail her again.
“I’ll send Hunter a message.”