10. Chapter 10
Chapter 10
I sabel woke feeling like she’d been run over by a horse. She groaned as she shifted beneath the blankets, her body one giant ache. Blankets. She was in a bed. Her eyes snapped open.
“You’re finally awake,” a familiar voice spoke beside her.
Isabel sat up and winced at the sharp pounding in her skull. Karim was sitting on a plush velvet chair next to the bed she was nestled in, still dressed in the leather tunic and black boots he’d been given in Rendra. He looked like he’d washed and shaved, the black stubble that had shadowed his jaw the last few days suddenly gone.
It took her a moment to recognize the room as the one that Karim had been assigned when they’d first arrived at the citadel. The ornate four-poster bed stretched above her, and she could see the brilliance of the mountains through the window behind his chair. The sky was blue—no longer the hazy gray it had been when she’d slumped into sleep.
“How long was I out?” she asked.
One of Karim’s arms was thrown nonchalantly over the chair back. “Two days.”
“Two days?” She gaped at him.
“Yes. I knew you’d come to eventually. You always have.” He said it lightly, but Isabel could detect the worry in his voice.
The memory of the power that had raged through her returned in a rush—the way her body had burned, as if she would break apart. Then her shadows as they’d poured through the spaces left by Gustav’s door, and the way she’d stumbled forward and collapsed into Karim’s arms. Again.
“Why does this never happen to you?” she asked. “Aren’t you expending magic when we work together too?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You seem to be a conduit somehow. My magic just amplifies everything.”
Amplifies. That was an understatement.
“So, I’m the one who has to pay for it?” she grumbled.
He grinned. “I don’t know. I’d give anything for a two-day nap. ”
She raised her pillow as if to toss it at him. Suddenly, the realization that she was sitting in a bed, staring at him, caught up to her, and her cheeks flamed. He must have been the one to bring her here and keep watch over her for two long days and nights. There were bags under his eyes, and she wondered how much sleep he’d gotten. A confusing mix of emotions surged in her at the thought.
She could hear men moving around outside the door, and she realized that the Inetians must still be here too. They’d turned on Gustav. It had only been because of them that she and Karim had stood a chance.
Her stomach growled. “I should probably eat something,” she said.
“I can bring something in here for you,” Karim said. “This place has a lot of provisions. Unsurprising for a royal fortress.”
“It’s all right,” Isabel said hurriedly. “I can get up and find something. I’m not a complete invalid.”
“Are you sure? What you need is rest,” he said pointedly.
“I just slept for two days, Karim.”
“You did.”
“And believe me, walking around will be better for me than just sitting here.”
“Will it? ”
She shot him another look. “Otherwise, I might have to burn energy by shoving your own dagger somewhere you probably wouldn’t like.”
He snorted. “Fine, then.” He motioned for the door. “Let’s go.”
She hesitated a moment, glancing down at her tunic and leggings—the same ones she’d been wearing two days ago. “Let me just wash up a little first.”
“Oh, right,” he said, jumping to his feet. “There’s a washbasin in the corner. And if you check the drawers in the chest there might be some fresh clothes. They might be a little big, but it’s better than nothing. I’ll go to the kitchen and see what I can find.” He made his way to the door.
“Karim,” she said. He paused and turned to look at her, his wavy hair falling across his eyes. He reached up and pushed it to the side. Her heart gave a sudden thump. “Thank you,” she said.
His gaze softened. “I really am glad you’re awake.” He turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Isabel sat back, savoring the warmth and stillness. Another confusing mix of emotions washed over her when she noticed Karim’s wards wrapping securely around the room .
She had to get out of bed and face whatever was waiting for her out there—the Inetians and their fall out with Gustav, Karim and his idealistic words that had made them stay. They couldn’t stay in Rendra. They were wanted. And Rendra couldn’t risk its alliances by harboring them. But that didn’t mean Isabel couldn’t help them, that she couldn’t turn a blind eye to what they were doing now.
She dragged herself out of bed, her bare feet sinking into the ornate rug on the cold stone floor. She splashed her face with water from the basin in the corner and did her best to clean herself. She opened the top drawer of the chest skeptically and pulled out a faded blue tunic and white leggings that wouldn’t be so bad with a belt cinched around her waist. They would have to do until she could get back down to Medina Acil.
She emerged from the room a little while later, feeling a little less gross. Her stomach gave another enormous growl as she padded along the hallway, trying to remember where the kitchen was.
She pushed open a wide, ornately carved wooden door on the other side of the courtyard and stepped inside. A few of the Inetians were gathered around a long table by the window, and Isabel was struck again by how young most of them were. Heads turned as she entered .
“She wakes!” one of the men cried, raising a tankard of ale in her direction.
The rest of the men gave a hearty cheer, and Isabel gaped at them, heat flooding her cheeks. Karim appeared from around the corner, his eyes twinkling.
The Inetians pulled out a chair and waved for her to have a seat. She slid into the open chair, and Karim pushed a bowl of warm stew across to her while another of the men handed her a spoon. Isabel hardly waited a moment before she was eating, shoveling the food in more quickly than she’d intended. The banquet in Medina Acil felt like it had happened weeks ago, not just days.
“How did it feel to wield shadow like that?” one of the men asked, leaning forward curiously. “I’ve never seen Gustav so pale!” A few of the men laughed.
“You’re our hero, you know.” Another man grinned.
“A hero?” Isabel arched a brow. “I don’t know about that.”
“You made that asshole turn his back and flee,” the man said. “Best thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Come on, you lot. Give her some space,” Karim said as he slid into the open seat beside her. “She’s had a rough few days. ”
“We’ve all had a rough few days,” the man who had toasted her when she first arrived said, taking another swig of his ale.
“More like a rough few months,” another man grunted. The men sobered.
Isabel’s chest squeezed. These men had had lives, families, homes, they’d left behind in Ineti. The likelihood of them ever returning was very low. And now they would have to go to another new place, on the run once again. Forever.
“Well, we’re free of that bastard now,” the first man said. “I’ll take that any day.”
As she ate her stew, she learned that after Gustav had escaped and she’d collapsed, the men had worked to clean up the mess left behind—namely the bodies of Luca and Ankar. They’d decided to stay in the citadel to gather their bearings and decide what to do next. The wards may have been destroyed, but the stone walls of the citadel and the rocky crags of the mountains remained as a safeguard.
Paarsav stepped into the kitchen and stood near the door. His face was drawn and tired, as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. The group quieted immediately, and a band of tension tightened over the space .
“I’m glad to see you’re finally awake,” Paarsav said, nodding at Isabel. “And it’s good to finally meet under less . . . tense circumstances.” He glanced at Karim. “Karim tells me you’ve been an immense help to him.”
Isabel’s cheeks warmed. “I suppose so,” she said.
“I’d say rescuing me twice counts as helpful,” Karim said. His knee touched hers briefly beneath the table and stayed there. She didn’t move hers away.
“Karim, I need a word,” Paarsav said.
Karim nodded and stood up, then followed Paarsav out into the hall.
“What was that all about?” she asked the men.
The man who had toasted her when she’d first walked in pressed his lips together. “The two of them have been at odds since Gustav disappeared. Paarsav wanted us to be out of here the moment things settled down. Karim insisted we waited until you woke up. We were all exhausted anyway. It didn’t make sense to drive ourselves into the ground.” He nodded at her. “And now that you have woken up . . . well, we’ll see.”
We. Of course, Karim was going with the Inetians. It only made sense. He was on the run, just as they were. He had the protection of the Rendran crown, but Rendra couldn’t hide him forever. If he were ever discovered, the queen would have no choice but to give him up. And Karim knew that as well as Isabel did.
Isabel stirred her spoon through the half-eaten stew. It suddenly didn’t look as appetizing as it had before.
The men continued to cajole each other, laughing and talking with more enthusiasm than she’d expected from people who had just been through the kind of dark abyss they had. But this was also the most freedom they’d had in months, and compared to the Mediran prison, she was sure it felt like paradise.
She finished her bowl of stew and excused herself, leaving the men to their ale.
Karim was walking back down the hall when she left the kitchen, glowering with frustration. He smiled when he saw her, and his face cleared slightly.
“What did Paarsav want?” Isabel asked as he reached her.
Karim sighed, glancing around them. A few of the men were leaving the kitchen now, heading toward the courtyard. “I— Let’s go somewhere else before we get into any of this.”
She fell into step beside him as they made their way through the circular hallway, then up the curving stone steps and into the grand hall at the top of the citadel. The walls curved elegantly to match the half-circle shape of the tower, and the floor was tiled with white and blue marble. Isabel shuddered. The last time she’d been there, it had been teeming with darkness and rage and power. A strange dissonance still hung in the air in the place Gustav had disappeared.
Karim led her through the hall to the balcony that overlooked the courtyard, their steps echoing as they walked. The mountains spread out below them in breathtaking splendor, and out in the distance, Isabel could see the snowcapped peaks of the Malathi pass on the border of Rendra and Medira. The sun still lingered high above the horizon, and a brilliant sapphire sky spread out above them.
Karim leaned back against a stone pillar, a soft breeze rustling his hair. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes for a moment. He looked immeasurably tired. He let out a soft breath, and her heart gave a sudden thump as their eyes met. She was suddenly terrified of what he was going to say.
“Sorry,” he said, smile pulling at his lips. “I didn’t want to be overheard. Things haven’t been particularly pleasant around here.”
“I’ve noticed,” she said.
“Paarsav and I do not agree on several things. He has no qualms continuing to use the type of magic we learned in the Sorothi enclave, despite its dangers. ”
Isabel looked at him in the light of the midday sun, at the lines of tiredness that played around his lips and eyes. She understood his frustration, his reluctance after what had happened in the Sorothi enclave. But she could also understand Paarsav’s stance. The Inetians couldn’t stay in Rendra. They had to leave, to get somewhere as far away as possible to start a new life for themselves. And opening a door, using the power of the Sorothi chanters, was the best way to do that quickly, without leaving a trace.
“They aren’t Gustav, Karim,” she said softly.
Karim let out a breath. “I know,” he said. “I know. I just—I can’t do it. Knowing what can happen.” Pain flashed across his face, and Isabel knew he was thinking of his brother. It hadn’t been all that long since the accident had happened. The pain was still raw—a fresh wound. And Isabel knew from experience that time didn’t always make the pain go away.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to either, in your position.”
He met her gaze then, and there was a softness in his eyes that made her want to reach out and touch him. She wrapped her arms around herself, letting her eyes wander back out to the mountains. “So, you think we’re safe from Gustav, then? ”
He nodded. “Gustav’s not likely to come after any of us. At least, not any time soon. He’s powerful, but not powerful enough to take on all of us alone. He’s better off starting over, finding other ways to procure the information he wants.”
Isabel didn’t want to think about him popping up again any time soon. But she also didn’t doubt that he would—she just hoped that wherever he landed, someone would be equipped to stop him again.
“Paarsav’s plan is to open a door somewhere far away, deep into Elanar or even into Zhonghua,” Karim said. “Somewhere Ineti won’t bother to come looking. He wants to start a new life there.” He paused, a shadow darkening his face. “We all know we can never go home.”
There was nothing she could say to that—nothing she could do to make any of it better for him.
He gave her a sad smile. “I came to terms with that a while ago.”
“But it doesn’t make it any easier.”
He shook his head. “No, it doesn’t.”
They were quiet for a moment, staring out into the shining mountains. Isabel’s heart squeezed again. She knew what had to happen next. No matter his differences with Paarsav, he would go with them. They were his one remaining link to home .
And she . . . she would go back to Rendra, back to Cassandra and the queen and her life in the palace.
For a moment, she thought about what it might be like to go with Karim, to step out into the great big world with someone else at her side. What it would feel like to always be able to laugh with him, to curl up with him on cold nights, to have his arms around her, to run her fingers through his hair and— She swallowed and pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they’d come. She didn’t get those kinds of endings.
“You—you’re going to go with them,” she said before she lost her nerve. “You’re their best hope for survival out here, Karim.”
“Am I?” he said.
“You understand what they’ve been through,” she rushed on. “You have more power than any of them do. They need you.”
His jaw worked as she spoke. Her heart thundered painfully in her chest.
“I just—” she started, then stopped, searching desperately for the right words. “I just don’t want you to be alone again, Karim. They’re your people. From your homeland. And you can’t return there. You belong with them.”
“And what about you?” he said stiffly.
“What about me?” She avoided his gaze .
“You’re going to go back to Rendra, to that palace, and forget about all this? About your power? You’re just going to live life exactly as you did before you—” He broke off and ran a hand distractedly through his hair.
“I don’t know,” she said. The ball of pain in her chest tightened.
“Tell me that that’s really what you want, Isabel,” he said.
Her mind settled on her small room in the palace at Rendra with its warm comforter, narrow desk, and tall window that looked out over the practice yard. Her nights nestled there alone as she mapped out her next job for the queen, trying hard not to think about her sister, about her magic. And the many nights on the road, sleeping with one eye open, always watching her back.
It had been a life. Far better than the existence she’d been eking out before Cassandra.
But now, Karim was standing in front of her, so close, his eyes vibrant and filled with desire and want and hope, and she couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Because she did want another kind of life. She wanted him.
Karim let out a breath. “I’m not going to let you do this again, Isabel,” he said, his voice low, raw, rasping with emotion. “I have no one. We both have no one. And the one person I do want to have is you. ”
Her head snapped up, and her body flared with heat. Had she heard him correctly?
His eyes were wide, wild almost, and she could sense the frustration radiating off him. “Not them. Not anyone else. You.”
Isabel swallowed; her heart pounded a painful rhythm against her ribcage. “But how would that even work, Karim?” She hated the way her voice sounded—so small and desperate and scared. “I work for the Rendran queen’s shadow. I’ve sworn to protect the crown.”
“So, we do it together,” he said vehemently. “I already have the queen’s protection. We find a way to make Rendra safe. We find out what our magic can truly do. We find a way to use it to better the world, not to harm it.”
She wanted so badly to believe in that reality. She wanted so badly to believe that it could exist.
“What about Paarsav and the others?” she asked.
“They’re strong.” Karim’s gaze was unwavering. “They don’t need me.”
Her mind reeled, fear and want warring in her chest. “What if someone comes for you?” she whispered.
“Then we run.”
There was so much surety in his voice, so much confidence in his stance, so incredibly certain that everything would work out, that everything would be okay. The way she had never been able to believe it would be.
“Isabel,” he said. “It’s not about the things that might happen. It’s about making a choice. And I’ve made so many bad ones in my life. But they’ve brought me here. To you. You’re my one good choice.”
Her blood rushed wildly through her veins. A choice. She had always had a choice—like she’d had when she’d faced off against Gustav in the hall of the citadel. She’d always been able to choose to be more than what the village women had claimed she was. She wasn’t a thing of darkness and shadow. She was Isabel. And she could choose to have the kind of life she wanted.
She didn’t have to be afraid.
Her heart expanded suddenly with hope and light, chasing away the shadows that had huddled there for so long. Her fingers shook as she closed the final distance between them, not allowing herself to think anymore.
His eyes widened, and then his arms were around her, and he was whispering her name, his body like fire against her own. Her fingers dug into the soft fabric of his tunic, and then his mouth was on hers, soft and gentle and full of want, and she was once again shadow and flame brightness, all at once exactly what she had always been meant to be. Her arms slid around his neck, grasping at his hair and his tunic and his back, pulling him closer, as if she were dying of thirst. His hands slid down her body, and a shiver split through her at his touch.
Time passed in a slow cascade, and when he pulled back, Isabel could hardly remember where they were. His eyes were glazed, and a lazy, satisfied grin wandered across his mouth. Isabel wanted nothing more than to drag him back against her and never stop kissing him.
“Was that a decision?” he murmured, his breath soft against her cheek. His thumb trailed gently along her collar bone, and she felt it like a shock wave down to her toes.
“I don’t know,” she breathed, her fingers tracing the soft skin at the back of his neck. “We might need to try that again, so I can be sure.”
“Right.” His forehead dipped to rest against hers, and she could feel his smile against her lips. “Just to be sure.”
Another while later, she was the one to pull away.
“We’ll make our way back to the Rendran palace, then?” she said. His hands slid along the curve of her waist, and he kissed the soft space below her ear. She suddenly forgot what she’d been about to say.
He pulled back, a wicked grin on his face. “We will,” he said. “Eventually.”
“Eventually,” she echoed, leaning into him. “No need to hurry.”
“None at all,” he murmured, and then he was kissing her again on the balcony of the Rendran citadel, the broken wards of the old mages crackling around them, and despite the host of unknowns that lay ahead, Isabel had never felt more wholly sure that tomorrow would dawn brighter than it had before.
***
A few hours later, Isabel stood at the top of the citadel with Karim as the sun dipped below the horizon, their hands twined tightly together. Below, in the courtyard, Paarsav and the remaining nine Inetians began to chant, their voices joining with the flickering remains of the old wards. A thin line of light split the air above the place where Carlos Luca had died, spreading outward as the door opened, shimmering faintly in the fading light. One by one, the men stepped through the door, disappearing to a location only Paarsav knew, somewhere far from the citadel, and far, far from the land they had once called home.
Finally, Paarsav was the only one remaining. He looked up to where Karim and Isabel stood on the balcony and gave them a final nod. Karim’s shoulders tensed as the Inetian turned and stepped through the door—the last real connection he had to home, to the life he’d once known. A few moments later, the door flickered closed—softly, quietly—leaving no trace of the Inetians behind.
Beside her, Karim let out a breath, then reached over and pulled her back against him. She leaned into him, allowing his warmth to wrap around her as he buried his face in her neck.
They had a long road before them still—one of discovery, of finding where they fit in the world, of learning of their magic and how they could use it to change the world for good.
Isabel wrapped her fingers around Karim’s where they rested at her waist. For once she was no longer alone. And the world was no longer as shadowed as it had once been. Because they would face it together.
And that was enough.