Tobias #3
“Our people are happy, especially now that our borders are open to the rest of the realm.” Quinn gave a casual shrug. “There’s been a flurry of curious outsiders. Tobias has been busy.”
Her eyes darted to mine, the only tell of her partial truth.
Most of my job was signing approvals and sitting in on the occasional meeting, intentionally keeping myself at a distance from the hum of real life and the crowds that set my nerves on edge.
“Busy” was technically true, but it hardly captured my self-imposed isolation.
The Solearan senate on which Pari, Akeno, and Thorin sat had done a perfectly good job of running the city without me, and I had no desire to throw my weight around. I may have been a figurehead, but magical or not, paperwork was still the way of the world to my eternal chagrin.
“And you deserve all the credit for the warmth of their welcome,” I said quietly.
My praise was met with a slow smile and a hint of a blush on Quinn’s cheeks. Eva’s eyes narrowed as she slowly looked between us.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised when Quinn returned to Soleara after the war.
It had been her home once too, after all.
Even so, I had expected her to stay with Eva in Morehaven in the aftermath of everything.
Instead, she had shown up one day, dropped off her things at the room down the hall from me, and gotten straight to work.
I may have been king, but she was the leader Soleara needed, the main ambassador to the foreign dignitaries that arrived to discuss trade, and an advocate for those who needed it.
She had been the one to push to allow tourism now that Soleara was no longer a secret, though Pari had been quick to echo the motion at the ensuing senate meeting.
And she had been the one to ensure that transition had run smoothly, despite her own projects and endeavors.
Sometimes I wondered if there was anything she couldn’t do—and who exactly was taking care of her while she was taking care of everyone else.
“Tobias?”
Eva had a strange look on her face, like that hadn’t been the first time she said my name. I realized I had been staring too long—at Quinn, who was staring back at me with wide eyes.
I cleared my throat, turning to my twin. “So, do I need to give you away?”
Eva scrunched her nose. “Nothing quite so mortal. But I was hoping to have both of you up there with me. Rivan, Yael, and Marin will be standing up there with us too.”
“Of course we will,” Quinn said immediately.
I wasn’t going to read into that ‘we’.
Quickly, I nodded my agreement even as I fought to keep my face neutral.
Quinn wasn’t interested in me like that.
She had never shown the slightest sign of wanting anything beyond friendship in all the years we had known each other.
And even if she finally noticed the unrequited feelings I had tried and failed to suppress since I was a teenager…
I was a mess. My first thought wasn’t whether my answer to my sister was yes, but if the ceremony was going to be held outdoors.
Because if it was and thousands of onlookers were there to witness my terror at simply standing beneath the sky…
If I could pull myself together long enough to fight a war, I could do it for one event. Though there was something different about focusing on my revenge and my sister’s imminent survival. It had been easier to let my rage propel me forward while disassociating from the rest.
This was an entirely different type of battle. One I couldn’t avoid without making everyone more worried about me than they already were.
Eva and Quinn continued discussing the ceremony as I shuffled along beside them, nodding when necessary. At least Quinn would be at my side tomorrow. Though having her next to me during what was likely to be a very romantic bonding ceremony would be excruciating in a different way.
I hadn’t been able to avoid the ache in my chest now that she was back in my life or the way my tongue tied when I was around her even worse than it usually did.
The excruciating mix of guilt and longing I felt from the moment I first saw her again had completely overwhelmed me.
It had been an effort to hide it away, even after so long doing so.
Like Eva, I had kept Quinn locked away deep in my mind, my heart, so Aviel hadn’t known to use her against me…
She was safe. I hadn’t broken. And I hadn’t endangered the lives and well-being of the two most important people in my life despite abandoning them.
But having her back in my life…it was unbearable.
I heard her laughter echoing up to my room from the planning sessions she ran in my kitchen, could see her curls bouncing around the corner as I watched her return to her bedroom, wafting the sweet scent of her with them.
Her room was so close to mine I half wondered if my dreams about her would lead my feet down our shared hallway and raise my arm to knock…
I would never deserve her, not even if I did the work to put myself back together, but there was no denying the fact that Quinn had broken out of the cell that held her, and I didn’t know how to put her back in.