Quinn
Tobias was waiting for me outside my door by the time I got ready, two steaming mugs in hand. He silently gave me one, his face so impassive I wondered if this morning had been a dream. I took a small sip, then let out a hum of satisfaction that brought a flush to his cheeks.
At least the Tobias I knew was still in there, somewhere, no matter how hard he tried to hide himself away.
Black tea, honey, and a splash of cream. Maybe I should have been surprised he knew exactly how I liked my morning tea, but I wasn’t. Instead, I was thankful the blush that tinged his tanned skin couldn’t be hidden behind his mask.
“Thanks,” I breathed. “This is exactly how I take it.”
He lifted a shoulder in a small shrug. “Anyone who’s paying attention would know.”
“And you were paying attention.”
It wasn’t a question. That blush deepened.
I took pity on him and walked past him to the joint living space.
Rivan’s and Pari’s doors were ajar, as well as a third that had been readied for Yael.
The bed was unmade—she must have arrived late last night.
All three were already gone. I wondered idly if any of them had noticed my unused bed…
or heard me tiptoe from Tobias’s room to my own before they left.
Tobias took a gulp of his own tea before finally saying, “I figured you wouldn’t want to waste any time this morning.”
“You thought right,” I confirmed as I took a seat at the dining table.
Two warm croissants sat in a basket on the table next to a bowl of fruit and a plate piled high with steaming eggs. I set my mug beside me before scarfing down the croissant. It was delicious, but I didn’t have time to savor it.
The lab would open soon, and getting there even a minute late wasn’t happening. Not when Eva needed me. If it wasn’t for the cleaning cycle and the need to recuperate my magic, I doubted even Tobias would have been able to drag me away for the night.
My fingertips turned a familiar blue, as if my magic, too, was raring to go.
Tobias sat next to me, swallowing a bite of breakfast before drawling, “You know, if you choke, we won’t get to the lab any faster.”
“You’ll save me,” I said dismissively.
A smile curved his lips—gone so quickly I might have imagined it.
As I started on the eggs, Tobias passed me the seahorse-shaped pepper shaker before I could ask. We ate in a comfortable, albeit hurried silence.
I took him in as I ate. It was strange seeing him clothed in something other than his usual black, though the hint of color hardly softened him.
To my utter delight, our hosts had provided us both with closets full of weather-appropriate attire.
The tan linen of his short-sleeved shirt hugged the bulge of his biceps, its threads straining to contain his muscles as he reached for some fruit.
I was used to the severe long-sleeved shirts he favored in Soleara, but the vee of his borrowed shirt exposed a tantalizing glimpse of his chest hair that I was far too grateful for.
My eyes snagged on the stark white lines encircling his wrists, darting away before he could notice my attention. Was that the reason he usually wore sleeves? I hadn’t thought about it, not when Eva bore matching marks, but there was a quiet vulnerability in this simple change of attire.
A brown belt wrapped around his narrow waist, his dagger already affixed to the soft leather. His pants showed off the powerful muscle of his thighs, especially with the way one ankle rested on the opposite knee.
I glanced back up guilty as I realized I was openly ogling him.
But when I did, I found it was Tobias who was watching me—his stare tracing the lines of my legs where they were exposed through a slit in my skirt. My skin grew hotter where his eyes touched, the openness on his face startling in comparison to his usual purposefully blank expression.
My outfit today was cute but comfortable, the short, sleeveless top revealing a sliver of skin over the matching skirt.
Subtle embroidery decorated the scalloped edges of my neckline as well as the entire length of the skirt.
It may be going under a lab coat soon, but I couldn’t resist the pale yellow—it perfectly matched the sunflower amulet resting just above the dip of my sweetheart neckline.
Tobias’s eyes rose slowly, his tongue darting out to lick a crumb off his lower lip. My breath caught in my throat as our gazes finally met. He immediately looked away, but that telltale blush darkened his cheeks as he got to his feet.
I palmed an orange from the bowl, then tossed a second to Tobias as I stood. He caught it without looking.
“Let’s get to it then,” I said as I dropped mine into my satchel.
Tobias let out an unintelligible grumble but beat me to the door to open it.
After dating my share of men in the human realm, it was refreshing to remember gentlemen still existed…
or whatever the fae version of that was.
I smiled up at him as I passed through the threshold, trying to coax a smile in return, though without any luck.
We walked side by side down the hallway.
I noticed Tobias kept a careful distance from me, except whenever we passed someone else.
Though most were dressed in the thin robes the healers all wore, this realm’s version of scrubs or lab coats, Tobias eyed them all like they might attack at any moment.
It didn’t go unnoticed that he casually placed himself in between everyone else and me like my own personal bodyguard.
Nor did the way he tensed when he saw the iron door leading to the lab. His face showed nothing, but his body went so taut he could have been made of stone. The light faded from his eyes until they were as closed off as the rest of him.
And it was this utter lack of emotion, the way his expression shuttered like he was reliving a moment so awful he couldn’t allow it to escape, that made me take his hand.
Tobias’s gaze jerked to mine as soon as our skin touched. A flurry of emotions played across his face in rapid succession—fear and anger, grief and rage, heartbreak, and something like longing. My hand squeezed his, only for my magic to flare to attention as he winced in response.
I turned his hand over. Four circular red marks were burned into his palm. Horrified realization crashed into me as I stared at the burns.
He had inflicted these on himself. The blue glow of my healing magic washed over the marks like a wave.
“What the hell, Maris?” My sharp voice echoed down the hallway, but I was too worried to care if anyone else overheard. “Were you trying to hurt yourself?”
Tobias slid his hands into his pockets as if to hide the evidence. “My magic tends to try to find a way out. Better than b-burning the carpet,” he stuttered before a look of distaste flitted across his features.
For a split second, I saw red at the callous dismissal of his own pain. In what universe did he think his discomfort mattered so little? That any level of pain was an acceptable alternative?
I could feel myself shaking, as I asked, more softly this time, “Does this happen a lot?”
He wouldn’t meet my eyes, though his silence was answer enough.
“With more powerful magics, I’ve read that it can help to release it more frequently.” I took a deep breath, thinking through the texts I had read on Celestial magic. “When you use your light, is it always heated?”
He let out a sound between a laugh and a scoff. “Of course you would have an answer from a book. It’s fine, Sagray.”
“It’s not,” I protested. But then it struck me…
When was the last time I saw him use magic?
He used it to fight beside me in Adronix, but ever since…
I hadn’t seen him consciously use it once. Not in Soleara, not in Morehaven despite Silvius’s underground laboratory and the shadowy stairway to get there. Not here in Mayim though we had been together day and night.
Why hadn’t he…
“I’ll be more careful.” The words were clipped and completely unfeeling. “You don’t have to worry.”
“Don’t placate me,” I snapped. “And please, don’t lie to my face. I know you—”
“No, you knew me.”
It might’ve hurt less if he had slapped me.
“What’s the matter, Tobias?” The anger in my voice was palpable. “Did you realize that you were finally letting someone in and got scared?”
After last night, I thought we had reached a place where he felt safe being open with me. That maybe he was starting to trust me again.
Apparently, I was wrong.
Tobias sucked in a breath like he was about to speak—
Dolion opened the iron door, and Tobias’s mouth snapped shut.
I scowled at him, making sure Tobias knew we weren’t done. But he had retreated so far into himself it was like glaring at a statue.
Dolion gestured for us to enter. “Let’s get started. My time is valuable, you know.”
We had gotten here right on time…though we had spent the extra minute arguing outside the door.
My shoulders slumped slightly at the rebuke.
I was well aware of Dolion’s type—the scientist so sure of their brilliance and so focused on their work that they lacked a certain social decorum.
Though from the warmth of his letters, I hadn’t expected it from him.
I also didn’t miss the way he pointedly ignored Tobias as he gestured at me to follow.
“Tobias and I were talking about antiviral options last night.” I glanced at my stone-faced companion before I looked back to Dolion.
“If we’re going to target the structural proteins, I have a few mortal methods that might help.
But I wanted to talk to you more about the magical component before we get started. ”