Chapter 5
No one had to tell Chloe that Sheriff Nathaniel Cross didn’t trust her.
Oh, he never came right out and said it in as many words, but she’d been looked at like that so many times before that she didn’t even question it.
He didn’t appear exactly suspicious of her, but she could tell by the sometimes long, silent stares and slightly pursed lips that he didn’t quite know what to make of her.
She sat on the edge of the bed, hand lifted to her head just behind her temple, fingering the injury there.
The steady throb of pain reminded her constantly of the stagecoach accident three days ago.
Grateful that she hadn’t broken any bones, she nevertheless felt increasingly anxious.
The longer she spent time at the boarding house the greater chance of the sheriff learning who she really was.
Even so, with every day that passed, her worries about Eliza grew.
She knew the rationale behind that was flawed.
She’d been separated from Eliza for six years.
What difference was a few days or a few weeks more?
She couldn’t explain it herself, but the overwhelming desire to find her daughter and …
And what? Warm tears blurred her vision as she gazed down at her hands folded in her lap, trying to gather the courage to get up and walk out of the room and join the family at the table as she had been invited like any other boarder.
“You’re being a fool,” she muttered. “You can’t just find Eliza and make sure she’s all right.
You know you’ll want more than that.” A tear dribbled down her cheek and she angrily swept it away, then looked up at the ceiling.
“God, why is this happening? Why has any of it happened? I thought You were supposed to look after us, but I’ve been lost and alone my entire life. Where have You been?”
A soft knock at the door startled her and she turned toward it. While she hadn’t actually been expecting an answer from God, the timing was impeccable. “Come in.”
Lillian poked her head into the room, glanced at Chloe sitting on the bed and lifted an eyebrow. “Did you change your mind about coming down to join us for supper?”
Yes. No. Chloe struggled internally with a myriad of emotions, then stiffened her back and gave the young woman, one who she thought might become a friend, a small smile. “Just working up my courage.”
Lillian stepped into the room and closed the door softly behind her before leaning against it.
“You don’t need any courage to dine with us, Chloe,” she said softly.
“I know you’ve experienced quite a scare, but you’re all right, for the most part.
” She winced. “I can imagine you’ve still got quite a headache banging around inside your skull, don’t you? ”
“It could’ve been worse,” Chloe said, unconsciously lifting a hand to again touch the still swollen and tender spot.
Her fingers lightly traced along the healing gash and the several stiches the doctor had sewn.
She carefully stood. Sometimes if she got up or moved or even turned around too quickly, dizziness overcame her.
Yesterday evening, after the sheriff had knocked once and entered through her half-open door and stepped into her room to collect her supper tray, she’d risen from the chair she’d been sitting in by the window so quickly that the room spun crazily around her.
Her knees had wobbled and she started to topple.
She’d reached for anything to break the fall when there he was, standing beside her, bracing her with his body, an arm snaking around her waist to hold her up.
She’d been embarrassed and confused by her reaction at the same time.
It wasn’t just his strength and support.
Even though rather gruff at times, he seemed to always be there for her when she needed help.
Such a presence might seem like such a small thing to most people, but to her it was so unusual, so strange to have someone watching out for her.
She’d been on her own most of her life, making acquaintances, working here and there, but never, not once, had she ever had anyone that she could count on, not completely. Well, except for Maggie, but this was different.
Not that Sheriff Nathaniel Cross was someone she intended on becoming closely acquainted with. Oh no, that wouldn’t do. At the same time, and in spite of his long silences and quiet looks, she found herself feeling safe with his calm presence.
Even though he didn’t seem to quite trust her, he was ready to support her, to allow her to stay at the boarding house with his mother and sister, helping out while at the same time earning room and board as well as a dollar a week for her help until she felt ready to move on.
“I know it’s bothering you,” Lillian said softly. Her head tilted at a slight angle and her eyes twinkled as she gazed at Chloe. “It happens a lot around here, especially to people who don’t come into town very often.”
Chloe glanced at Lillian with alarm. Could the young woman read minds? “What?”
“It’s Nathaniel, isn’t it?” Lillian laughed softly.
“He has that effect on people. Oh, I know he’s the sheriff and he’s serious all the time and tends to grumble and glower and stare a lot, but really, Chloe, he’s always been like that.
He doesn’t do a lot of talking and likes to work things out in his head.
On his own.” She shrugged. “But yes, he can be a bit overbearing at times.”
That surprised Chloe. “Even toward you?”
“Of course. You know what it’s like to have a brother who can stare at you for a minute or longer without saying a word?
When you know, you just know, that he’s thinking something about you and you can’t figure out what it is?
It’s as if he can read your mind and it’s …
well, it is intimidating.” She laughed softly.
“Believe me, I know. I’ve grown up with it. Maybe I’ve just become so used to it I don’t notice it so much anymore, but I can imagine, in your case, you might feel that way.”
Chloe relaxed a little, relieved that it wasn’t just her that received that stare or silence.
“He’s been very kind, all of you have been.
But it’s not just the sheriff … Nathaniel, I mean.
” She glanced down at her folded hands and looked back up at Lillian, such a lovely, openhearted and cheerful young woman.
“It’s just that I never grew up around people who took much of an interest in me. Being raised in an orphanage is a lot different than growing up with a family. You’re very fortunate.”
The twinkle left Lillian’s eyes and she stepped into the room and sat down on the bed next to her.
“Chloe, I’m sorry, I had forgotten that you grew up in an orphanage and never really had anyone you could trust and rely on.
” She placed a hand on Chloe’s wrist. “I’d like to consider myself your friend, Chloe, even though we haven’t known each other for long. ”
Lillian’s offer both startled and comforted her. Could people become friends in such a short span of time? Wouldn’t it be nice if that were true? She made yet another confession as she turned to Lillian, admiring her openhearted kindness. “I’ve never had many friends,” she admitted.
Lillian’s eyebrows rose. “No?”
Chloe carefully and slowly shook her head.
“No.” She thought of Maggie and smiled. “Just one really, back in the Dakotas.” She paused, her memories slinking once more back into the past. “When I was younger I was quite foolish. Mistakes were made. I suppose after that I was partly to blame because it was hard for me to trust others.” That’s as much as she could manage to say.
Lillian stood, tugging at her hand. “Well, that was then. Now, in this moment in time, you have us. You have me and my brother and my mother and we count ourselves your friends. Now, let’s go down to eat before Mama starts threatening to put it away.”
Chloe couldn’t help but smile. Still, Lillian’s words kept repeating themselves as they roiled in her brain. You have me and my brother and my mother … While she didn’t deny that both Lillian and Dalia had been more than kind, she still felt uncertain about Nathaniel. After all, he was a sheriff.
She had often gone out of her way to avoid lawmen, afraid that they might somehow see the truth of her past or her unwitting association with outlaws and perhaps think she still was privy to their activities.
Fear of that was one of the reasons why she’d moved so often, in addition, of course, to worrying about Silas Crowe’s and Everett Kane’s threats of vengeance or the fear they would discover her whereabouts and make her pay for her betrayal.
“Come along, Chloe,” Lillian said, tugging her from the bed. “Mama made a wonderful chicken chili and sourdough biscuits for supper.”
Chloe followed her friend outside of the room, wondering what chicken chili was. She’d never had it before and hoped she liked it because she was very hungry. As they left the room in which she had been given, she followed Lillian down the hallway.
A slightly worn but clean runner ran the length of the hall, softening their footsteps.
She passed several closed doors on either side before they reach the landing.
Round wood balusters, the handrail, and newel posts had been painted white.
A narrow burgundy carpet runner designed with multicolored peonies scattered across its surface covered the treads of each step.
The bottom of the stairs opened into a small foyer, a dining room to the left, the kitchen behind it, and a large parlor open to the right.
She had learned from Lillian that this had been the home she and her brother had grown up in, built by their father many years ago.
After the former sheriff of Cedar Bluff had died, Dalia Cross had decided to convert their home into a boarding house to earn a living.