Chapter 9 #3
He grew quiet again, the only sounds those of the creak of the buggy wheels, the squeak of the buggy frame and the jingle of harness chains.
She had just about convinced herself to tell him everything, to confess her deepest fears, all of it, including Everett’s and Silas’s threats and their fury at her that had resulted in her leaving her child at the Lincoln county orphanage all those years ago, but before she could work up the courage, he spoke again.
“During the attempt to rob the bank, my father was shot and killed.”
She inhaled sharply and gazed at him. “I’m so sorry!”
He nodded. “Me too. A little later, after I became the town sheriff, I found out who Charlie really was. Turns out he was part of an outlaw gang causing trouble here and up into Oklahoma Territory. His real name was Silas. Silas Crowe. The leader of the gang is a man by the name of Everett Kane. Been looking for them and that gang ever since.”
It took everything that Chloe had inside her not to clap a hand over her mouth, to scramble off the buggy and run.
No, it couldn’t be … this couldn’t be happening!
Five years he’d said. What were Silas and Everett doing down in Texas five years ago?
Were they still here? She felt sick and dizzy and her stomach roiled.
Her vision grew fuzzy and then everything went white, her ears ringing.
She turned to Nathaniel, her eyes wide, no sound issuing from her throat even though she longed to scream.
Nathaniel took one look at her and pulled the buggy to a halt, reaching for her arm just before she swayed and toppled from the buggy.
“Chloe?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “What’s the matter?”
His voice sounded as if it came from a long way away. Her vision spun and her heart pounded so hard and fast it felt like it would jump out of her chest. Good Lord, no! He reached under the buggy seat and extracted a canteen. Unscrewing the lid, he pressed the lip of the canteen to her mouth.
“Drink.”
She took a sip, her body trembling so badly that water sloshed down her chin. He clasped a hand over hers, steadying her.
“Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath.”
She tried, she really did, and managed a deep, shuddering breath. Panic surged through her, a terror she hadn’t felt since that moment she’d run from the hatred in Everett’s eyes after he’d threatened his revenge.
“I … I’m all right,” she gasped. She wasn’t going to let her fear overcome her, not this time. She needed to find her daughter, and only then would she be able to figure out what to do or where to go. She turned to look up at him again. “You… you haven’t seen him since then?”
“The Blackwell gang? No, not since then.”
God, is this my punishment? To be forever haunted and hunted by my past? ‘He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust.”’
She felt tears on her cheeks and suddenly realized she was in Nathaniel’s arms, leaning into his chest as he tightened his arms around her, trying to help ease her trembling. He murmured soft words, his chin resting against the top of her head, the side of her face pressed against his chest.
“Take deep breaths, Chloe. It’s going to be all right. I know you’re scared about seeing your daughter, bringing her home with you after all these years.”
She froze. He thought she was having doubts about her daughter. Little did he know. She felt embarrassed by her weakness and fear, but at the same time relished just being held. It had been such a long time since she’d felt such support.
She got ahold of herself, took a deep breath and pushed back a little. “I … I’m better now. I just got a little overwhelmed by … everything.” He gazed at her for several moments, his eyes searching hers. It was as if he wasn’t quite sure whether to believe her or not.
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Her heart still pounded hard, but for the briefest of moments, she took comfort in his words.
“My mother and my sister, they’ll help you.”
She leaned back a little more, glanced up at his face, still eyeing her warily, her cheeks hot as she nodded.
She couldn’t find any words, so simply nodded.
After another few seconds, he reached for the reins and urged the horse onward.
She sat stunned and without words. Silas and Everett had made their way down into the Texas Panhandle after their prison escape.
It must’ve been shortly after that that they’d tried to rob the bank in Cedar Bluff and killed Nathaniel’s father. Lillian’s father. Dalia’s husband.
Oh Lord Jesus, what was she supposed to do now? God, why are you doing this to me? Am I to be damned forever for what I did all those years ago? Is this my punishment?
Her mouth dry, she shook her head. She didn’t know what to do. She almost blurted the rest of her truth out, but at that moment, the orphanage came into view. No children were in the yard.
Her daughter was inside, she knew it. Though she knew she should tell Nathaniel the rest of it, she didn’t dare. She’d convinced herself that once the truth were known, none of them would want anything to do with her or the daughter of the outlaw who had murdered their loved one.