Chapter 13 #2
She kept shaking her head. “I don’t know anything about where he is now.” That was true.
His voice softened. “Chloe, you don’t want to live in fear for the rest of your life, do you? Especially not now that you’ve got Eliza back.”
No, she didn’t, but chances were she would likely have to spend the rest of her life glancing over her shoulder. She’d tried to bury her fear of Everett, to varying degrees of success. She hadn’t laid eyes on him in seven years. Perhaps he’d forgotten about her. Then again, maybe he hadn’t.
“Chloe?”
She couldn’t tell him that the man she’d married, the one she was so afraid of, the man who was Eliza’s father, was the same man that had been involved with the death of Nathaniel’s father.
She couldn’t. If he found out, he and his family would never forgive her.
They would despise her. Her husband and Silas had murdered Nathaniel and Lillian’s father and Dalia’s husband. How could it go any other way?
“Chloe, I know that it must be difficult, but don’t you think it’s important that we know? Not only for your sake, but for the sake of others? If he’s still alive and breaking the law, don’t you think it’s our responsibility to do what we can to stop him?”
She turned away from Nathaniel, blinking back tears. She didn’t want that responsibility on her shoulders. She slowly shook her head and looked up at him. “You don’t understand, Nathaniel. I try not to think of him at all. Ever.”
Her heart beat faster at the mere image of the anger and ugliness she’d seen in Everett’s face that last time she’d seen him—the glare of hatred in his eyes, his hands gripping the bars so tightly his knuckles had turned white. She managed to swallow. “I … I can’t.”
Nathaniel reached for her hand and took it gently in his. “I know this is a hard thing that I’m asking of you and I don’t do it lightly. But outlaws need to be caught and held accountable. Just like the ones who killed Roger and Hank without a thought—”
“And he threatened me when I told on him, Nathaniel, don’t you understand?
” Her voice rose with panic. “I … it’s not just me I’m worried about.
I’ve got Eliza now!” She paused, her eyes darting.
“And what about the danger to you and your family? If he is out there somewhere and he finds out you’re looking for him, he could seek revenge. ”
He gazed down at her and released her hand. “It’s my job, Chloe. I can’t just let outlaws roam through the territory, whether it’s your former husband or the Blackwell gang or another group of outlaws. The only way to be safe is to make sure that they’re either captured or …”
“Or killed,” she said dully. “You don’t think I know that?” Her eyes never left his. “But the danger to you, your family, to others in this town if you try and fail?” She shook her head.
“You don’t understand. He … he’s not one for giving people second chances.
If you cross him and fail to either put them in jail or …
kill him … he’ll come back and make you regret the fact that you didn’t.
” She tried to turn away but he wouldn’t let her, this time placing a hand on her shoulder.
He bent down slightly so that his eyes were on a level with hers.
“Chloe, we can’t let the outlaws win. The more we turn a blind eye to their behavior, the worse they get. The more belligerent, the more daring, the more violent.”
She knew all that, really she did. Yet still, the thought of confronting Everett and Silas again terrified her.
She hadn’t been lying when she said she feared for not only her daughter’s safety, but for that of Nathaniel’s family.
Hadn’t her relationship with Everett already caused enough damage, to her life and to Nathaniel’s?
It was bad enough now, but what would happen if he learned the truth?
She didn’t want to be selfish. She also had a daughter to protect, just like she did seven years ago.
She had tried to protect her daughter all those years she’d been running and hiding.
Chloe had been safe. Yet if the Cross family found out the truth about her relationship with Everett, how could they not send her away in angry disdain?
They had shown her nothing but Christian charity and kindness so far but when they learned the truth?
Who they had sheltered under their roof?
She wasn’t ready to go! She still had no money and nowhere to go.
It wasn’t just herself any longer. She had to think of Eliza.
How could this family continue to put a roof over her head and food on her table and welcome her into their home if they knew her husband had been the one to murder their loved one?
She glanced down at the bucket and the cloth and turned to look up at him, slowly shaking her head.
“I can’t talk about him, Nathaniel.” She fought back tears, wishing she could be braver and stronger than she was, but she wasn’t.
“I don’t even want to think about him, let alone talk about him.
I started over. I’ve got Eliza now, and that’s the only thing that’s important. ”
He eyed her for several moments and then nodded. “It wasn’t my intention to cause you distress, Chloe,” he said softly.
To her dismay, he placed his hands gently on her shoulders, prompting her to look up at him.
She saw sympathy and concern in his eyes and felt even guiltier.
He was asking her to confide in him, to trust him.
He was just trying to help her, but at the same time it would only make things worse.
A soft sound erupted from her throat and hot tears flooded her eyes once more.
With a low groan rumbling from his chest, he took another step closer and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close against his solid frame, his warmth surrounding her.
She wanted to sink into him, to burrow her face against his chest and cry, to enjoy the moment of tender concern and temporary shelter he offered.
Moments later, he dropped his arms and stepped back. The knuckle of his index finger gently nudged her chin upward to face him. He spoke softly as her eyes searched his.
“You can trust me, Chloe, you and Eliza both. I can keep you safe, to give you a sense of peace, but in order to do that you need to trust me.”
Her throat ached and her eyes burned. She wanted to trust him, truly she did, but if she told him the truth, all of it, he would likely never feel the same toward her again.
How could he? How could he know that her husband had killed his father and expect everything to be all right?
If there is one thing she believed, it was that sometimes, telling the truth could be a very painful and heart wrenching thing to do.