Chapter 18
Nathaniel couldn’t help but feel disappointed as he returned to his office without the answers he’d hoped Chloe could give.
Perhaps Thomas would return this afternoon and he would have some of the answers that he was looking for.
Chloe was afraid, that much he knew, and had been, to varying degrees from the moment she’d woken up in the boarding house. He wished he knew why.
He stared at the door opposite his desk, the one that led to the two jail cells, his thoughts troubled.
When he’d left Chloe in the meadow, she’d looked not only worried but guilty.
He knew the difference, and it only convinced him more than ever that she was withholding something about her past, something so horrible that she couldn’t even bring herself to speak of it.
He wanted to pity her, but the woman didn’t need pity.
She needed support. Even though it troubled him that she felt she couldn’t confide whatever was bothering her to him, he couldn’t help but admire her determination to overcome whatever challenges she had left behind.
Even so, it was difficult for him not to grow suspicious, not to mention his need to learn the secrets that she kept closely guarded.
“Why?” he asked out loud. “Why won’t she trust me, Lord?
Haven’t I done what I can to give her shelter and safety and a sense of security?
” Yet it was more than that. He found himself continually drawn to her, and he felt they had formed the beginnings of a bond.
At the same time he couldn’t abide secrets, at least not the kind of secrets that might put someone in danger. He didn’t understand it.
He’d spoken to both Lillian and his mother about her inability to tell them more about her past other than the fact that she had husband of whom she was obviously quite terrified, so much so that she’d felt compelled to place her daughter in an orphanage to keep her safe.
Of course he felt hurt that she didn’t seem to trust him enough with the complete truth, but he was determined to give her time to realize that he and his family could be trusted.
Later that evening, after acquiescing to his mother’s request to join them for supper, he eyed them all in the sitting room.
His mother sat next to the fireplace embroidering something or other.
Thomas was still gone, and he watched as his sister stared pensively into the small flames of the fire burning in the fireplace.
Chloe watched her daughter, who lay on her stomach on the floor reading a book.
Finally, he heaved a sigh and rose, moving to a small, glass fronted cabinet in the corner of the room. From it he withdrew a checkerboard and a small box. “Eliza,” he said over his shoulder. “How about a game of checkers?”
The child turned to him with raised eyebrows. “I don’t know how to play checkers.”
He sank down sat cross-legged down on the floor on the carpet in the middle of the room, all eyes on him as he gave the child a shrug. “It’s fun. Wanna learn?”
Eliza glanced at him, then at her mother, then back. “Sure!”
She closed the book and scooted closer to Nathaniel as he set the pieces out. He glanced at Chloe, now watching her child and glancing at him, giving him a small smile. His mother continued stitching, but he also saw the small smile on her face. Lilly still stared into the fire.
It wasn’t long before Eliza was actually beating him at the game. He shook his head at the precocious child who seem to soak up everything so quickly. Occasionally he glanced at Chloe, also watching the child, as if her own curiosity had gotten the better of her.
He wondered what it was like for her, loving a child she’d spent so little time with, that bond between mother and daughter. He saw the love in her eyes and then she glanced at him and their eyes locked, both staring at one another for several moments, his own heart kicking a bit.
“She’s beat me again,” he said, suddenly needing something to break the awkward silence in the room.
His mother laughed softly but finally, Lillian turned to him with a grin. “You’re lousy at checkers, Natty, and you always have been.”
He frowned. “No I haven’t, I clearly remember beating you most of the time.”
She smirked. “Because I let you,” she said, her chin lifted. “I didn’t want you to feel bad.”
Eliza laughed, a small giggle that lifted his spirits and also prompted a smile from Chloe.
“You did not,” he muttered.
“Did too,” Lillian replied. “Oh, and by the way, where’s Thomas? Do you know?”
“I sent him on some errands. I thought he might be back tonight, but he was likely delayed, waiting for answers. He should be back by tomorrow.”
“What kind of errands? Where?” Lillian asked.
“A couple of counties, looking for information.” He glanced down, resetting the checkerboard. “Like I said, he should be back by tomorrow.”
“What kind of information?”
He frowned at his sister. “The kind of information I need to do my job. Let’s leave it at that, shall we?” He glanced quickly at his mother and then Chloe, both watching him now, his mother looking rather resigned while Chloe simply stared.
Lillian heaved a sigh. “You’re looking for information about them again, aren’t you?”
“About who?” Eliza asked, looking at Nathaniel before turning to Lillian.
“Don’t ask questions like that, Eliza,” Chloe gently scolded. “It’s sheriff’s business and—”
“It’s about the outlaws again isn’t it?” Lillian asked, her voice somber as she eyed her brother.
His mother put down her stitching and glanced at Lillian. “Lillian, leave it alone,” she said softly. “It’s his job.”
Lillian stood, eyes narrowed and slowly shaking her head. “You’re never going to stop, are you, Natty? You’re going to keep brooding and hunting and … and …” She angrily flung her hand in his direction, then encompassed the room. “You live in the past, and nothing will change, will it?”
With that, she flounced from the room. Nathaniel could do nothing but stare after her in dismay as she disappeared and stomped upstairs to her room. To her credit, she didn’t slam the door. He turned to his mother, an eyebrow lifted. “What’s gotten into her?”
His mother said nothing for several moments but quickly glanced at Eliza. He followed suit and saw the child watching him with just a bit of wariness, as if waiting to see what he was going to do. He then glanced at Chloe, also staring at him, face pale, probably wondering the same.
He did his best to erase the frown tugging at his eyebrows. He didn’t understand why Lillian had gotten so upset. Eliza appeared curious while Chloe suddenly looked like she’d seen a ghost, her face pale. He sighed and turned to his mother. “What did I say?”
Dalia laid aside her embroidery and stood. “I’ll go talk to her.” She paused beside his chair and lowered her voice. “I have a feeling it’s something to do with our new boarder.”
He glanced up at her, eyebrows raised again.
Thomas? Why would his job have something to do with Thomas?
Without asking the question, his mother gave them a single nod.
Oh. It was then he realized that Lillian liked the man, perhaps a bit more than merely liked.
Was she upset because he’d sent Thomas on the errand?
An errand that could be dangerous? He grimaced and shook his head with a sigh as his mother followed her daughter upstairs. He glanced at Eliza.
“Want to play another round?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m tired.” She looked over her shoulder at Chloe. “Can I go to bed?”
Chloe nodded and rose, brushing out her skirt. “Yes, it is getting a bit late,” she agreed.
Some color had returned to her cheeks but Nathaniel couldn’t help but notice she avoided his gaze.
“Come along, Eliza,” she said, extending her hand. She turned to Nathaniel. “Thank you for teaching her how to play checkers, Nathaniel,” she said softly. “It was very kind of you.”
He watched the two of them leave, their footsteps echoing down the hallway, the back door opening and closing, and then the house grew silent.
Thank you for teaching her how to play checkers?
What was that about? Was the simplest kindness so unexpected in Chloe’s life?
And why had she paled like that when his sister asked about outlaws?
He returned to his chair and sat for a while, the flames dying down and turning to embers while he brooded. With a sigh, he finally rose from his chair and quietly left the house, his boots crunching softly on the dirt as he made his way back to the sheriff’s office.
“Why doesn’t she trust me?” he asked out loud. “Why—”
The sound of quiet footsteps quickly approaching from behind prompted him to spin around.
He gaped in dismay when he realized it was Chloe, hurrying to catch up with him.
She stopped in front of him, her skirt gently swaying about her ankles as she tucked her hands behind her back and looked up at him.
“Nathaniel, I … I want you to know that … well, I realize that I’m not used to—”
“You don’t have to explain, Chloe,” he said.
“But I do,” she murmured. She glanced quickly around as if to make sure no one was listening.
“I … I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me and for Eliza.
” She pressed her lips together for a moment before looking back up at him.
“I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you and your family have done for us and, well, I’ll never forget it. ”
What was she talking about? A thought struck him, one that left him feeling odd, as if he might lose something important. “What?”
Her shoulders dropped slightly. “Well, we can’t keep living on your generosity,” she replied.
He frowned as she pulled her hands from behind her back and then crossed her arms around her waist. She avoided his gaze. Why did she appear so nervous?
“As soon as I save up enough money, we’ll move along. I don’t want to impose on you and your family any longer than we have to.”
He winced, startled by her comment. “Who said anything about you imposing on us? Or that there was some kind of time limit for you to stay?” What about the kisses they’d shared?
“No one, but … you and your family, you’ve been so kind and—”
He took a step toward her, hesitated only briefly and then placed his hands on her shoulders.
“Chloe. You and Eliza can stay as long as you’d like.
You’ve been a great help to my mother and sister.
Your daughter seems to like it here.” He didn’t know what to say or how to say it.
“You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like. ” I’d like you to stay.
“You’re very kind, you and your family,” she said, finally looking up at him.
They stood in shadows, a couple of lights still on in the mercantile, and a dull glow coming from the doctor’s office down the street. “It’s late. I’ll walk you back to the cabin.”
“You don’t have to—”
He reached for her hand and clasped it. “I know I don’t have to, Chloe. I want to.”
She stiffened for the briefest of moments and then turned to him.
He didn’t know what came over him at that moment, but he couldn’t help it and he couldn’t stop it now, even if he wanted to.
With his free hand, he nudged a knuckle under her chin and lifted her face to his.
He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her ever so gently, a myriad of feelings rising up inside him that he had never felt before and didn’t know what to do with.
All he knew at that moment was that after the slightest of hesitations, she returned the kiss and then it was over and they were staring at one another, his eyes searching hers as she looked up at him with what he could only perceive as regret before she gently tugged her hand from his.
“You’re a good man, Nathaniel Cross,” she murmured, her voice breaking. “I mean too good for the likes of me.”
With that she turned and left him standing in the street as she ran back to the boarding house, disappearing into the shadows beside it and toward the cabin and her daughter, leaving him standing there watching her go, wondering what he was supposed to do now.
One thing was for sure. He wasn’t going to give up, not on anything, not her and her daughter, not his family, and most of all, not his job. He would find those he was looking for, come hell or high water. Only then would he feel he could finally move forward in his life, whatever it might bring.
He couldn’t help but hope and pray that it would include Chloe and her daughter.