Chapter 19 #2
So she could like Nathaniel, she could grow fond of Dalia and Lillian, but in the end she would only end up hurting those she cared about.
The longer she stayed the harder it would be for Eliza to understand why they were leaving, and they had to leave and soon, before Nathaniel and his family learned the truth.
She knew she wouldn’t be able to bear the look in their eyes when the truth was uncovered.
She knew that she would suffer, but her daughter?
She couldn’t let her daughter share the punishment of the sins of the mother.
Nathaniel would continue his search for the man or men who had killed his father.
He would avenge his father’s death, she had no doubt about that.
So in spite of Lillian’s insistence and the words she’d spoken, the time was fast approaching when she would have to walk away from the Cross family and Cedar Bluff.
She had no choice.
*
Two days had passed since her last conversation with Lillian in the buggy. Yet again, Lillian had gone to the orphanage and Eliza with her. Every day she and her daughter stayed here, her daughter was growing more attached to this family, and for that matter, so was she.
Thomas had returned, but what he had found out about any outlaws was a mystery to Chloe as well as to the family, whom Nathaniel had apparently not confided in. All he’d said upon Thomas’s return was that the information he’d been looking for wasn’t forthcoming, and then he dropped it.
Every evening now, Nathaniel and Eliza played a game of checkers while Lillian would either read or go for a walk with Thomas, something that also made Dalia smile more often.
They all deserved happiness, didn’t they?
Dalia seemed to enjoy teaching Eliza how to bake other things besides biscuits now.
Actually, Eliza’s third batch of biscuits had been nearly perfect and the effusive praise she’d received from the family had touched Chloe deeply.
Eliza was coming out of her shell, learning to trust again, to laugh and play like a child her age should.
There was even talk of starting a school in Cedar Bluff so that the children in town and scattered around farms and ranches in the area could attend more formal education.
Chloe had thought that Eliza would balk, but she did just the opposite.
She wanted to go to a real school, she exclaimed.
Her friends would be able to go to the real school too.
Yet with every day that passed, Chloe knew that leaving would be even harder. Sooner or later, she would have to tell Nathaniel the truth. He would have to send them away, and why wouldn’t he? He was practically harboring a criminal, well, a criminal by association anyway.
The fact that it was his father who’d been murdered made it all even worse.
Every morning when she woke, she told herself that today would be the day when she would confess, yet with every day that passed and she didn’t, she felt the weight of guilt and shame laying even more heavily on her shoulders.
It got to the point where she barely ate anything and went about her chores quietly.
After supper, while the family and Eliza gathered in the sitting room, Chloe would often mention that she was tired or had a bit of a headache and would retire to the cabin by herself, where from a window she would stare at the house, praying for guidance and for the strength to do the right thing.
One day, after finishing with her dusting and helping Dalia with the laundry and changing bedsheets in the house, she ventured to the cabin, looking for Eliza.
She wasn’t there, so Chloe head to the stable but didn’t find her there either, even after checking the loft and finding the kittens still there with the mother cat.
She searched the woods beside the house as far as the stream where they’d gone fishing that day.
She still didn’t find Eliza. Where could she be?
She returned to the house and found Dalia in the kitchen chopping vegetables for the supper. “Dalia, have you seen Eliza lately?”
Dalia looked over her shoulder and shook her head. “Not since lunchtime when she came back from the mercantile. I had sent her over there for some sewing thread and ribbon.” She smiled. “I thought I would make her a dress.” She paused. “Oh, as long as it’s all right with you, that is.”
That’s very kind of you, Dalia, and it’s perfectly fine with me. But I can’t find her.” Worry began to gnaw at her. “Are you sure she returned from the store?”
Dalia nodded. “Yes,” she replied. “She put the items in the sitting room.” She stopped stirring. “She’s not playing in the stable or up in the loft?”
“No, she’s not there,” Chloe replied. “I’ve looked in the cabin, behind it, in chicken yard, the stable, and the copse of trees between the cabin and the stream. I can’t find her anywhere.”
For a moment or two, Dalia looked concerned.
Then she sighed, shook her head, and smiled.
“She’s taken a fancy to playing hide and seek,” she murmured.
Raising her voice, she called out. “I can’t find Eliza anywhere!
Oh my! I suppose if I can’t find her, she won’t get any of the pie I have baking in the oven for dessert this evening! ”
Chloe gaped at Dalia. “Why would she be hiding in the house—”
Just then, Chloe heard the pounding of feet from upstairs.
She nearly sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs with relief as, moments later, her daughter appeared in the doorway with a smile and her eyes twinkling.
Relief surged through her and she had to fight back from scolding.
“Eliza, didn’t you hear me calling for you outside? ”
The child nodded and offered a soft laugh. “But I was already hiding, Mama, in the closet next to Miss Millicent’s room. I was waiting for someone to find me!”
Chloe struggled against the fear that had risen inside her. How was Eliza supposed to know that something as simple as playing hide and seek would send fear racing down her mother’s spine? How could she know? She glanced at Dalia, watching her curiously.
“All right, Eliza,” Dalia said. “I don’t think your mother liked that game very much, so we’d better not play it anymore, all right?”
Eliza glanced between the two of them and then nodded. “Are you mad at me, Mama?”
Chloe forced a smile. “Of course not, Eliza. I just got a little worried when I couldn’t find you, that’s all.” She was startled when Eliza hurried toward her and wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging her tight.
“I’m sorry I scared you, Mama, I won’t do it again.”
Chloe wrapped her arms around her daughter’s shoulders, her eyes meeting Dalia’s.
Eliza wasn’t the only one learning new lessons.
She was learning how to be a mother while Eliza was learning how to be a daughter.
Apparently, it took a lot of practice. She smiled at Dalia and mouthed a ‘thank you’ and shook her head again.
“Eliza,” Dalia said softly. “Would you like to stay with me for a little while? As soon as the pie is out of the oven, you can help me sprinkle sugar over the top, all right?”
The child’s eyes grew wide as she stepped back and looked up at Chloe. “Can I? Can I stay?”
Chloe gazed down at Eliza and forced a smile. “Of course you can.” She turned to Dalia. “I finished with the chores. I think all go back to the cabin, unless of course, you have something else you need me to do?”
“No, Chloe, we’re finished for the day. You go rest up a bit. I’ll send Eliza for you when supper’s just about ready.”
Chloe nodded. Filled with a number of clashing emotions, she left the house and walked slowly across the back yard toward the cabin.
She shouldn’t have panicked like that. Yet how could she not?
She realized that both she and Eliza had a lot of work to do when it came to family.
She’d never had a mother, not really, and Eliza was just learning about hers.
She had to set a better example, to be stronger, more confident.
She heaved a sigh as she entered their cabin.
She decided she would read her Bible for a little while, perhaps gain some much-needed strength and wisdom from the Good Book, and headed for the table near the small, potbelly stove.
She noticed a piece of paper on the table and stepped closer.
When she looked down on it and saw the writing, her eyes grew wide, her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, and her knees wobbled.
Written on the note were two words:
Found You