Chapter 26
Still stunned with shock over what Chloe had done, Nathaniel held tightly to her hand as they walked back to the horses. He paused and turned her toward him once again. “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”
He’d never felt such fear as when the gunfire had erupted and he’d seen her fall, his heart in his throat, not sure whether Silas had pushed her out of the way or whether he’d shot her.
“I’m all right,” she murmured.
He wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he stood by his horse, the others tending to Silas for the moment. His eyes searched hers. “Chloe …” His anger gone, all he could think was that he had nearly lost her before he had a chance to tell her how much she mattered to him.
He watched as his men surrounded them, a couple of them tending to Silas, who held a hand to his side, blood seeping through his fingers. Nathaniel met his eyes, thinking that he should feel a sense of victory, a vindication, but he only shook his head at the waste of it all.
Chloe also turned, her eyes widening when she saw that Silas was wounded. She stared at her childhood friend and he saw emotions in her eyes, one after another, but ending with a frown of consternation.
“Is she … she all right?” the outlaw asked.
Nathaniel nodded. “She’s all right.”
Brothers Seth and Roger Hanscom got Silas up on his feet, but he sagged weakly and then nearly dropped to his knees. Nathaniel turned to Spencer, standing a short distance away, eyeing all of them. “Spencer,” he said. “You brought bandages?”
“Don’t I always?”
Nathaniel nodded as Spencer moved to his horse, opened a saddlebag and brought out some squares of folded sheeting and strips of bandages. As his men tended to the wounded outlaw, he turned away from them and focused on Chloe.
“You sure you’re all right?” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.
When he’d seen her fall … she’d risked her life for him.
As he lifted her carefully from the ground, his eyes again traveling over her figure to make sure she hadn’t been injured, he felt his hands shaking.
When their eyes met, he pulled her toward him once more, holding her close, her body trembling with the aftermath of her scare. He awkwardly patted her back.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her head against his chest. “I’m so sorry, Nathaniel, for not telling you the truth sooner. “I just … just couldn’t make myself …”
“Shhhh,” he soothed, cupping the back of her head with his palm, his only thought right now that she was all right, she was safe, that she hadn’t just been killed. “I thought it was going to lose you,” he murmured, his voice warm against her ear.
She lifted her face toward his and met his eyes. “I thought I’d already lost you,” she murmured, tears on her cheeks.
He cupped his hands under her chin and smoothed tears away with his thumbs. He grimaced, guilt weighing heavily on him for his behavior. “I … I could’ve handled that better, Chloe, I admit that, and I’m sorry. I never …” He didn’t know how to apologize, didn’t know how to express his regrets.
Her arms tightened around him once more, her chin resting on his chest. “I’m sorry too, that I didn’t … I was afraid you would hate me …”
“Never,” he said. He bent down slightly so he could look directly into her eyes. “I could never hate you, Chloe. In fact … I love you. I love you, Chloe Whitfield, I know that now. I didn’t know it at first, didn’t know anything and I was a … well …”
“I love you, Nathaniel,” she said, her voice choked.
And then he saw the most wondrous thing he’d ever laid eyes on. She smiled. A heretofore unseen dimple appeared in her left cheek, and his heart thudded hard. “I love you, Chloe Whitfield.”
With that, he lowered his head again, his mouth hovering over hers, hesitating ever so briefly. She didn’t move, but closed her eyes and lifted her chin a bit higher.
With a sigh of relief, of hope, of a strange, unbridled joy bursting within him, he touched his lips to hers and they kissed.
He disappeared within it for several moments, but when he heard nothing but silence, not even the birds around him, he lifted his head and realized everyone was staring at them.
He frowned. What? You never seen a lady get kissed before?” He reached for her hand. “Now let’s go home.”
Murphy grunted a laugh, while Seth and Roger held Silas upright between them on his knees and Spencer wrapped the bandage around his waist. The outlaw stared at the ground, not saying a word, apparently resigned to his fate.
He didn’t want to feel sorry for the man, but in a way he did.
Silas Crowe had been very young when he’d fallen under Everett Kane’s spell, just as Chloe had, but that was over now.
Kane was dead and Silas had been captured and would likely spend years in prison.
The gang had apparently scattered to points unknown.
They rode together back toward town, Chloe sitting sideways in his lap. As far as he was concerned, he had the most precious thing in his life right here, in his arms. As he glanced down at her, he grinned. “Let’s get on home. Eliza’s waiting for you there.”
Chloe’s eyes grew wide and filled with another surge of tears. “She’s all right? My daughter’s all right?”
“She’s fine, Chloe.” He swallowed thickly, another surge of emotion threatening. “She’s strong, just like her mama.”
They rode back to town, Chloe sitting sidesaddle in front of him on his horse, his arm wrapped around hers, her head leaning against his chest. They spoke softly, him sharing his fears of losing her, and hers much the same. With the others riding a short distance behind, she spoke again.
“You’ve taught me something, Nathaniel,” she murmured, looking up at him.
He glanced down at her and grinned. “You’ve taught me a thing or two as well, Chloe.”
“For the first time in my life, I know what it’s like to truly be loved, to be cared for and about, to be truly alive and looking forward with joy and anticipation instead of dread.”
He nodded. “Yeah, and I’ve learned a thing or two as well,” he confessed.
“I’ve learned that the vengeance I’ve carried in my heart all these years has blinded me from all the good around me, all the love and support.
” He glanced down at her, his eyes not leaving hers.
“I’m in love with you, Chloe, and I guess I have been for a while and I didn’t realize it. ”
She smiled, hand lifting to gently brush against his cheek, fingering the whiskers on his jaw. “Me too.”
He pulled his horse to a halt then, his eyes locked onto hers. The others rode past them, and he let them. He caught a glance from Silas as he stared at Chloe a moment, his face gray with pain, but then the outlaw turned away.
“I don’t ever want to lose this, Chloe. I don’t want to let you go. I know my feelings won’t change, so I’m going to ask you something, but you don’t have to answer right away.” He paused. “Chloe Whitfield, will you marry me?”
She didn’t wait but two seconds before a smile curved her lips, her eyes shining with tears of joy. “Yes, Nathaniel Cross, I’d love to marry you.”
He held her in his arms all the way back to town.
He had planned on following the others to the sheriff’s office to deal with the injured Silas and get Chloe’s written statement, but as word spread that they were returning, he saw his mother, Lillian, and Eliza waiting in front of the boarding house with Amos, Thomas and Barty.
His heart swelled. There were good people in this town, people he could count on.
He didn’t have to do everything himself.
“Mama!”
Chloe gasped as she turned and saw her daughter rush toward Nathaniel’s horse.
She was already sliding from the saddle, Nathaniel’s hand wrapped firmly around her upper arm as he helped her down.
He watched Chloe stumble slightly forward and crouch, bracing herself as Eliza nearly flung herself against Chloe.
Chloe sank to her knees, wrapping her child tightly in her arms, both of them now crying and hugging.
He looked beyond them and found his mother and his sister smiling.
His mother’s hands were on her cheeks, her eyes shining, and Lillian smiled up at him as well, clasping Thomas’s hand. He gave both a nod of approval.
By the time he dismounted he found himself surrounded by townspeople offering congratulations on capturing the dreaded outlaw, while at the same time he heard Doc Fillmore’s shouting at the others to get the prisoner to his office so he could take care of his injuries before they tossed the outlaw in jail.
His mother approached him, gazing up into his eyes. “Is it over Nathaniel? Is it truly over?”
He nodded and wrapped his mother in his arms, resting his chin gently on top of her head. “It’s over, Mother. It’s truly over.”
Lillian came over to them then, and wrapped her arms around the both of them. “I’m so glad you’re all right, Nathaniel, that everyone’s all right and that you brought Chloe back. She’s such a good friend, such a good person, and I hope that she’ll be able to stay—”
He grinned at his sister. “She’s not only staying, Lilly, she’s going to be your sister-in-law real soon.”
Lillian glanced up at him, her eyes shining with joy as his mother released another burst of tears, the joy on her face something that he would remember for the rest of his life.
*
A week passed before Nathaniel escorted Chloe into the jailhouse. As they entered, she glanced at him and received his nod. He stood from behind the desk and reached for her hand. “I’ll be just outside the door if you need me.”
A few days ago, Chloe had asked to see Silas, and after thinking about it, their past friendship, and Chloe’s need to find some sort of peace with what had happened, he’d agreed.
Even so he wasn’t going to leave her in there alone.
As she passed through the doorway leading to the jail cells, he returned to his desk and sank down into his chair, elbows resting on the top, chin in his hands as she slowly turned the brass knob and pushed the door separating his office from the cells open.
Then she took a deep breath and entered.
From his vantage point he could see Silas in his jail cell, sitting on his cot, hands on his knees, head down. As the door swung open, he looked up, his face expressing a bit of surprise to see her standing in the doorway.
He recalled the conversation from the night before.
“Nathaniel, even though I spent so many years running and hiding, fearing for my life and always looking over my shoulder, I can’t help but feel some sympathy for him.”
At first Nathaniel didn’t understand it, but then, suddenly, out of the blue, he did. Maybe it was God tapping him on the shoulder, but he suddenly understood that Chloe needed to confront her past, and she needed to confront Silas as well, come what may.
He watched, his eyes narrowed as Silas rose and moved toward the bars, a hand gripping a bar to the side of his head.
He felt relieved as Chloe entered but stood back from the bars, watching Silas for several moments, likely wondering if the boy she had grown up with, the one she’d loved so dearly, was anywhere in him anymore.
He felt not one iota of guilt for eavesdropping on their conversation.
Silas eyed her for several moments, no expression on his face. “You comin’ here to gloat?”
She frowned. “No, Silas, not at all. I came to tell you I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through.”
His eyes widened. “Sorry for me? Why? I’m getting’ what I deserve.”
“I think we both fell under his spell, didn’t we, Silas? Way back then?”
Silas nodded, glanced at the floor and then back at her. “I want to tell you I’m sorry, Chloe, for everything.”
Nathaniel lifted an eyebrow and surprise. He didn’t think that the outlaw had a contrite bone in his body.
“When I was with Everett, everything he said sounded so right, so just, and you know how we grew up. I’d been deprived all my life and didn’t know what living really was.
The more I fell into the dark hole of his words, I didn’t know how to climb out and now here I am, going to prison for the rest of my life. ”
“Silas, I can try to put in a word or two in your behalf when the judge comes—”
“No, I don’t deserve it,” he said, slowly shaking his head.
“I made my own choices and you made yours. I won’t deny that I was angry with you for a long, long time but now I know that I was wrong and you were right to do what you did.
” He looked down again, his fingers tightening on the bars.
“Tell the sheriff … tell Nathaniel Cross that I’m sorry for what Everett did to his father.
I was there, I knew it was going to happen and I didn’t stop it … ”
Unbidden, a surge of anger and bitterness rose in Nathaniel’s heart as he remembered those terrible days. Chloe’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts.
“The Lord will decide our destiny, Silas, no matter how we try to shape our own. I just want you to know that I’ll … I’ll never forget what you meant to me when we were growing up, and that I’ll pray for you in the future, no matter what happens or where you end up.”
Silas looked at her and nodded. “Fair enough.” He let go of the bars, hands dropping to his sides. “You have a good life, Chloe. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”
Later, after Chloe left the jail and returned to the boarding house, Nathaniel, Chloe, and Eliza went for a walk, holding hands as they passed through the grove toward the stream where they had picnicked only days ago, although it felt like forever ago.
“Mama?”
Nathaniel glanced at Chloe, who looked down at her daughter with a smile. He knew she would never get tired of hearing that word.
“Yes Eliza?”
Nathaniel grinned down at the child as she looked up at him and then back to her mother.
“Is Nathaniel really going to be my papa?”
Chloe smiled at her daughter. “Yes, he is.”
Eliza turned to look up at him, her eyes shining with happiness.
“I’m glad,” Eliza said. “I like you, Nathaniel.”
Nathaniel grinned back. “I like you too, honey, I surely do.”
Chloe smiled. “We’re going to be a family,” she said softly. She turned to Nathaniel, her eyes shining with tears. “Were going to be a family.”