Chapter 17
17
By eight o’clock, Youngie filled the property. It was a much bigger turnout than the year before. Three fire pits burned to roast wieners and marshmallows. Lois had set up two tables in the parking lot for sides, condiments, and drinks. Several of the families in the district had contributed to the event. The attendees parked cars and buggies in the parking lot and tethered horses along the woods.
A girl Lois didn’t know, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, snapped photos on her phone. Lois blanched when the girl directed the phone at her as she stood behind one of the food tables. The girl said, “I heard Moses Lantz fired you.”
“Who from?” Lois asked, hoping the girl wasn’t filming her.
Wanda stepped to her side. “Everyone knows. What happened?”
“What did happen?” Evelyn was on the other side of the table without Mark. “Moses wouldn’t tell me. He said it was private information, and I was afraid to knock on your door and ask.”
“I don’t think he’s been happy with me for a while.” Lois shrugged. “I suppose Moses is right. It’s private.” Isabelle’s plan didn’t sound as good as it had a few days ago. Lois had the chance to let Isabelle know she didn’t agree with it—especially after reading Teresa’s letter again about living out one’s values—but she hadn’t. As wrong as Moses was, it didn’t feel right to try to turn the community against him, even more than it seemed it already had. For certain, Moses had been wrong about the order, but perhaps she hadn’t been the best employee. There was no denying she’d hoped he’d fail so Isabelle could buy the store. Now Isabelle was hoping to buy a store in South Carolina instead.
Lois had failed. She’d always prided herself in having strong character, but she didn’t when it came to Moses. She hadn’t wanted his business to succeed. Her hurt had gotten the best of her.
“Well, you’re being kind,” Wanda said. “I heard he fired you for something you didn’t do.”
“It may have been more of a misunderstanding. And he did allow me to host tonight, plus stay in the apartment for now.” Lois grew more and more uncomfortable with each word. She didn’t want to be talking with anyone about Moses, especially not Wanda. It certainly wasn’t her place to defend him—nor did she need to try to explain all that had happened between her and Moses over the last seventeen years when she didn’t understand it herself. “I need to restock the buns.” She darted around the side of the building to the back.
As she opened the door, John came toward her from the grassy area. “Lois,” he said. “Come roast marshmallows with me.”
She grabbed five bags of buns from the box in the hallway. “I will after I deliver these and make sure we don’t need any more. I’ll find you.”
Ten minutes later she stood by John with a marshmallow on a stick. She tried not to stare at a young man wearing jeans and a western-style shirt. She’d never asked Menno how old he was. He could be eighteen and on his Rumspringa. Or twenty-eight and a member of the church for the last decade. Although if that were so, he’d most likely be married. Amy was right—he could be anybody. And anywhere at this moment. Even here. She’d never know unless someone called him Menno.
“Lois!”
She turned.
Casey limped toward her. “How are you?”
She smiled. “I’m fine.” She’d always liked Casey.
“How are you doing, really?” His voice was full of kindness.
“All right.”
“What Moses did was horrible. Really uncalled for. I told him so—”
Lois put her finger to her lips. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I know you’re having other problems too. I heard that Bishop Stephen isn’t happy with you living by yourself.”
Lois swung the bag of marshmallows toward him. “We’re not talking about any of that tonight.”
Casey grabbed the bag.
She motioned toward the metal roasting sticks. “You need one of those.”
He gave her a sympathetic smile. “You don’t want to talk about any of it?”
“That’s correct. Let’s enjoy this evening.”
Casey glanced around and then smiled at her. “It’s a great turnout.”
“Isn’t it?”
He nodded, picked up a stick, and then pulled a couple of marshmallows from the bag. Then he stepped to John’s side and said, “How have you been?”
“ Gut .”
“I saw your folks down in the parking lot. They look like they’re doing...”
Lois pulled her marshmallow off the stick and shoved it in her mouth. Then she put her stick with the others and started over to the next fire pit.
As she chewed on the toasted gooey mess, she felt unsettled. She didn’t like Moses. In fact, she detested him. And she had wished him ill will, something the Bible, the Amish church, her parents, and her values all taught against.
It probably didn’t matter how she treated him, though. He would have fired her no matter what. He was only looking for an excuse.
Evelyn stood by a couple of girls Lois didn’t know. Lois asked, “Where’s Mark?”
Evelyn glanced around and then said in a low voice, “He went to New York to find his sister. He found out where she lives from one of the older brothers and got in contact with her. She’s married to a Mennonite man and has a family.”
“Oh wow.”
Someone cleared his throat behind them. Lois turned to find John a step away. “Are you talking about Mark?”
“For sure,” Lois answered. “That’s great he found your sister.”
John shook his head. “It’s none of his business. It’s better to let all of that be.”
Lois glanced at Evelyn, who looked very uncomfortable. Lois turned so she was fully facing John. “Not if she wanted to see him.”
John crossed his arms. “He’ll just stir up old wounds and hurt Mamm and Dat. Our sister already did that once. They don’t deserve it again. We should look toward the future—not the past.”
Lois exhaled slowly. Who was she to talk about how to handle family problems when she had a strained relationship with her only sibling? But she didn’t believe John’s approach was the best. She asked, “Do your parents know where Mark is?”
“Nee. But they will soon enough.”
Evelyn deftly changed the subject. “So, Lois, what are your plans now?”
“Will you be going back to Big Valley?” John asked.
Alarmed, she answered, “No.” Did he want her to go back to Big Valley?
Someone called her name. Amy was standing in the back door of the shop, waving.
“Oh, look.” Lois pointed at Amy. John turned. “Amy needs me.” She took off toward the shop. John was usually so... positive. He was usually overly positive. Was that why he couldn’t cope with a serious topic he feared would bring more conflict to his family? If so, what would he think of the conflict she had with her brother?
Lois didn’t climb the stairs to her apartment until eleven, after she’d finished cleaning up, tossing the garbage, putting away the tables, and cleaning the restroom. Once she was inside her apartment, she locked the door behind her, kicked off her shoes, and, too keyed up to sleep, made herself a cup of chamomile tea. Then she slipped her letter from Randy from its envelope. It really was from him and not Deanna, a first. He wrote he’d had a letter from her bishop that she wasn’t living with Amy and Bennie Dienner as he had believed. Randy was disappointed that she had tricked him.
You need to move home now. Nathan is still interested in marrying you even after the way you treated him.
Lois stuffed the letter back in the envelope. How ironic he thought returning to Big Valley would be a move home. She’d lived in Paradise far longer and with many more happy memories. She’d think about writing Randy back later.
She took out her notebook and wrote Hallo, Menno at the top of the page. She thanked him for his letter and wrote she was glad hers arrived. She mentioned meeting at Middle Creek or a place in Paradise Township. Which would you prefer? Let me know. Then she added more details about the bevy of swans that she hadn’t included in her previous letter. There had been one single swan in the flock that hadn’t found a new partner yet. She wrote,
As you know, swans mate for life. If a partner dies, the remaining one usually finds a new partner. Occasionally a couple will “divorce,” usually after a failed nest.
Her father had given her that information. He hadn’t clarified what constituted a failed nest. A structural failure? Or no cygnets? That was a sad thought.
Lois wiped away a tear, which she knew wasn’t for the failed nest of a couple of swans. Jah, the tear was for herself. She’d had a failed relationship with Moses. A horrid, unwanted relationship with Nathan. And now a very tepid relationship with John, if it could even be called one.
She put down her pen. She’d finish her letter to Menno later.
Monday morning she added a paragraph about seeing the red-tailed hawk a few weeks before, wanting to add the sighting of a more recent bird to the letter. She scootered to the post office and mailed the completed letter to Menno. Then she scootered on to the shop in Bird-in-Hand. She reminded herself not to bring up the circle letter with Mary. If she did, she’d have to confess she was masquerading as Jane Weaver.
As she walked into the shop, Mary greeted her with a smile and a big “Hallo!” And then, “I heard you stopped by.” She lowered her voice. “And that Moses Lantz fired you.”
“Jah.” Lois winced. “That news seems to be out and about.”
“I also heard you’ve been very gracious, not wanting to call Moses out for being a jerk.”
Lois pursed her lips together at Mary’s choice of words.
“People are saying you won’t talk about it at all, not wanting anyone to think you’re gossiping about him.”
Were people making her out to be a saint? She supposed compared to Moses she was—but she wasn’t.
Mary kept talking. “I also heard you’re looking for a job.”
“Jah,” Lois answered. “That’s why I’ve stopped by.”
“We have a part-time position. Fifteen to twenty hours a week. But it won’t start for three weeks.”
Lois had a fair amount of money in savings, and if Moses allowed her to stay for a few weeks, then she’d be fine. “I can wait. Do you know of anyone who might have an apartment to rent out or even a room?”
“You can check with Claudia Peachy.” Mary took a piece of paper from a drawer behind the counter and wrote down the woman’s number.
Lois took her notebook and a pen from her backpack and wrote down Amy’s phone number on a corner of paper. “Would you leave me a message at this number if you need to get ahold of me?”
Mary took the piece of paper.
“What day should I start?”
“Tuesday, July 2nd. You’ll work Tuesdays and Wednesdays, nine to seven.” A customer had approached the counter. Mary said, “I’ll see you then.”
A smile crept across Lois’s face as she left the shop. Things were working out. Gott would take care of her, regardless of Moses Lantz.
On the way home, Lois scootered onto Meadow Lane, past the marsh, and then past the Harris farm, which still had a For Sale sign up. Then she scootered back to the marsh. Why not ask Menno to meet her there? That way she wouldn’t need to hire a driver. She’d wait and see what his response to her letter was.
As she headed back toward the farm, aiming to do the covered bridge loop, a car turned into the driveway. She stopped her scooter. Scotty walked toward the car as it parked. She didn’t want him to see her. She’d end up telling him Moses had fired her, if he hadn’t already heard. And then what? Would he confront Moses and demand he rehire her?
A man and woman climbed out of the front of the car, and a little girl, probably around ten, climbed out of the back. They all wore jeans and T-shirts. Most likely they were interested in buying the farm.
Her heart ached, but she said a prayer for the farm to sell. She still felt connected to the property with Scotty and Barb living there—but she knew it would be best for it to sell. She waited a few minutes after Scotty and the little family disappeared, hoping they were in the house. Then she scootered by. She hadn’t waited long enough. Scotty waved but she pretended she hadn’t seen him and kept on going.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday she helped Amy with the kids and the garden and candle making.
On Thursday, Amy made goat’s-milk soap in the afternoon while the kids napped, using the heat method and making plain bars without any decorations. Obviously Moses’s market wouldn’t open any time soon, but Amy wanted to be prepared when it did. “I hope you won’t despise me for wanting to sell at Moses’s market even after he fired you,” Amy said to Lois as she stirred the pot on the back of her stove.
“Well, if he’ll let you be a vendor after you yelled at him, I can’t fault you for taking him up on it.” Lois concentrated on washing the dinner dishes as Amy worked. “I understand why you need to do it.”
“I don’t feel good about it—I’m not sure what to do.” Amy turned the heat down a little.
“You need the money.” Lois put the last of the plates in the rack. “Give it a try and see how it goes.”
Amy turned toward Lois as she stirred. “I’ve been thinking about the two of you, about what happened. You seemed so happy, so right for each other.”
“We weren’t.”
Amy looked so sad. “I should have asked this a long time ago, but did he contact you in Big Valley?”
“Nee. Did he go to your wedding?” It had always pained Lois that she’d missed Amy and Bennie’s wedding, but Randy insisted she return to Big Valley with him immediately after Mamm passed away. Lois, at the time, hadn’t thought she had any choice but to go.
“No, Moses didn’t come to the wedding. He had a lot going on then too,” Amy said. “I think more than we knew at the time. Sure, we knew about the wreck and that Casey was in the hospital in traction and Sara had a concussion and all of that. It seemed Moses was unscathed, but I think he had a lot of guilt about the accident. And it seems his Mamm was already having problems, we just didn’t know yet.”
Lois turned toward Amy. “What do you mean?”
“His Mamm has dementia. Maybe Alzheimer’s. It came on early.”
“Wanda said she’s in a care center. I didn’t know that.”
Amy scrunched her nose. “I guess everything happened while you were gone.”
The mixture began to bubble and Amy turned her attention to it.
Lois asked, “Why did Moses feel guilty about the wreck?”
“He was driving.”
“I assumed Casey was—it was his car.”
Amy shook her head.
“Oh.” Moses must have left his car at the river that night and retrieved it later.
“Don’t you remember all of this?” Amy turned toward Lois again.
“Nee. I told you not to tell me anything about Moses.”
“I guess I followed your instructions.” Amy grimaced. “Moses’s Dat died—maybe six months after the accident. And then stuff kind of got out of hand with his Mamm around the time Ernie was born. So, jah, I guess maybe I didn’t tell you. When I went up to Big Valley to get you, we had other things to talk about.”
Lois didn’t respond.
“The night of the accident, there was a party on the Susquehanna River—”
“A week before you got married?”
“Jah,” Amy said.
Lois thought of the owl in the sycamore tree, and the full moon shining down on the river as she and Moses walked along the bank. It had started out a perfect night. And then everything turned once Sara arrived. “I was there.”
“You never told me that.”
“I thought I had.” She and Moses had sat on a log by the fire, all their years of schoolyard animosity gone. He had his arm around her and pulled her close. She felt safe. Protected for the first time since Dat had passed away, as if she wouldn’t have to find her own way in life after all and take care of her Mamm at the same time. They talked softly, unaware of anyone else around them. He asked to give her a ride home. Before she could respond, Sara showed up. She sat across from Moses and Lois and stared at them. She was wearing a sweater, jeans, and boots. She smiled and then asked, “How long have you two been courting?”
Lois, feeling self-conscious, sat up straight.
Sara chuckled. “Lois, do you know who else Moses has been courting?”
When Lois didn’t answer, Sara tapped her chest. “Me.”
Moses leaned backward. “Sara, you know that’s not true.”
Sara pointed at Moses. “You’re a two-timer.”
Glancing from Sara to Moses, Lois stood and stepped over the log. Moses reached for her hand. She jerked it away.
Lois had always been intimidated by Sara’s confidence and beauty. Lois wasn’t going to compete with her in front of Moses and everyone else. She headed toward where the cars were parked, hoping Moses would come after her. Soon footsteps followed her. She let out a sigh of relief.
“Lois!” It was Casey. “I’ll take you home.”
She turned and shook her head. “I’ll ask Mark Miller. He lives close by.”
She fought back tears the entire ride. Moses hadn’t come after her.
Sara hadn’t been lying.
Moses had betrayed her. Lois had never felt so rejected in her entire life.
She’d been fighting those memories since she first saw Moses in the shop in late April. Now, as it all came rushing back, she felt like she had riding back to the apartment with Mark Miller.
“Lois?” Amy stood with the wooden spoon in her hand. “Are you listening?”
“Jah. Sorry.”
“So anyway, Moses ended up driving Casey’s car that night. Sara was in the back seat and Casey was in the front. Moses took a turn too fast, or something like that, and rolled the car. Casey ended up with a compound fracture in his tibia. Sara had a really bad concussion that took months to heal.”
“What about Moses? Was he all right?”
“Perfectly fine.”
“Had he been drinking?”
“Nee. They tested him. Not a drop. However, Sara had been.”
Lois flinched. That could have explained Sara’s behavior, but not Moses’s.
Amy said, “Casey said Sara was drunk. Bennie and I always wondered if she distracted Moses while he tried to drive her home.”