Chapter 4
four
INDIGO
This was a mistake. I can’t believe I let Lola talk me into this.
“Indie. Inds. Indigo, stop.” Lola shouts after me as I dodge boisterous hockey fans and weave through surging crowds.
I can’t stop. If I stop, I may lose the battle I’m fighting with myself, turn around, and beg someone to find him for me.
Never, in a million years, did I think he’d spot me. And I never thought I’d be the reason he was distracted enough to take a hit. Because he had been distracted. The cage of his helmet made it hard to catch the nuance of his expression, but I saw enough. He was shocked to see me.
But was it a good shock or a bad one?
Probably a bad one.
Why would he want to see the girl he ditched when he was eighteen?
“Seriously, Indie, fucking stop,” Lola calls. I slow down enough to let her catch up with me.
According to my app, our rideshare driver is already outside waiting for us. I set one up as soon as Bash recognized me because panic set in and I needed to run.
“We need to go back. He tried to get your attention after the game ended.” She finally catches up and grabs my hand, pulling me to a stop. A few of the people around us grumble at the sudden roadblock, but my best friend couldn’t care less. “He wanted to talk to you.”
“You’re imagining things.”
She arches one perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Really? That’s how you want to play this?”
“Yes.”
Lola shakes her head. Her disappointment is palpable, but it won’t sway me. “Girl. You’ve spent ten years running from your feelings, but when your life blew up, he was the one you wanted to be near. You can’t tell me you don’t want to see what he has to say.”
It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I don’t think I can.
“I don’t.” After a few more grumbled insults from the surrounding people, I tug her hand and drag her through the crowds toward the exit.
“You’re running.”
Damn right I am. Like the hounds of hell are on my heels.
I thought I was over him. I thought I’d moved on, even if my heart had never fully healed from his rejection. Looking at photos of him online and reading articles detailing who he’d been linked with and what he’d been doing had desensitized me.
Or so I had convinced myself.
But when those rich brown eyes met mine, I was eighteen again, the hope in my heart shattering at my feet when I realized the boy I loved didn’t love me back. Every nerve in my body burned with that rejection, as if it were happening all over again.
I don’t trust my ability to hide how much it still affects me if I were to stand in front of him and have a conversation. He’d think I’m pathetic.
“Judge me all you want. I simply can’t do it.”
Lola sighs, giving my hand a squeeze as we finally push through the exit and out into the cold, early March night. “I’m not judging you, Inds. I just want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“Sure. Yeah.”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine isn’t happy.”
No, but right now, it’s the best I can do, and that’s going to have to be enough.
SEBASTIAN
Griffin hands me a beer the moment I walk through his door. “Mira’s at Isla’s with the ladies, and pizza is on the way.”
“Thanks.” Lifting the bottle to my lips, I take a deep sip before following Griffin into the living room, where the rest of the guys spread out on the couches, nursing their own beers.
“Hey, man. How’s your head?” Maddox asks.
“Fine. Seriously.” Well, fine in the sense that I’m not hurt. But it is a fucking mess. Not much to be done about that, though.
“Good. You looked pretty out of it after that hit.”
I nod, lowering myself into the open armchair that faces both couches. “Yeah. That wasn’t from the hit.”
“We kinda figured after you demanded Todd find some woman for you,” Ryder says. He rubs his jaw, watching me. “You want to tell us about that?”
“Not really.”
Griffin chuckles. “Tough shit, Bashy. Spill.”
Indie’s face flashes through my mind when I close my eyes. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I suck in a deep breath, will my heart to stop pounding, and try to decide where to start.
“I met her when we were both fourteen. I grew up in this town in Maine that was close to a little island where a lot of rich people summer. My dad worked as a chef there—still does—and he’d cross the bridge between Trenton and Mount Desert Island every day because that’s where the rich and famous spend their summers and the high-earning professionals work during the rest of the year. ”
There were plenty of days when my mom lamented the forty-five minute commute each way when she was dragging me and my brothers to hockey practice alone, but living in Trenton is so much cheaper than living in Bar Harbor or the surrounding island towns, it allowed them to pay for our hockey costs.
It was a sacrifice they made for me, and I’ve pushed to be the best so I can show my appreciation however I can since I went pro.
Paid off their mortgage, bought them a new car… I owe them everything.
“Anyway. When I was fourteen, I begged my parents to let me get a summer job on the island. They were struggling to pay for the hockey clubs I was a part of, and I wanted to help. My dad found me a job selling concessions at a pool, and he’d bring me with him to the island two or three days a week so I could work.
When my shifts ended, I’d hang out along the beach or wander around the downtown area. ”
I suck in a deep breath. If I close my eyes, I can still smell the salt in the air and hear the gulls as they harassed tourists on the beach. I can still see the way she looked the first time I ever laid eyes on her.
“That’s where I met her.”
“And who is her, exactly?” Logan asks.
“Indie Bloom.” The love of my fucking life. The girl who got away.
“Why does that name sound familiar?” Maddox tilts his head to the side and frowns. “Have we ever met her?”
“Doubt it,” I tell him. “But you probably have heard her name. Her parents are Vivian Marsh and Robert Bloom.”
Ryder’s eyes grow wide, his jaw dropping. “Wait, the movie stars?”
I nod. “They spent summers in Bar Harbor. I met Indie one afternoon after my shift ended at the pool. Saved her from a gang of hungry seagulls when they swarmed her and started stealing the sandwich she was trying to eat.”
God, that had been hilarious. One minute I’m walking down the beach, bored, and the next I hear an indignant shriek and a shouted, Get away from me, you disgusting creatures!
Then I was watching this short, blonde girl try to fight off fifteen hungry, pushy seagulls who were working together as a pack to steal her sandwich.
I didn’t even think, just ran at them, shouting.
I’m not sure who was more startled—Indie, or the birds.
But when the shock wore off, Indie looked at me with wide eyes, tipped her head back, and laughed.
It was the freest, brightest sound I’d ever heard, and that was the moment I fell in love with her, even if I didn’t realize it until much later.
“We spent the rest of the afternoon together, and when my dad called to tell me it was time to go, she looked so disappointed. I told her I’d be back the next day and asked if she wanted to meet on the beach again. We spent almost every day together after that for the rest of the summer.”
“That’s fuckin’ adorable,” Griffin says, grinning.
I rub the back of my neck, reclining in the seat. “We’d text each other all the time. And every summer, we spent as much time together as we could. She was one of my best friends. But when I was sixteen, I realized she was also the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”
“So you dated?” Griffin leans forward, his elbows propped on his knees.
I’m not surprised he’s eating this up. He’s always been a romantic at heart, and he’s the one who encouraged Maddox, Ryder, and Logan the most when they fell in love.
“Nope.” I let a soul-deep sigh gust out of my lungs. “She lived in LA, I lived in Maine… About as far apart as you could get. And we only had a month and a half together in the summer. It would have been pointless, you know?”
It was a reality I lamented often. We texted, talked, and video chatted whenever we could, but none of that was the same as being with someone.
“But you said you were in love with her,” Logan says.
“I was,” I agree. “Don’t think I ever stopped loving her.”
Ryder takes a sip of his beer. “So what happened?”
I don’t want to tell them the whole story. I’m sore and exhausted, and I want to stew on this for a bit. “I was going to tell her how I felt the summer after our senior year of high school, but she left without a word before I got a chance.”
“Aaand…?” Griffin makes a keep talking motion with his hand.
“You gonna give us more than that?” Maddox asks, brow furrowed.
“At some point, yeah. I just don’t have it in me tonight.
Long story short, she either blocked me or had to change her number, and she’s private as hell.
Indie’s always hated the spotlight her parents’ careers shine on her, so she doesn’t have any social media that I’m aware of.
I’ve tried everything I could think of over the years to get in touch with her, but it’s like she’s a ghost.”
One that haunts me, still.
Maddox nods. “But she’s here now.”
“I’m sure it was her at the game.”
Griffin nods, understanding coloring his expression. “You want help finding her.”
“Would the team be able to pull up her info from her ticket purchase?” Logan asks. “Even if it’s only a credit card number, maybe we could find her that way?”
Ryder shakes his head. “There’s no way they’d do that. Not even for one of us. That would be a huge breach of privacy.”
“Then, what’s the plan?” Griffin asks. “We could put up have you seen this woman posters or something? Post her photo on our social media and ask for help.”
“No.” That would make her run faster. “She would hate that. Completely hate that.”
“Okay. Do you have any idea where she works or what she does?”
Indie was planning to major in English Lit with a focus on creative writing, but I’ve never seen a book published under her name.
That’s not to say she couldn’t have a pen name, but maybe she changed her mind once she started school.
Something I always admired about Indie was that she could pick up just about anything and be good at it.
She could be doing literally anything right now.
“I haven’t spoken to her since we were eighteen. I have no idea.”
Griffin rubs the scruff of his jaw, frowning. “Well, shit. We’ll keep brainstorming.”
Ten years. Ten years, I’ve been looking for Indie Bloom, and tonight, I saw her. But I have no way to contact her, and I want to crawl out of my skin.
I never considered how painful it might be to see her and lose her all over again.
“Don’t worry, man.” Logan gives my shoulder a squeeze as he stands to grab another beer. “You’ll find her. It’ll work out. It has to.”
“Yeah.”
I’ll just wave my magic wand, say a little spell, and summon her to appear out of the almost four million people in the Twin Cities.