Chapter 20
twenty
SEBASTIAN
Well, shit. I came here to talk to Indie, not grind her on my lap until I unloaded in my boxers. Talk about losing my grip on my control. I’m not mad about it, but it does pose a problem, since I don’t have a change of clothes.
“Fuck, Indie.” I bury my face in her neck and groan as we both come down from our orgasms. I want more. It would be so easy to flip us over, spread her out on this bed, and make her come on my fingers, my tongue, and my dick.
But I need to be smart. Indie isn’t some random woman. She’s endgame. The woman I have imagined growing old with more times than I can count. Which means this is a long game, and I can’t overplay my hand.
Carefully, gently, I lift her off my lap before my cum can seep through my boxers and make a mess of my jeans too. The flush on her cheeks deepens, and the blissed-out expression she was wearing shifts into a slight frown.
“Sorry. I need to go clean up before everything I’m wearing is wet.
” Leaning forward, I kiss her, hard, so she knows that’s the only reason I’m getting up.
Because I knew Indie had some serious insecurities, but after our brief discussion tonight, I’m realizing I may have underestimated how deeply they’ve impacted her life. “Where’s your bathroom?”
“Next door,” she whispers, watching me.
“I’ll get you a washcloth. I may be a minute or two, I’m going to give my boxers a little scrub with some hand soap and hang them on the tub to dry.” It’s my turn to blush.
Indie’s eyes widen, and she laughs. It’s the most perfect sound. Bright and tinkling and free. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. That was the hottest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
I arch one eyebrow at her. “Trust me, sweetheart. It is.” I plant another quick kiss on her lips before climbing off the bed and waddling out of the room because my boxers are filled with cum. Indie finds this hilarious, and the sound of her laughter follows me into the bathroom.
When I catch my reflection in the mirror, it’s almost startling. I look like a different person. Lighter. Happier. Hopeful.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” I whisper to myself. Then I make quick work of cleaning myself up and giving my boxers a quick scrub. When I’m done, I root around the bathroom until I find a small stack of washcloths and wet one with warm water. Have to take care of my girl.
She’s sitting on her bed with her knees tucked up under her chin, her arms wrapped around herself. Those familiar hazel eyes track me as I walk in with the washcloth, waiting to see what I’ll say or do.
“Hey, pretty girl, let’s get you cleaned up.” I hold the washcloth up and do a little wave, which has her whole chest and face flushing a bright shade of pink.
“Oh, no, I can do that in the bathroom. It’s fine.” She shifts on the bed, her gaze darting between me and the closed bedroom door.
“Let me take care of you.”
“I should change my undies, anyway.”
Indie may have let go when we were in the heat of the moment, but it’s clearly going to take some time and effort to get her truly comfortable. And that’s fine. I can be patient. I have lots of practice with patience. “Okay. Here.”
I hand her the washcloth as she scurries past me, quickly digs through a drawer to grab a pair of panties, which she hides in her fist, then escapes to the bathroom.
She’s cute as hell.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. There’s a brief pause, then the thing buzzes again and again. Glancing at the door, I figure I have a few minutes to check in with the guys and tell them to chill out. The last thing I want is to wake up to two hundred text messages.
It’s happened before, and I’m sure it will happen again. But not tonight.
Griffin
How’s it going, Bashy-cakes? Have you locked your woman down yet?
Maddox
Dude, it’s been like an hour.
Griffin
I know. That’s plenty of time.
Ryder
I don’t want to bug him, but I’m curious too.
Logan
It’s nice having all of this aimed at someone else now that Blair and I are together. You guys are a lot.
Griffin
A lot of awesomeness.
Logan
Sure.
Griffin
Rude.
Maddox
Boys. No fighting.
Ryder
Uh-oh. You’re making Dad mad. Now you’re in for it.
Maddox
Really, rookie? You’re usually a voice of reason.
Ryder
I’ve had too many beers. Don’t ground me.
Maddox
Sigh.
Chuckling, I start typing, hoping I can rein them in before Maddox gets really annoyed and takes it out on us during practice tomorrow. The last thing we need is to be sore going into this next series.
Me
Things are going well. We still have a lot to talk about, but we’re clearing the air.
Griffin
Hell yeah, Bash. She your girlfriend yet?
Me
That’s probably a little premature.
Kind of like the way I came in my pants.
Griffin
Nah, dude. When you know, you know.
Me
Well, I know, but she needs to know too.
Maddox
I’m glad things are going well.
Ryder
Yeah, man, me too.
Logan
Happy for you, bro.
Me: Thanks, guys. Now if you could please stop texting a million times, I’m going to go spend some time with Indie. I’ll update you tomorrow.
Griffin
Use protection.
Maddox
Really?
Logan
Unless you want little Sebastians toddling around. Which would actually be super cute.
Ryder
Says the guy who never wanted kids. Having a teenage almost-son has changed you. I like it.
Logan
What can I say? I still don’t want babies of my own, but I won’t be mad if you guys have some. It would be fun to be Uncle Logan.
Me
Guys. We’re not making any babies. Now I’m turning my phone off. I love you all, but you don’t know when to shut up.
Griffin
We love you too, Bashy baby. Have fun. Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.
Maddox
You’d do just about anything.
Griffin
I know.
Me
GOODNIGHT.
My phone keeps buzzing, so I give up and turn it off right as Indie opens her bedroom door and hesitantly steps back in. She’s beautiful. Flushed and glowing, I want to see her like this every day. What I don’t want to see are the insecurities that have her hesitating in the doorway.
I cross the room in five long strides, pull her through the door, and quietly shut it behind her. Then I bend over and scoop her up into my arms, chuckling at the startled squeak she lets out.
“Bash, put me down. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I ask, absolutely not putting her down. In fact, I stop dead in my tracks and stand there in the middle of the room, staring down at her while I enjoy her softness against me.
“I’m too heavy.”
All I can do is blink at her a few times before a laugh tears out of me. “Sweetheart, don’t insult me.”
“I’m not!”
“Then don’t insult yourself.”
“I…” Indie stares up at me, lost for words.
“I could do this all day, but I know that would make you uncomfortable. So I’m going to hold you long enough to make my point.
You’re not too heavy. You’re perfect, Indie.
You’re soft and strong and beautiful. Hell, you just made me come in my pants like a teenage dirtbag, and I’m already hard again from holding your body next to mine. ”
The way the flush of her cheeks works its way down to her chest isn’t helping my dick calm down. Nor is the way her mouth opens in a little O, because all I can think about is how that mouth would look wrapped around my cock.
“I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.
Now I think you’re the most beautiful woman.
” I move to the bed and sit with her still cradled against me.
“So trust me when I say that the only way you could hurt me is by pulling away when I finally have you in my arms after a decade of wanting you.”
“You have to say that.”
Huffing out a breath, I shake my head. “No, I don’t. Indie, we lost ten years with each other because of a misunderstanding. Do you really think I’m going to be anything but honest with you right now?”
She blinks rapidly while staring at me. “No?”
“Correct. Now, do you believe me when I tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world?”
“Yes?”
Chuckling, I rest my forehead against hers. “Infuriating woman. But that’s fine. You don’t believe me right now, but you will. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I’m sorry, I just…”
She sucks her lower lip between her teeth, and my idiot dick hardens again. And I know she feels it when she shifts on my lap, trying to get comfortable, then goes stiff as a board. Or my dick.
“Right. I know you feel that, Rosebud. So despite what your brain is telling you right now, my body is backing me up. You’re sexy as hell. Your body turns me on in a way no one else ever has. But it’s more than that, and you know it.”
I have to be careful here. Indie’s a flight risk, and while I’ve spent the last ten years wondering why she disappeared, she spent them thinking I’d chosen someone else over her. We’re starting from different places, and I need to remember that.
Slow and steady. Controlled and deliberate.
“Go on a date with me.”
“Was that a question?” She arches an eyebrow at me, her lips quirking up in a smile.
“If you need it to be. Please, Indie. Go on a date with me. Let me plan something romantic and give me the chance to show you how much I still care about you. How much I still want you.” My heart thunders away in my chest as we stare into each other’s eyes and silence stretches between us.
“I’m only here temporarily.” It’s a whispered objection, but it’s a weak one.
I shrug. “I know. All the more reason not to waste time.” I certainly don’t plan to.
Indie may have grown up in Hollywood, but she hates it.
Whatever objections she has about her time here being limited, the only things keeping her in California are her parents and Lola, and her parents are gone more than they’re home.
Even with their careers slowing down, I know they still spend months at a time on location.
Lola could be the more difficult objection to overcome, so I’ll need to convince her best friend to stay too.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll have my agent approach the LA Stars about playing there.
“I don’t know, Bash.” She sighs and, breaking eye contact with me, looks down at her hands, which are twisting in her lap.
“Why Minneapolis, Indigo?”
She looks up at me again. “What?”
“You could have gone anywhere. Why here?”
“I…”
I’m not sure if she does it consciously, but Indie grabs my shirt with the hand closest to my body and wraps it in her fist. She blinks at me, her mind working almost visibly, as she decides how to answer.
Give me the truth, sweetheart, I silently implore.
“Come on. There must have been a reason.”
“I wanted to go somewhere without photographers lurking around every corner. Somewhere far away from LA.”
I nod. “Sure. But that could have been anywhere. Chicago, New York. Hell, it could have been somewhere remote and secluded, like a little mountain town in Vermont. But you didn’t pick any of those places. You chose the Twin Cities. And I want to know why.”
“Do we really need to have this conversation?” Her grip on my shirt tightens as her tone sharpens.
“I think we do. Because the only reason I can think why you’d choose Minneapolis is because I’m here.”
Silence.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Rosebud.”
God, her internal struggle is painful to watch, and I’m tempted to back off and let her hide for a little longer. Pushing her might backfire. It could cause her to retreat or run back to LA. She could change her number again and disappear for another ten years, or maybe forever this time.
But she could also admit that some part of her missed me enough that she chose the Twin Cities to be close. And that, I fear, is the only way forward.
“Well?”
“Bash,” she whispers, pleading.
I don’t offer her the out she’s asking for.
“Fine,” she says. Her voice wavers, and I tighten my grip on her.
“I wanted to be where you were, okay? It was getting to be too much, and when they started publishing stories mentioning me again, all I could think about was how you used to get so pissed on my behalf. I’d see an unflattering photo of myself with some cruel caption, and the voice in my head telling me to ignore the assholes was yours. ”
My heart stutters and nearly stalls. I hate that she’s been going through that, but to hear that all these years later, even after she thought I rejected her, that mine was the voice of acceptance she heard?
It gives me a dangerous amount of hope.
“You were the reason I got through all of that the first time, you know? And I knew I probably wouldn’t see you, but even being in the same city as you, I felt like that might give me the strength I needed. It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid, but I—”
“It’s not stupid,” I say, gripping her chin when she tries to look away from me. “It’s not stupid.”
A thick silence unfurls between us, but I don’t hurry to break it. There’s possibility in this silence. Like the fates are unspooling a new future, and it’s delicate enough that I don’t want to do anything to disturb it.
Indie rewards my patience when she quietly says, “You were always my safe place. And I wanted to feel safe again.”
Light fills my chest. It infuses every single cell in my body, renewing me. Recreating me.
After ten years of missing her, searching for her, and resigning myself to a life without her, Indigo Rose Bloom is here, in my lap, asking me to be her safe place.
“Indie.” I brush my thumb along her jaw, memorizing every micro-expression that flickers across her face. Then I lean in and press my lips to hers in a slow, lingering kiss that leaves us both breathless. “You’ll always be safe with me.”
I’m a goalie. Protecting is what I do.