Chapter 22
twenty-two
INDIGO
Sitting in the coffee shop, my fingers fly over the keyboard, the words flowing. Ever since our make-out session two nights ago and the things Sebastian said yesterday before he left, I’m flying high.
It’s amazing what happiness can do for your productivity.
Inspired by the events of the other night, my heroine and her doctor fake boyfriend find themselves in a situation where the validity of their relationship is called into question.
To prove they really are together, they start kissing in front of the heroine’s evil stepsister, but instead of stopping when she stomps off, my plucky heroine and her doctor keep kissing until they’re grinding together in his office.
She’s incredibly pleased with herself when she makes him explode in his suit pants.
I may be against self-inserting, but everyone knows that life can imitate art. It can also inspire it, and grown men coming in their pants because they’re so turned on by the woman they love will always be hot as hell.
My cheeks are probably pink by the time I finish typing the scene, hoping no one read any of that over my shoulder.
The messaging app on my laptop pops open with a text.
Sebastian
Good morning, Rosebud. You writing?
Grinning, I reply immediately. I should probably play it cool and make him wait for a response, but I can’t. I’m too giddy about things between us.
Me
Morning. I am. Are you getting ready to leave?
Sebastian
Yeah. Just got to the airfield. We’re waiting for the okay to board.
Me
Is everyone ready for the series?
Sebastian
Everyone’s pumped. We wish it was starting at home, but that’s okay. We’ll have to clinch it in four and win it in our barn.
Me
I believe in you.
Sebastian
Thanks, sweetheart. How’s the writing going? How’s Lola?
Me
Writing is good. Making lots of progress.
I don’t tell him that he inspired the scene I just wrote. I can never tell him. Talk about embarrassing.
Sebastian
I’d love to read it. Or anything you’ve written.
Me
Oh, sure. Maybe.
I need to change the subject because I’m not ready to let Sebastian read anything I’ve written.
If I let him read my published works, he’ll discover my pen name, then who knows how many other people will find out?
If I let him read something I wrote prior to my professional works, he’ll be reading a romance I published on a fanfic platform that was not-so-loosely based on him.
Now that was a self-insert. It was the one and only time I indulged myself in the temptation to write my own happily ever after with Sebastian Navarro.
It was cringe and immature, and the only reason I haven’t deleted it is because the story had a small but loyal fan following, and I can’t bring myself to do it.
Me
Lola wants to date a hockey player. You don’t happen to know any PWHL players who are looking for a girlfriend, do you?
There’s a pause for a few minutes, then several messages come through, one after the other.
Sebastian
I don’t, but Griffin does.
Sebastian
He wants to know what Lola’s type is?
Sebastian
And is she good with dating someone here? LA doesn’t have a PWHL team yet.
Me
Lola needs someone steady and easygoing to offset her brand of chaos. She tends to like more masc women, but that’s not a hard-and-fast rule. It’s more about the person than the package for her.
Me
And yes to someone from here. It’s not like she’ll find someone she wants to marry.
Sebastian
You never know.
My stomach does a little flip at that, because I can’t help wondering if he’s thinking that about us too.
Stop it, Indie. Nothing good will come from getting ahead of yourself.
Sebastian
Griffin asked if you could send a couple photos of Lola. He’ll put some feelers out with his friend on the Minnesota Lightning.
Me
Tell him thanks. That would make her day.
Sebastian
I’m more worried about making yours.
My stomach does another little flip, and I’m grinning like an idiot, but I don’t care. I can’t believe this is happening.
Sebastian
They’re letting us board, so I have to go. I’ll text you when we land, okay? Have a fun day, Rosebud. Miss you.
Me
Fly safe. I miss you too.
Closing out of the messaging app, I get back to work, newly invigorated by our text exchange.
I write the next chapter from my heroine’s point of view.
She’s confused about her feelings after the intense make-out session with her fake boyfriend, because they’re definitely not fake, and she doesn’t know what it means.
Does he like her? Or did things just get out of hand? Does he regret it? Does she?
My messaging app pops up again, and I grin, expecting to see another text from Sebastian. Maybe Griffin has more questions about Lola.
Except, my excitement is short-lived because it’s not Bash.
Ryland
Hey, Indigo. It’s been a while. I just realized I left my favorite jacket at your place. Can I swing by and grab it?
All those fizzy, pleasant feelings that had been bubbling up in my belly from Sebastian’s texts pop and disappear, replaced with a hollow sort of dread.
I haven’t heard from Ryland since we broke up, and that’s been okay with me.
It hurt to realize he hadn’t been dating me because he actually liked me.
And while part of me wasn’t all that surprised by the revelation, that doesn’t mean it didn’t leave a mark.
Of course, he’d text me when I’m finally feeling good about myself and life.
Ryland
Maybe we could grab a coffee and catch up.
That is the last thing I’d want to do, even if I hadn’t reconnected with Sebastian, but I don’t need to let Ryland know that. I can’t reveal that he has any power to affect me anymore. Even if it’s only a small amount of power.
Me
Can’t, sorry. Not in town.
Ryland
You’re not? Oh, that’s right. Your mom mentioned something about a little girl’s trip with Lola. When will you be back?
How does he manage to sound condescending even in a text?
Me
Not sure. It won’t be for at least another month.
The ellipsis that tells me Ryland is typing flashes on the screen, disappears, then reappears. This happens a few times before his next text comes through.
Ryland
Where are you?
Me
Not in LA, but outside of that, I don’t see how it matters.
Ryland
Come on, babe. Don’t be like that. We used to be friends.
My body stiffens when I read the babe. I hate the way he can be so dismissive of me but turn it around to make me feel like I’m the one being ridiculous or overreacting.
Me
What jacket? I’ll ask my mom to look for it. My dad can give it to you if she finds it.
Ryland
The navy one with the pink pinstripes. Seriously, Indigo, where are you?
Me
I’ll let you know if my mom finds it.
Ryland
You’re really not going to tell me?
Me
Bye, Ryland.
When he doesn’t keep pushing, I breathe a sigh of relief, but my flow has been well and truly interrupted. Despite my best efforts for the next half an hour, I don’t get much written and decide to close my writing program.
At least I can get some administrative things done.
Opening my emails, I find a follow-up from Elise regarding the publisher’s request that I reveal my identity and agree to a book tour for this next release.
She has my best interests at heart, and part of me wishes I was brave enough to own my pen name and my books, but I can’t help worry about the attention it will bring. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
I know what Lola thinks. She thinks I should go for it. I just wish I had someone else to talk to. It’s tempting to bring Bash in on my secret, but the risk of him finding that old fanfic about him is too mortifying.
Maybe, eventually, I’ll find the courage to reveal everything to him, but we only recently reconnected. It’s too soon. Plus, he’s focused on the postseason, and I don’t want to be a distraction.
So I take the easy out and promise Elise I’m considering it, but that I need more time before giving her a decision.
I can’t put it off forever. If I give them the go-ahead, they’ll want to develop a whole marketing strategy around it, and they’ll need time to book signings with bookstores around the country.
It’s a lot to consider.
When I’ve gone through all of my emails and knocked out some other administrative tasks I’ve been putting off, I give my mom a call. She’s in LA while my dad is on location in some South American country, so if I’m going to have anyone check for Ryland’s jacket, it has to be her.
She answers on the fourth ring. “Hey, honey.”
“Hi, Mom. How are you?”
“Great. It’s looking like I’ll be booking that part I told you about last time.” She sounds excited. Her voice is brighter than it’s been in months, and I’m genuinely glad for it. My mom may not have been the most present parent, but I love her and want her to be happy.
“That’s awesome, Mom.”
“Thanks, honey. How are you? How’s Minnesota?” There’s rustling in the background, and I know she must be in the middle of doing something. She always is. It’s one of the reasons our conversations are always so brief.
“It’s good. Really good, actually.” Thinking about everything that’s happened has me smiling, and my mom must hear it, because she perks up even more.
“Oh, yeah? You sound happy. Is there a boy?”
I roll my eyes, even though I’m still smiling. Even during a divorce with my dad, she still equates happiness with men. “Mom.”
“I know, I know. You don’t need a man to be happy.
But is it so wrong for me to hope you find love?
I want grandbabies some day. Not yet, of course.
I’m too young to be a grandma.” She laughs, and I join her.
Because she’s not too young to be a grandma, but of course that’s what she’s worried about.
“It’s not wrong, but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Okay. What’s up, then?”
“Can you check in my cottage to see if Ryland left a jacket there? It’s navy with pink pinstripes. If it’s there, it’s probably shoved in the back of a drawer or stuck in couch cushions or something. If it were somewhere obvious, I would have found it and given it back to him.”
My mom hums. “Of course. Are the two of you talking again? Is that why you sound happy?”
“No. He only texted me to ask about the jacket. We are definitely not talking again.”
“Okay. I’ll check later today and let you know. I can leave it with one of the staff for him if I do, since your father is on location right now.” She emphasizes father in a way that divulges how things are going with them, so I avoid asking about him.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Of course. Is there anything else, honey? I’d love to keep chatting, but I have an appointment with my stylist in half an hour.
” There’s more rustling in the background, and I can almost see her flipping through the clothes in her closet, carefully deciding what she should wear to the appointment.
It’ll have to be something that makes her look youthful and happy.
Can’t let the masses know she’s feeling anything but triumphant in her battle with Dad.
“No, that’s it.”
“Okay, well, don’t be a stranger. I love you, Indigo. I miss you.” She sounds distant. Like her mind’s already done with our conversation and she’s wholly focused on getting ready for her appointment. It’s nothing new, and it shouldn’t be disappointing, but it is.
“Miss you too, Mom.”
“Kisses, baby.” She hangs up before I can say goodbye, and I sigh.
I wish Sebastian wasn’t in the air, because I felt so good after our text exchange, and the urge to call him is overwhelming.
But he promised to text when they land. For now, I’ll head back to the bungalow and let Lola cheer me up.
I’ll tell her that Griffin is going to try to hook her up with a Professional Women’s Hockey League player and let her reaction give me a dopamine boost.