Chapter Forty-Three Samira #2
His words were an anchor to the outside world, offering a lifeline through the haze that had settled around me. I clung to them and peeled my forehead away, breaths jagged.
As soon as our runes were no longer touching, the heat receded. I could feel its absence like a physical thing.
Rade looked at me, face flushed and eyes heavy-lidded. I was sure I looked the same.
I couldn’t find my voice for several moments, the only sound the snapping of the campfire and our own heavy panting.
“What…” My voice cracked. I swallowed and tried again. “What was that?”
His chest heaved as he stared at me with those luminous eyes. “Our powers meeting.”
I shook my head, knowing that wasn’t what it was at all. No, that was… that was something else entirely.
My gaze dropped to where my hand still rested above his thundering heart, just as his remained over mine. “Is that what it’ll feel like?” I managed. “After we finish the Merging?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered back, slumberous eyes locked on my lips. “No one’s done this in many years but… I think so.”
My breath came out in a stream. I didn’t know what to make of that.
Whatever he’d just done had felt good. Really good.
But also… slightly wrong. Because this was Rade.
At some point over the last several weeks, I’d come to think of him as my friend.
What just happened was too sensual to be friendly.
Maids in the Gods-Chosen’s chambers were not permitted suitors. Obedient worker that I was, I had not even looked at a man for fear of disappointing the Gods-Chosen and the Seven Monarchs. But as my heart struggled to resume its usual pace, I realized just how ignorant I was.
Rade had promised he would not force himself on me, and I believed him.
But he thought the Gods-Chosen was going to be his wife.
How many times had I seen men stumble over themselves for a mere kiss from Amunet?
And how many times had I seen those same men turn cruel when they were rebuffed?
Far too many. And the way Rade was looking at me… I recognized that look.
Giving up my body for the Gods-Chosen filled me with dread every day, but I’d resigned myself to it. It only now occurred to me that doing so might not only include death.
As if sensing my spiraling thoughts, Rade cleared his throat and pulled away. He took a few moments tending to the fire, obviously stalling, before he finally said, “It had to be done, Amunet. If our magic didn’t meet, the Merging wouldn’t work. I’m sorry if it was… unpleasant.”
I gazed at him, looking for any hidden meaning behind those words. But there was no indication that he’d noticed anything amiss with my “magic.” “It was more than I expected.”
He nodded, face contemplative. “About half of Kaldfolk are Shifters. Just the luck of the draw. Enhanced senses, inhuman strength, deep, unfailing loyalty. I’m not a Shifter, but after I got my runes and it became obvious I’d be king, I knew I wanted Shifters in my inner circle.
I bonded with seven of them. Eight, now that we have a new Second.
It felt similar to this. Not totally,” he allowed. “But similar.”
“We’re bonded?”
“We will be when we’ve finished the Merging.” He struggled to meet my eyes. “That was just a taste.”
I digested that. “Does it leave a mark?”
He tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean?”
“Like a mating mark?”
“What?” Rade startled. “Where did you hear that?”
Heat crawled up my neck. “From Velka at the Lunar Feast. Merging sounds like mating, so I thought—”
“It’s nothing like mating.”
“Oh.” The burn of embarrassment spread higher.
A smile curved his lips as he noticed my blush, and he huffed a laugh, a bit of the tension dissipating between us.
“Mating is purely a Shifter thing. I couldn’t do it even if I wanted to.
Something to do with their animal spirits.
They bite each other to lay claim to one another’s bodies… among other things.”
“Oh,” I repeated, and coughed awkwardly. I wondered who Velka’s mate was. I hadn’t noticed her spending significant time with anyone in particular. But to put my burning cheeks out of their misery, I changed the subject. “So you’ve been through all of this before.”
“A version of it,” he agreed. “It’s faster with Shifters.
All that’s required to bond with them is a ride while they’re in their bear forms. It requires trust and surrender from rider and Shifter.
But after each ride, it felt like I got to keep a piece of them with me.
” Rade rubbed his chest, as if he could feel them there.
“The intensity of it fades with time, but it never fully goes away.”
I studied him. Despite his words, he seemed almost sad. Even with my uncertain feelings over what just happened, compassion welled within me. I reached across and took his hand.
His head jerked up in surprise. But I just gave him a small smile, his hand warm in mine.
The king glanced down at our joined hands and swallowed.
“It’s meant to be a marriage ritual,” he said.
“It makes sense that it would be more… concentrated.” He stroked his thumb over my knuckles.
“I’m sorry, Amunet. I should have known. I’d have warned you if I had.”
A small smile lifted my lips. “I know.”
Rade returned my smile and patted my hand. “Get some rest. I’ll keep watch.”
I nodded and stretched out on the ground, turning over to hide my face.
Exhaustion weighed me down. Not just in my fatigued limbs, but a soul-deep exhaustion that no amount of sleep would fix.
A pound added every time someone called me Amunet or Your Majesty.
The result of lying with my every breath.
I was so sick of it.
Nine days. That was all the time I had left. Nine days, and then my twenty-two years on this earth would be over. Forgotten. And the last thing I would have done was deceive a group of people in desperate need of help.
With Ketet having turned her back on me and the Kaldfolk one confession away from loathing me, Amunet Khada really was the only one I had left. And for the first time in sixteen years, I scorned her for it.