16
GIOVANN I
“ Q uite the nasty mess back there.”
I shiver at the intonation in the voice coming from the phone by my ear. We’ve only just returned to Sera’s compound. After hanging out in the tree line, in case we had any other unexpected visitors, Rafael Mancini finally pulled up with a convoy of his own. The entire journey back was filled with tension and unanswered questions. Sera took one look at Mancini before she punched Luca in the shoulder. I sense there’s some history between Raf and Sera. Though I’m not quite sure what that is right now, but it still seems fresh.
I pace out into the courtyard, turning a corner to find some privacy. This area is unlit, away from prying eyes and apparently security, too. I’ll have to get that fixed.
“What do you want?” I growl when I know I’m not in earshot of anyone.
“I’m just checking to see if you're okay. It has been a while.”
Two weeks to be precise. I guess getting a longer reprieve was too much to ask for.
My lips pinch together and my fists curl. I can feel my face heating up as I clench my teeth.
After everything, the fucker wants to check if I’m okay? If I wasn’t so fucking angry, I would believe their words. This asshole doesn’t care at all. This asshole wouldn’t have cared if I was caught in the crossfire tonight, or killed in the collision. They don’t give two shits about me leaving this world, leaving everything in my life behind. All they care about is eliminating enemies.
I’m starting to see both the irony and appeal in that now.
“You can’t keep calling me.”
“I’m pretty sure I can do what I like, Giovanni.” I can practically hear the smirk down the phone, like they’re enjoying the darkness I’m falling into.
I pace back and forth, tugging at the sweaty strands of hair flopping in front of my face.
“How is she?”
I pause my agitated pacing, lingering on the edges of the shadows that surround the compound.
On a deep breath, I answer. “She’s alive.”
I have no idea how. In fact, I have no idea how either of us survived it. That crash was fatal, it could have changed a lot of lives because while I thought I was in control, I wasn’t.
“Hmm…” the voice hums.
My stomach twists while bitterness makes my blood flash hot and cold.
“Is that all you have to say?” I snap.
“Stay safe, Giovanni.”
I grip the phone tightly when I’m met with the dead tone of an ended call. “ Merda !”
My muscles twitch. All the rage that has been building up inside of me comes crashing down. The darkness I’ve been fighting, the sadness I’ve been avoiding, the guilt I’ve been pushing away—it all hits me at once. My fist slams into the wooden siding of the Bianchi house, my knuckles splitting instantly.
“You okay?”
I jolt back from the wall, my eyes landing on Matteo. He looks rough, drained even. Tonight really took it out of us all, and it’s starting to show. I sense it has been a while since any major shootout has happened because I don’t miss the way Matteo twitches at the slightest sound, his hand ready at his gun.
“Weird night, huh?”
I pocket my phone. I’m not sure how much he heard, or if he heard anything at all.
“Sera’s getting seen now. You should probably get that checked, too.”
I frown, reaching a hand up to where he’s pointing. The sharp sting snaps me into focus as I realize I’m sporting a pretty deep cut. Matteo is right, I should get it closed up. I’m sure Bianchi doesn’t want me dripping blood all over her carpets.
“Hey.” Matteo grabs my shoulder. It’s not forceful or dominating. It’s just a friendly reminder that he’s here. “You gonna be okay? It was a nasty crash.”
I nod in reply. My own health is the least of my worries right now. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to be Donna Bianchi’s bodyguard. I knew what was being asked of me, what I needed to do. Protecting her at all costs has been my mission from day one. I came here with a purpose, I was hired for a reason. Remaining silent and stoic is all I am. I’m the guy who lingers in the background, barely conspicuous. I get shit done because I’m the best. They’re the rules I abide by, boundaries I set for myself because without them, things can quickly get out of hand.
The problem is, the more time I spend around Sera the more I ignore what my job is. What I wasn’t expecting was for Serafina Bianchi to steal my breath, my attention, my focus. I’m constantly drawn to her, watching her so intensely that I’m losing myself bit by bit.
I survey each and every interaction, sometimes wishing it was with me. The way she melts into Levi’s comfort, relishing in the undying support he gives her. They’re easy together. But then I’ve observed how she is with Luca; the fire that smolders between them. At any given moment those embers are going to spark into something more fierce, and it’s all fueled by this insane mutual act of revenge .
In turn, I’ve seen the way Fontana and Marchese both look at Sera. Fontana has a bitterness about him, something he seems to struggle to fight. Tonight was proof of that. From the dance floor to the crash, his true feelings for her are starting to show. He’s no longer the hard-ass vengeful son, who only agreed to help Sera for his own personal vendetta. His thoughts don’t seem to be fuelled by that anymore, but a need to protect our leader.
As for Levi, from day one I saw the way he looked at her. There’s definitely a deep seated level of adoration he holds for Bianchi; only now he’s acting upon those feelings. It stands to reason that whatever they have planned to avenge their family’s loss, it’s going to come with some heavy revelations.
Once Matteo continues his patrol, I join Sera in the living room where she’s getting stitched up by Mancini’s doctor. Levi and Luca are out back talking with Rafael, probably trying to figure out what the fuck happened tonight.
“Ouch!” Sera winces as I enter.
The doctor flinches beside her, clearly expecting more than a yelp from his leader. “Apologies, Donna Bianchi.”
“It’s fine,” she smiles back sweetly. Once again, I’m in continual awe over this woman. She might look innocent and fragile on the outside, but there’s a fighter inside of her. She’s stubborn and impatient, but those two characteristics complement the fire burning inside of her, the need to lead, the urge to avenge her best friend. She never uses it unless necessary, though. She doesn’t exert her power or authority on anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Unlike the men I’ve guarded before, Serafina is a gentle leader.
“I know that look,” Sera comments from across the room. She’s resting her arm on the couch, looking more relaxed than any of us right now as the doctor bandages her up. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
I don’t need to ask her what she means. Somehow, we’re one and the same. She knows what it’s like to harbor guilt, take the blame because it’s easier than the unknown, but right now, I can only blame myself .
I catch her gaze, her expression forgiving, like she doesn’t blame me for what happened.
I do, though.
I should have been able to handle that collision better. I’ve handled worse shoot outs, more chaotic brawls. Tonight should have been a walk in the park.
“We didn’t know this would happen, Gio.”
But I did. I sensed the Verdis were going to be on a warpath and I should have been able to prevent it. Instead of looking out for my mark, I was observing her. Absorbing her interaction with Luca like it didn’t bother me in the first place.
“She’s right.” Levi enters through the sliding doors that lead out to the backyard. “We didn’t know this was going to happen.” He takes a seat beside Serafina, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in comfort.
“But we should have,” Luca grumbles, standing in the center of the room. He folds his arms, watching Sera carefully—we all are. “Last night went far too smoothly, I should have seen this coming.”
I get the feeling he feels just as responsible for what went down tonight. After all, he’s started to take on the enforcer role, which means he should have been scouting for trouble.
We all should have.
“Raf is going to run some intel,” Luca continues. “See if he can find out who these men were, and more importantly, who hired them.”
Rafael has always been an enigma to me. I’d never seen him until now, but rumors of what happened to his family have circulated enough to get a good enough idea of who the man is. He’s pretty much removed himself from the gun game, focusing more on financial corruption and hacking. He seems trustworthy enough for Luca, and Sera in turn, even if that was uncertain when he first rocked up tonight.
We were hit by four gunmen tonight. Five, if you count the guy Sera put a bullet through at the last second. My eyes automatically travel to the bandage on her arm, and my leg starts bouncing nervously .
“I have men guarding the area, just in case the cops turn up.” Raf appears beside Luca, looking just as exhausted as we do.
“Guarding with what?” Sera jibes, tilting her head like she’s goading him for a reaction.
Raf huffs, glancing at Luca before returning his attention to Sera. “Just because I don’t have anything to do with the weapons trade, doesn’t mean we don’t carry.”
“Sure,” she smirks back.
Raf pockets his hands, looking a little more sheepish now. He looks like he has years on everyone in this room, maybe even the same age as me but I don’t know that much about him.
“I’ll lift some prints and see if I can get a match on any of them.”
“Thank you,” Levi murmurs, though I can hear the reluctance in his voice.
“Sure,” he replies nonchalantly. “We’ll find out who ordered this hit.”
“I think we already know the answer to that,” Sera retorts, standing up stiffly. Her sparkly dress still clings to her slender body, though it no longer holds the elegance it did before. There’s a tear along the bottom, uneven and mismatched from where Luca used it to form a makeshift tourniquet. Rips form in various places, on the dress, and as my gaze tours her lithe frame, I notice the crimson cuts decorating her pretty little feet. Aside from the bandages on her head and arm, she’s in one piece. While it eases some of my guilt, it doesn’t completely diminish because we should not have survived that collision.
Raf doesn’t respond to Sera. I don’t think there is anything he can say to her that will ease the tension suffocating the room. I can practically taste the bitterness tainting it.
“I’ll see you out,” Luca says as he leads Raf away with his doctor in tow. A tense silence falls over the rest of us. The Ferrante brothers are still rounding up security by the looks of things, setting up new plans and perimeter checks, so that leaves just me, Sera and Levi.
“Are you okay?” he asks Sera.
“It’s nothing painkillers can’t fix,” she huffs, drawing her eyes to me. “What about you?” She steps towards me cautiously, her brows furrowed in what I can only describe as worry. She reaches up slowly, her hand cupping my cheek and turning my head to the side.
A zap of frenetic energy pings straight to my chest. I nod, even though I don’t deserve her help right now. It’ll only make it harder for me to push away the guilt festering inside of me. The look in her dark eyes is soft, and that makes this situation even worse. I can’t do this. I can’t be here. I can’t stand in front of Bianchi, accepting her kindness and support when I let her down.
“Call the doctor back, Levi,” she orders over her shoulder.
Levi goes to move but stops when he notices me pulling her hand away. I step back, shaking my head.
“Gio,” she frowns, tilting her head at me.
I can’t give her the explanation she craves because I don’t have one. I know it’s hurting her, even though we’ve only known each other a short amount of time. I can’t do this. I’m already conjuring up a storm of anger, there’s no way I want to be around anyone for that.
I take another step away.
“Gio—“
“Let him go, beautiful.” Levi joins her, planting a kiss on her temple. I’ve noticed him doing that a lot recently, and let’s not forget the moment they had in the dressing room last week. I pretty much heard everything, and while that shouldn’t bother me, I do feel envious. I just don’t want to admit it.
I offer Levi an appreciative look and he reciprocates with a smile. He’s always fucking smiling.
I wish I could smile.
I wish I had something to be happy about like he does.
Instead, I’m surrounded by my own desolation. I’m drowning in guilt and resentment, lost in my helplessness.
I leave before any more questions are asked; before Luca returns, or the Ferrante brothers. I leave before anyone has a chance to dig deep and place the blame on me.
Stepping outside, I’m finally able to take a deep breath. It does nothing to cool the sweat rolling down my temple, or calm the anxiety inside, but it does help me focus.
Only for a little while.