The Silent Appeal #11
We’re doing The Hollow and lack a Gerda. Female, playing age thirties. If you have any stray actors please send them our way.
1:40 p.m. Jock, Fowey Light Op Soc wrote:
Sorry. Doing HMS Pinafore. Maxed out on cast and struggling for a Dick Deadeye as is.
1:59 p.m. Fraser, Stage on the Bois wrote:
Midsummer Night’s Dream and emailing past members to find willing fairies.
2:19 p.m. Mandy, Young Theatre Academy wrote:
Cold Comfort Farm. Say no more.
2:33 p.m. Bernice, Mendham Players wrote:
The Count of Monte Cristo has used up our whole group. Had to advertise on Facebook for new ones.
2:34 p.m. Kevin, The Fairway Players wrote:
Thanks, guys. If you hear of a F, 30s, send her our way.
2:38 p.m. Bernice, Mendham Players wrote:
Btw Kev, thanks for the F, 60s (your mother-in-law I understand) and M, 50s. Two excellent actors. The production is shaping up already and with the NADAs looming, we can finally hope for some silverware.
2:39 p.m. Kevin, The Fairway Players wrote:
Good for you.
To: [Special group]
From: Kevin MacDonald
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Gerda Cristow
Dear all,
Greetings from the director’s chair and happy new year, if I can still say that on January 29th.
You are either a current “resting” member of the Fairway Players or you’ve been in our orbit over the last few years. Either way, I hope this email finds you well.
We are almost a month into rehearsals for our next play: The Hollow, a fiendish murder mystery by the deadly dame herself, Agatha Christie.
The world has turned and it emerges that the juicy character part of Gerda Cristow is now available. If you are in receipt of this email, you may be right for the part and I will happily hold a mini-audition for all those interested. Best wishes, Kevin
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Carol Dearing
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
This email finds me happily cast in another play.
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Joyce Walford
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
I’m thirty years too old, although that didn’t stop me playing Gary Lineker. I said I’d do any part, but I’ve been watching rehearsals and Gerda isn’t one I fancy. Anyway, there’s no one I trust with the teas and cakes at the moment. Joyce
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Myra Briggs
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
pregantn sick as dog lol
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Jackie Marsh
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
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To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Carly Dexter
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
Hi Kevin,
Would love to be involved in a play at some point, but we’re so busy with our import-export company there’s no way either of us can commit. Keep us on the list though, because we’re really, really keen to be involved. Best, Carly
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Magda Kuchar
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
Your email finds me back in Poland.
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Stella Cornwall
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Gerda Cristow
You hired my string quartet in 2018. I’ve never been a member of this group. Kindly remove me from your mailing list.
To: Kevin MacDonald
From: Isabel Beck
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: [Automatic Reply] Re: Gerda Cristow
Hiya! Thanks for sending me an email! Unfortunately, this isn’t my email address anymore because what with one thing and another—boo, boo, triple boo—I had to get a new one. Love Issy xxx
Message exchange between Sarah-Jane and Kevin MacDonald on January 29, 2025:
4:17 p.m. Kevin wrote:
The moment it pinged into my inbox and I saw the name, I had a eureka moment.
4:18 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Please tell me you didn’t act on it.
4:18 p.m. Kevin wrote:
I don’t have her current email address.
4:18 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Thank God.
4:19 p.m. Kevin wrote:
But I know someone who does.
4:19 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Do NOT ask them.
4:20 p.m. Kevin wrote:
Never was a Fairway Player more suited to a role than Issy Beck to Gerda Cristow.
4:21 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
We cannot invite that mousy nightmare into our midst again.
4:22 p.m. Kevin wrote:
Nonsense! It was years ago. Anyway, it’s entirely for the good of the play.
4:24 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Never has a Fairway Player created more angst and disruption. The group has literally not been the same since.
4:28 p.m. Kevin wrote:
People change. I remember she was super-keen and threw herself into the couple of plays she did, more so than many current members do now.
4:30 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Who in the world do WE know who would have her new email address?
4:31 p.m. Kevin wrote:
She contacted you a couple of years ago when we were in the newspaper. YOU hold the key to the play’s success.
4:37 p.m. Kevin wrote:
She’ll probably say no. She might have moved too far away.
Why would she even want to come back here?
But in the interests of the play, and so I know I turned over every stone in the pursuit of a new Gerda, please forward that email address and let me ask Isabel Beck if she’d like to play the role. Please.
4:38 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
For the good of the play.
To: Isabel Beck
From: Kevin MacDonald
Cc: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Blast from the past
Dear Issy,
As the subject line of this email suggests, I’m leaping into your inbox from the dim and distant past, but far from empty-handed: I have a proposition.
We’re staging The Hollow, a thrilling whodunit by Agatha Christie, play week June 1–8. Rehearsals at the same place, 7:30 for 8 p.m. on Monday nights and some Wednesdays. I’m directing and Sarah-Jane is producing.
It’s been in rehearsal for a month, but there’s a part I just can’t seem to fill.
A new girl took it on but lost confidence.
Then I asked around the whole group, with no luck.
Even our most dependable understudies don’t want to take it on, heaven only knows why.
Other local groups all seem to have picked large-cast plays that require all their actors.
Finally, I dredged up an ancient mailing list and took a punt.
Your automatic reply pinged back, Sarah-Jane mentioned your recent email, and bingo!
Things may have ended trickily the last time you were here, but if you still have your passion and enthusiasm for the stage, I’m very happy to offer you the part.
The group has changed since the old days. We’re a democracy now. Sarah-Jane and I are elected cochairs and there’s a written constitution that determines how the group is run. Everyone is friendly and we get along like the proverbial burning house.
If you’re within realistic traveling distance, are available over the next few months, and would like to be in the play, please let me know. We are practically at the point of despair.
Kevin MacDonald, Committee cochair and director
Message exchange between Sarah-Jane and Kevin MacDonald on January 29, 2025:
4:59 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
Could you sound any more desperate?
5:00 p.m. Kevin wrote:
I AM desperate. There’s no one left to ask and if she doesn’t jump aboard we’re looking at another month closer to play week without a Gerda and less time for a new one to bed in.
5:00 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
I have misgivings.
5:00 p.m. Kevin wrote:
Make them your friends.
5:01 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
What?
5:02 p.m. Kevin wrote:
Title of your latest Excel file: “Make IBS Your Friend.” If irritable bowel syndrome can be a mate, so can misgivings.
5:03 p.m. Sarah-Jane wrote:
That’s an NHS campaign I wrote copy for! The email is sent now and we’re in the lap of the gods. She probably won’t even reply.
To: Kevin MacDonald
Cc: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
From: Isabel Beck
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Blast from the past
OMG Hiya Kevin!
I couldn’t believe it when I saw your name pop up in my inbox, and couldn’t believe it (only more so) when it was for a part in a play!
YES PLEASE! Can you tell I’m doing a happy dance around my ophthalmoscope?
I’ll be there Monday and will learn my lines straight away. How lovely of SJ to think of me!
It’s weird because I was only just sitting here between patients, thinking how I didn’t have a proper hobby these days as everything I start seems to fizzle out sooner or later. And there you were, offering me a chance to join Fairways again. It was meant to be!
To cut a long story short, I left nursing and now work at Specsavers just outside Fowey.
That means I can catch the same bus I used to get, which is handy because I can hop on the 10:44 after rehearsals.
Is everyone I remember still involved? Joyce, Denise, John, Marianne?
I believe a friend of mine, Fran Elroy-Jones, joined a few years ago.
Is she still there? I knew her vaguely from a charity she and I were both involved with. It will be lovely to see her again!
Don’t worry about spending group funds on a script for me, I’ve ordered a copy online already so I can start learning the part as soon as it arrives!
They say the past is “water under the bridge,” and that’s supposed to mean that time is always marching on and nothing stays the same. But the bridge stays the same, doesn’t it? I suppose the important thing is to know what is the water and what is the bridge.
See you Monday! Love Issy xxx
To: Isabel Beck
From: Kevin MacDonald
Cc: Sarah-Jane MacDonald
Date: January 29, 2025
Subject: Re: Blast from the past
Splendid news! Happy dancing all round.
Thank you for buying your own script, although to learn your lines you’ll need to know which part I’m talking about: Gerda Cristow. She’s a doctor’s wife.
We’ve got several new members in this play and yes, Fran is still here. She’s playing Lady Angkatell and is already knocking us dead with her characterization. She and Gerda share several scenes, so it’ll be a good idea to learn lines together if that’s doable.
Looking forward to working with you again, and see you Monday! Cheers, Kevin