Chapter Sixty-Eight
Daniel
One day I finally check our joint bank account, and my stomach sinks.
I was sure we had more than this. The new house is bleeding us dry, we’re way over our budget, and I still owe Neville Logan the final balance.
Meanwhile, Jo’s picking out designer furniture and accessories because I told her money wasn’t a problem.
Luckily, it’s a joint account and she’s always left the finances to me.
But how the hell do I explain that I’ve been cooking the books at work and gambling with my career and our future?
I scroll through the statement again and feel nauseous.
In one month alone, I blew more than two hundred grand on coke and roulette.
I can’t even remember when it all started to go wrong. One minute, all this money was coming in, and the next, it had gone. I could lose hundreds, even thousands, in a single night.
I bite my nail until the skin around it begins to bleed. I need coke badly, but Rupert has told his boys to stop selling it to me.
‘It’s messing with your head. I don’t want you to make mistakes. I don’t need a cokehead handling my money.’
I should have told Rupert I couldn’t do his dirty work anymore. I should have told him long before now. It’s getting too risky. But I need ten thousand to get me out of a mess, and at least I’ll be getting that today.
The lack of coke means I’ve started getting withdrawal symptoms. At one stage I could barely use the keyboard, my hands were shaking so much.
So I took myself to Cowley: I’d overheard someone at the casino say that someone there, someone named Raven, had better coke than Rupert’s lot.
I had to visit a dingy bar in a side alley to find him.
There was a musclebound man – a bouncer or a bodyguard or something like that – on the door. He searched me. ‘You can go in.’
‘I’m here to see Raven,’ I said.
He’d grinned at me.
‘Hope you’ve got the dosh, man.’
I nodded. ‘I have.’
He spoke into his walkie-talkie, then, after a short conversation: ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘This way.’
I was led down a dark corridor, and fear gnawed at my stomach. Before I could turn back, the bouncer opened a door. Cigarette smoke drifted out from the room, and through the blue haze I saw a man sitting behind a large desk, his feet propped up on it.
The man stared at me for what felt like a long time. His dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and a solitary skull-shaped earring hung from one of his earlobes. The room was dimly lit, but I sensed other people there.
‘You're new to us, dude. How do you know about us?’ he asked. He had a slight accent that I couldn’t place. I explained about the casino.
‘Why don’t you get it from them?’ he asked suspiciously.
My throat was so dry that my voice was hoarse. ‘Someone said yours is top notch.’
‘Top notch,’ he said, and laughed. The others in the room laughed with him. ‘We can give you some top-notch stuff,’ he continued. ‘But it won’t be cheap.’
***
When I finally left, I was covered in sweat and a thousand pounds lighter, but I had my fix. I could work.
In the weeks between then and now, I’ve been to Cowley several times. I’ve become such a good customer that Raven lets me have my stash without paying immediately.
‘A loan,’ he says with a shrug.
But now I have barely anything in the bank, and I owe Raven a small fortune.
I have tried to win money on the roulette table, but I’ve lost more than I’ve won.
So now I have to tell him I don’t have the money.
My heart is beating so fast I'm sure I will have a heart attack before I make it to Raven’s.
The bar is quiet and the temptation to drink is overwhelming, but I resist it and let the bodyguard take me through to Raven’s office.
‘Well, look who’s here,’ Raven says, and smiles. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
‘It’s about what I owe…’ I begin.
Raven stands up. He’s taller than I realised and towers over me.
His breath stinks of stale tobacco. ‘We’ve been good to you,’ he says, ‘But you owe us. We’ve given you time to get the money together.
I hate to see a grown man shaking, so we gave you a little gift last time.
But you still owe us half from the time before. ’
‘I’m getting it. I’ll have ten thousand tonight. A contractor owes me.’
Raven leans close to me.
‘I don’t like threatening people, Danny, but it would be a huge shame to break up that lovely little family of yours.
And trust me, it won’t be your legs we’ll break.
I’m not stupid enough to damage the person who owes me – I don’t want to make it harder for you to get me my money but sometimes a little incentive helps. You get my drift?’
At that, my legs almost give way. I can’t let anything happen to Jo or my son. Raven hasn’t finished, though.
‘Now, you meet me here tomorrow at seven, and you make sure you have the money. Got it?’
I nod.
***
It’s Jo’s day off. I call to say I’m running late and hear her sigh with frustration.
‘I’ve got a meeting after work. I won’t be too late,’ I say, trying to appease her.
I’m supposed to pay Raven today, but for some reason, Rupert hasn’t transferred the ten thousand he owes me.
I’m feeling panicky, and lack of coke isn’t helping.
I’m finding it hard to think straight. I need to chill out.
I’m too on edge. Think clearly. I know that I need to stop knocking back the white snow.
It’s affecting my judgement. I’m sleeping poorly, and soon Jo is bound to notice.
But I just can’t seem to cope without it now.
I rub my sore eyes and see that my hands are shaking. Nic thinks everything is going great. I’ve given him the impression I’ve been winning at the roulette table, but I haven’t. I still owe Rupert’s guys three thousand.
‘You’re living the charmed life, mate,’ Nic said.
I laughed: it had sounded slightly hysterical. If this is a fucking charmed life, then you can stick it.
The new house is costing a fortune. The mortgage is killing me, and that’s not taking into account the mortgage on the flat.
Jo’s using the credit card all the time, ordering stuff for the house.
All fucking designer because that’s what Alice advises her to get, and, of course, there’s Alice’s bloody fee, which is going to be sky high.
There’s the fucking gym membership and the repayments on our cars.
The preschool fees and Nicola’s salary. All that, and I’ve been losing more than I’ve been winning.
So, I’ve borrowed money from a loan shark to keep my head above water. I knew that, with two mortgages hanging around my neck, I’d never get a loan from the bank. But the interest on the loan increases daily. I can’t keep up.
There’s a knock at the door and I jump. Before I can say come in, the door opens, and Rupert strolls into my office.
‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ he asks.
His voice is soft and reasonable, but I detect a level of anger beneath it.
‘No, not at all,’ I say breathlessly. He sits down without asking permission.
‘I hope you don’t bear a grudge, Daniel. Only the cocaine was affecting you. I hear you still owe the boys three thousand.’
‘I’m going to pay it tonight,’ I lie.
He smiles.
‘Well, that’s good to hear.’
I hide my hands beneath the desk so he can’t see them shaking. ‘I, erm, didn’t get my payment for the last transaction,’ I say nervously. I’m starting to feel sick.
That’s when everything changes. Rupert jumps up suddenly and is around the table before I even have time to stand up. He grabs me by the lapels of my jacket.
‘I came here to tell you that you’re out, Daniel.
You fucked up the last deal. It went to the wrong account.
Why should I fucking pay you for losing me money?
I want that money back, Daniel. So there’ll be no more monthly payments in the future.
I’m not paying you anything until I get that money back. ’
He releases me with a jerk, and I fall backwards. ‘I didn’t fuck up,’ I stutter, wobbling back to my chair. And honestly, I feel sure I didn’t.
‘It seems that you did. I’ll be nice to you, Daniel. I’ll pay the boys your drug debt. However, you’ll need to correct the books. You owe me, and I want that money back. Don’t even think of crossing me.’
I exhale heavily. How the fuck did I make a mistake? I’m always so careful.
‘But that was two hundred thousand,’ I say, and groan. ‘I can’t put that through the books so soon after the last payment.’
Rupert looks out of the window.
‘Nice view, this. I hear you’ve renovated a beautiful house in the Cotswolds. Maybe you could remortgage your nice apartment.’
Fuck, he knows where I live. I’ll kill Nic.
‘The thing is, Danny boy, I’ve now got people coming after me. Now, these aren’t nice people, and I don’t want trouble, and neither do you, so why don’t you fiddle around with those books of yours and get my money sent to the right account?’
I feel sure my heart won’t keep up with this racing. I’m going to have a stroke. ‘I’ll need some time. I’ll have to juggle things so no one notices. I can’t do two transactions that close together. You have to let me have that.’
He stares long and hard at me. ‘I have to?’ he asks finally.
‘No, I didn’t mean—’
He slams his hand on the desk, just as there is a knock on the door. I breathe a sigh of relief. ‘Come in.’
My secretary, Sheila, strolls in with some folders. ‘The files you wanted, Mr Neal.’
Rupert smiles warmly at her, and we wait until she’s gone.
‘No one dictates to me,’ he says quietly.
‘But you’ve done some good work for me. So, I’ll give you until the end of the month.
Why don’t you come to the casino later? It will be nice if you pay off the boys in person, don’t you think?
’ He pulls out a wad of notes from his pocket.
‘Don’t be a fool, take it. There’s three grand there. No strings attached.’
I take the money and I can see he’s waiting for a thank you. Jesus, he wants to humiliate me.
‘Thanks, Rupert. I appreciate your patience and generosity.’
‘Great. I look forward to getting my money back by the end of the month.’
As soon as the door has closed, I drop my head into my hands. How could I have allowed myself to get in such a mess? All to fucking impress Donald. The night I walked into that casino, I was uncertain. If only I’d trusted my instincts.