Chapter 4
Chapter Four
Alderian sat down slowly by her side, completely stunned. He opened his mouth a couple of times as if he were going to say something, but he didn’t seem to know what to say.
“What is happening?” Augustine asked finally. Although she tried to maintain her composure, her voice trembled slightly.
“That’s exactly what I would like to know,” replied Alderian, who still couldn’t seem to get over the impact.
“Am I dreaming? Is it one of the lucid dreams you’ve shown me before?”
He appeared even more surprised. “Do you remember that too?” He paused, his expression shifting to one of sudden gravity.
“We have to talk right now, but we can’t do it here.
Listen to me carefully, Augustine: no one can know you see me or hear me.
Let’s go to your parents’ house, since it’s the closest and safest place around.
Be careful when you arrive, though, and remember that although your brothers aren’t there, your parents are surely still home. ”
“You’re so well-informed about everything,” she murmured, surprised.
Alderian gestured for her to keep quiet, adding, “Until we are completely alone, act as if I’m not here.”
And so they started walking back in silence. Alderian strolled by her side, and she couldn’t help but look at him every now and then out of the corner of her eye, noting that he looked very real, as did the Silver Thread that connected them. What would that even mean?
When they finally arrived, Augustine noticed her father’s car was no longer in the parking spot, leading her to assume he wasn’t home. Her mother, however, was still locked in her office, her voice audible from an ongoing meeting.
Seeking privacy, they moved into the kitchen.
Once she was entirely certain they were alone, Augustine finally looked at him head-on.
She had a thousand questions to ask, yet her throat suddenly went dry from anxiety, leaving her unable to utter a single word.
Alderian remained silent as well, merely scratching the back of his neck with one hand.
For a moment, Augustine sensed that he was just as filled with questions as she was.
“This... this shouldn't be possible,” he muttered, breaking the silence.“Who are you?” Augustine asked in a soft whisper, a single question holding the weight of most of her doubts.
He didn’t answer immediately, perhaps debating how to approach the explanation.
“My name is Alderian, and I am your A’aruin,” he said finally.
“That means my duty is to protect you while you live as a human. In some cultures they call us guardian angels, but it would be more accurate to say that I am the soul most akin to yours in this vast universe.”
Having grown up without religious references, Augustine had little context beyond a childhood song that mentioned them.
She approached him cautiously, studying his features.
With his messy white hair falling over his forehead, his delicate features, and his beautiful gray eyes, he looked like a creature from another world.
His outfit was elegant, yet entirely different from what she would have envisioned for an angel; he wore a fitted shirt under a tight, velvety dark gray dress vest that gave him a sophisticated edge, alongside several thick rings on his fingers and a pair of aged leather boots.
“Honestly, you don’t look like an angel,” she noted. “And I don’t see any wings.”
“I can project wings if I wanted to,” Alderian countered, “but it’s a purely aesthetic choice.”
To her utter amazement, a pair of magnificent black wings sprouted from his back and spread wide behind him. Fascinated, Augustine stepped even closer. Although Alderian seemed a bit uncomfortable having her at such close proximity, he didn’t pull back.
“I thought angels’ wings were white,” she commented, walking a slow circle around him. As she did, she noticed that some of his feathers looked damaged, appearing as if they had been burned.
“They usually are,” Alderian responded dryly, snapping them shut immediately until they vanished. Augustine tilted her head slightly.
“So you remember we saw each other in your dreams, but you remember nothing else, right?” Alderian asked.
Augustine nodded in silence. “Should I remember anything else?”
“No, you shouldn’t remember anything, much less be able to see me. But if you only remember having seen me in your dreams, maybe it’s not that bad...” Even though he said that, he looked worried, staying still for a while and looking at her discreetly as if he needed to confirm she was still there.
Augustine had a thousand questions, since despite her scientific mindset, she had always been drawn to the paranormal. After the first moment of fear, she now felt a growing curiosity. “Have you always been with me? Like since I was born?” she asked, pulling Alderian out of his own reflection.
“We have been together for hundreds of years, but not like you imagine. We are A’aruin and human, and that is all the relationship we can have.
When I incarnate as a human, you are my A’aruin, and when you are born as a human, the roles are reversed in a continuous, eternal cycle in which we never meet. ”
“So I am an A’aruin too?”
“All humans are.”
Life after death. Augustine had grown up with the conviction that death was the end of everything and that nothing transcended into nothingness, but there, in her parents’ kitchen on a random day, an angel had appeared to reveal to her the mysteries of human existence. Then she had a curious idea.
“My grandmother died a few years ago. I was very close to her, and there isn’t a day that I don't miss her,” she said softly.
“I know. You’re talking about Meme.”
Augustine smiled at him sweetly and nodded. “Have you seen her? Has she ever come to see me?”
Alderian looked away first, and when he met Augustine’s gaze again, his eyes revealed a blend of compassion and sadness.
“She doesn’t remember you anymore,” he whispered.
“When you recover your A’aruin form, nothing remains of your memories as a human because it’s the oldest and most implacable law: the Law of Oblivion. ”
She expected little, so she wasn’t too disappointed, and knowing her grandmother still existed was comforting enough.
She looked at him, smiling. He extended his hand toward Augustine’s face, and she stayed completely still; he didn’t actually touch her, since Alderian didn’t seem to have a physical body, but they looked at each other in silence for a few seconds before he pulled away.
“In all the lives we’ve had, nothing like this has ever happened,” he said in a husky voice.
They looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. Words were unnecessary.