Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
AAugustine accompanied Ana home and spent the night there.
She lived alone with her older sister, who had assumed the role of the mother they both lost since their parents died while they were still in school.
Indeed, life had not been easy for them since then, and Ana definitely carried too much weight on her shoulders, but Augustine had always seen her as a well-adjusted and optimistic person.
She never imagined her friend was plunged into such deep shadows.
For the first time, she was glad she could see the Silver Threads; otherwise, she didn’t even want to imagine what might have happened.
“Ana, have you talked to Mimí about how you feel?” Augustine asked while preparing some tea, as Ana shook her head with her eyes still red. “Let’s talk to her, okay? I’m sure she’ll do everything she can to understand and help.”
After half an hour, the jingle of keys at the entrance announced Ana’s sister—a woman weathered by life, yet still youthful in appearance, looking like a firm pillar holding up the entire world.
Following close behind was her A’aruin, a mature, androgynous entity who noticed the girl’s red Thread the moment they crossed the threshold.
The A’aruin didn’t seem surprised, as it surely wasn’t the first time they had seen it that way.
“Augustine! What a surprise; it’s been a long time since your last visit,” Mimí greeted affectionately.
“Good evening, Mimí,” she responded. “You’re right, it’s been way too long. I’ll make sure to come by and see you more often from now on.”
Augustine smiled broadly, but as Mimí took off her coat and put away the groceries, she looked at Ana insistently. Her friend caught the message, took a deep breath, and with a burst of courage, hugged her sister from behind.
“Mimí, can we talk for a moment? Just us?” Ana asked.
Augustine discreetly retreated to Ana’s bedroom, giving them space to talk.
She had been forcing a smile and acting strong for so long that her facial muscles felt numb.
As she entered the room, the silence hit her hard, and she collapsed onto the bed, covering her face with both hands while holding back the tears and the anguish tightening her chest. Everything felt like an unthinkable nightmare.
“Are you okay?” Alderian asked by her side.
“I don’t think so. I’m not okay.”
“You did something extraordinary today,” Alderian noted. “You protected Ana when her A’aruin could do nothing else.”
Augustine pulled her hands away from her face and looked at him. “Have you ever felt like that? Helpless because of what you couldn’t do for me?”
Alderian smiled sadly. “More times than I want to remember.”
“Elarión was suffering so much… and Ana isn’t even aware of him,” Augustine pointed out. “If she had known, if she’d had his company throughout her life, could things have been different?”
“We’ll never know, though I suspect so,” Alderian answered.
“This is a shitty system, Alderian. I mean it,” she continued. “What’s the point of having two spirits bound if they can never speak to each other or recognize one another? I don’t get it.”
Alderian looked at the floor, perhaps because he didn’t understand it either. “But right now, we are very lucky,” he said. “My voice reaches you… your eyes can see me… you can even pull on me as if I were your puppet.”
He smiled, tugging the Silver Thread as a reminder of her little jealous scene from earlier.
“I just gave you a small reminder,” she said, pulling the delicate string softly.
Alderian bit his lower lip, attempting to hide a smile.
“Hold me,” Augustine pleaded, desolate.
Alderian didn’t respond immediately. “You know I can’t,” he said, his eyes full of yearning.
“I’m sad, and I’m on edge… can’t you comfort me?”
Alderian sighed and placed his hand on her forehead. Augustine felt a slight sensation of vertigo and sat up in bed, realizing something felt different.
“What did you do?” she asked, looking around as if the answer were right there.
“I’m comforting you,” he said, hugging her tightly.
Augustine lost her breath as she felt his warm contact against her body, wondering how that was even possible.
“You are sleeping, my Augustine. Or rather, I put you to sleep. We are in your dreams,” he explained.
“It feels so real,” she whispered, clinging to the embrace.
They said nothing for several minutes, simply remaining like that.
Alderian stroked her hair and rubbed gentle circles on her back, while Augustine wrapped her hands around his waist, feeling his firm body beneath his clothes.
Although she was tempted to caress and trace his broad back, she held back.
Alderian pulled away slightly and rested his forehead against hers. “Do you feel a little better?”
Slowly, she brought one of her hands to Alderian’s cheek and brushed his soft skin, causing him to pull back an inch.
“Can’t I touch you?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“It’s not that… I’m just not used to it,” Alderian admitted. He moved his face toward Augustine’s outstretched hand and leaned into it, closing his eyes.
Augustine held him and caressed him gently with her other hand, tracing his features with her fingertips. “You say I’ve also been your A’aruin in the past, and you my human, right?” she asked.
“That’s right. Once you die, you will return to A’aru, and I will incarnate as a human simultaneously,” he answered.
“I’ll miss you. I don’t like that things are this way.”
“If it’s any consolation… you won’t remember me,” Alderian murmured. “When you recover your A’aruin form, you will lose all memory of having been Augustine. These moments will only be kept in my heart.”
“How could that be a consolation? That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Alderian hugged her deeply. “Don’t think about that now,” he whispered. “I’ll let you sleep. You’re exhausted, and it’s not good for me to stay here too long.”
Alderian caressed her face one last time and kissed her forehead, and after that, she knew nothing more.