13. Casey
13
CASEY
It’s your standard night at Maggie’s bar. The regulars are all here, along with a sprinkling of guys from Big Charlie’s crew and some EMTs and firemen that showed up in matching work T-shirts to try and “rizz up some chicks.”
Charlie said he didn’t have any room for me on his landscaping crew, but he’d let me know when he did. So for now, it looks like I’m shit out of luck as far as work goes.
“Maybe you can start mowing lawns,” Chris suggests, tipping his beer. “Shirt off, chest oiled. I bet plenty of suburban ladies I know would hire you.”
“Ooh, and he could advertise with photos on Instagram,” Rodney laughs. “Call it Casey’s Big Cut Muscles Lawn Care.”
The guys all laugh. Everyone except Dave, who’s looking at me the way an older brother looks at you when he wants to say he told you so.
I thought going out tonight would maybe distract me from the fact that my entire life is collapsing down around me, but the way he’s glaring at me now is just pissing me off.
“What?” I finally ask him. “You got something to say?”
“Me? Nah, why? You got something to admit?”
He either wants me to say he was right, or he wants me to cop to leaking the story about Reverend Tuttle. Neither of which I’ll be doing.
“Go fuck yourself, Dave.”
“Whoa, take it easy,” Chris says, playing peacekeeper. “We’re supposed to be having a good time tonight. Maybe finding Casey a job?”
“You guys finish up without me,” I say, tossing a five on the table. “I’m out.”
This time Dave doesn’t even try to chase after me. I guess he’s given up. And right now, that’s fine with me. I don’t need him coming with me. Not where I’m going right now.
I climb into the truck and head out. It’s only a twenty-minute drive to The Low Rider where Michelle and I first met. I know it’s a long shot, but after the story leaked, I can only imagine what things are like at home for her. Maybe she’s decided to bail for a few hours and come out with her friends. Like I did.
The sour scent of stale booze hits my nostrils as I step inside. I glance around and don’t see her. I sigh and am just about to turn and leave when I hear a laugh, a laugh I recognize. It belongs to Taylor.
I glance in its direction and realize there’s a door in the back I hadn’t noticed the last time we were here. I thread my way through the tables and into a game room where Michelle and Taylor and a few other girls are throwing darts and attempting to play pool.
Michelle shoots her shot and completely misses a game winner. She groans and looks up from the table, and our eyes meet.
I feel it, and I know she feels it. That magic we both experienced every time we were together.
I can’t stand it. I rush straight over to her but am instantly boxed out by Taylor and two other girls who form a wall of perfume and cheap dresses as they stare me down like I’m the Holebeck serial killer or something.
“Easy there, cowboy,” she says. “This here is a no-asshole zone. So just turn around and walk away.”
“Just let me through, Taylor. I need to speak to Michelle.” I glance over her shoulder and between the girls. Michelle is half-hidden behind a pillar, averting her eyes. “Michelle! Can I talk to you? Look, I’m sorry, okay?”
“What did I say?” Taylor asks, shoving me in the chest. One of the other girls hits me in the shoulder. They obviously know I’m not going to get into it with a woman, so I just let them back me up to the door. “Get lost, dirt bag!”
“Michelle!” I call out again. “Please?”
“You want me to start screaming that you tried to touch me?” Taylor asks. “Because I fucking will!”
Her eyes are filled with fire. She’s clearly a loyal friend and is just looking out for Michelle. I can appreciate that, but at the same time, I’m dying to talk to the girl I’m in love with. I know that if I can just speak to her, I can make things right.
“There’s no need for that,” I reply calmly, stepping back. “I’m leaving.”
Battery acid pumps through my veins as I storm out of the bar and back out to my truck. She’s right there and I can’t even touch her. I can’t even speak to her because of those friends of hers on bodyguard duty.
“Fuck!” I curse, slamming my fist down on the hood of my truck. Pain sparks through my wrist. I relish in it because for a moment, a split second, it takes my mind off how helpless I feel.
I slump forward, sucking air deep into my lungs. I had this all worked out. We had this all worked out, and somehow everything has fallen apart.
How can I fix this if she won’t even speak to me? How will I be able to go on without her?
“Casey?” Michelle’s voice behind me causes me to whirl around.
I see her standing there at the door to the bar, looking at me like a wounded puppy. It takes all my strength not to rush over to her and wrap her in my arms.
“Michelle, baby, I am so sorry ,” I say instantly. I watch her take a deep breath. I don’t know if she’s processing or if she’s preparing herself. Maybe both. “Baby, I should have spoken to you about the story before I took it to the paper.”
She nods. “Yes, Casey, you should have.”
“I never should have said those things I said to you either.”
She looks down and shakes her head. “I said some pretty mean things too.”
I slowly walk toward her. She doesn’t back away. “Well, I think we both got caught up in the moment. Emotions were running hot.”
“You can say that again,” she replies, something close to a smile on her lips.
I’m close enough to her now that I can smell whatever she used for shampoo this morning. Beyond that, I can smell her scent. The scent that reminds me just how madly in love I am with her.
As if I could ever forget.
“If I can even attempt to apologize, Michelle, I guess I thought that you just didn’t want to be the one to expose your father,” I say slowly. “But I thought you understood that what he was doing would get out there one way or another.”
Michelle slowly nods. “I think I did understand that, Casey. But when you didn’t tell me what you were doing, it just felt like you were another man in my life making choices for me without telling me first. You know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, feeling ashamed than I’ve ever felt before. “I’m sorry, baby. I love you so much, and I would never want to hurt you.”
I reach out and take her hand. She doesn’t pull away.
This has been one hell of a journey. In the blink of an eye, I fell for this girl and put my entire life as I know it on the line for her. All I want is to be with her. But because of who her father is, because of where she comes from, things could never be that easy.
Life can feel like a cruel joke sometimes, that’s for sure.
“I know it’s easy to look at me and my wealth and think I’ve had it easy, Casey,” Michelle says softly. “But I’ve always lived under the… rule of my father! Always doing what he wants, what he says. My mom used to be a friend to me, but she died two years ago. Since then it’s been just me. Alone.”
My heart nearly leaps from my chest as I watch Michelle wipe a tear from her eyes.
“Your mom died, Michelle?” She nods, clearly doing her best not to cry. “Well, you know what? We may come from opposite ends of life, but we’ve got more in common than we think.”
“What do you mean?”
It’s been fourteen years since my dad’s death. And I thought I had pretty much come to terms with it. But for some reason, standing here now with Michelle, I feel a surge of memories and emotions coming back to me that I haven’t felt since I was just a fifteen-year-old boy.
“I lost my dad too. Heart attack. He was only forty-four.”
Michelle bursts into tears and throws herself into my arms. I grip her tightly and inhale deeply. This moment between us has become so sacred and so special that I feel as though I am holding the very incarnation of my love itself. And at that moment, I realize I am a changed man.
“I’m sorry, Michelle. I never meant to hurt you. I only want you to be free and happy.”
“I know, Casey.” I feel her tears wetting the fabric of my shirt and warming my chest. “I forgive you. And I’m sorry for the things I said too.”
I raise her face to mine and stare down into her beautiful eyes, the little crystal-like amber shards glistening out from her pupil.
“I love you, Michelle.”
She smiles, tears flooding her cheeks. “I love you too, Casey.”
We kiss, and although I know we still have a long road ahead of us, I’m confident we will make it work.
Because with Michelle by my side, I can do anything.
And I will do anything for her.