Chapter 20 Winnie #2
I swear he knocked less than a minute later. I pulled open the door, backed up, and gasped in mock horror. “It’s the ogre next door! What shall I do?”
He slammed the door behind him. “Run.”
Shrieking wildly, I took off for the stairs, where he caught me around the waist, threw me over his shoulder and took the steps up two at a time.
Continuing to howl, I kicked my feet and thumped my hands on his back.
Up in my room, he threw me down on the bed and tore my clothes from my body while I did my pretend best to fight back.
After ditching his jeans and T-shirt, he crawled over me, both our chests heaving.
“Remind me to tell you how to escape a house. You don’t fucking run up the stairs. ”
“Maybe I wanted to get caught.”
He shook his head. “Poor little princess. Do you have any idea how loud I’m going to make you scream?”
“And there’s no one around to hear me in this dark, deserted forest, is there?”
“Nope.” He anchored my arms over my head. “You’re all mine to do with what I please.”
“Is this payback for last night?”
He laughed, low and sinister.
My entire body shivered.
“Did you have a good time at dinner tonight?” Dex’s fingers trailed up and down my back.
“Yes.”
“Where’d you go?”
“Trattoria Lupo. The food was delicious.” Almost as delicious as lying here in his arms. “And we ended up getting the whole meal on the house because Ellie’s family knows the owners.”
“Nice.”
“What did you do for dinner?”
“Blackened some chicken. Not on purpose.”
I laughed. “There was a fiftieth anniversary party at the table next to us.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” I started tracing his collarbone with a fingertip. “That’s a long time, isn’t it?”
“Fuck yeah, it is. I don’t know how anyone does it.”
I bit my lip. “Can I ask what went wrong with you and Naomi?”
He exhaled. “We never should have gotten married in the first place. We did it for the wrong reasons—at least I did.”
“What were your reasons?”
“You’ll think I’m a shitty person if I tell you.”
“No, I won’t.” Picking up my head, I propped it in my hand, my arm over his chest. “Tell me.”
“I cared about Naomi, but we’d been broken up for like six years at that point.
I was home on leave and we ended up messing around—she’d just gotten out of a terrible relationship and I’d just served back-to-back tours, my mom had just gotten her diagnosis .
. . both of us were lonely and looking for escape, and reliving old times seemed like the answer.
It should have ended there, but we got drunk one night and she threw out the idea of getting married.
I thought about it for three seconds and said okay. ”
“That’s what you said? ‘Okay?’”
“Yeah. Because I’d never had any real desire to get married before, but you know what I did have a desire to do?”
“What?”
“Succeed at something where my dad failed. Prove I was a better man.”
I pressed my lips together. “Oh.”
“Told you it was shitty.”
“I think it’s . . . understandable, given your background.”
“Maybe. But it’s not a good reason to get married.”
“No,” I agreed.
“We did it fast, before I shipped out again. And she got pregnant with Hallie right away. But the long separations didn’t do us any favors, and being married to a SEAL is tough.
She hated the absences, the intensity of the job, the questions I couldn’t answer.
She always accused me of being distant, even when I was there. Said I wasn’t a family man.”
“So she asked you to leave?”
“Yeah. I probably would have stayed in it for the kids’ sake—or to prove I wasn’t my dad again—so in a way, it’s good that she ended it. Put us both out of our misery.”
“Yeah.” I put my head down again. “I suppose that took a lot of guts for her to do.”
“And it was all for the best. Now she’s going to marry Bryce, and he has to put up with her nagging. Meanwhile, I get to enjoy my freedom and the occasional romp with the princess next door.” He tugged on my hair. “I was lying there thinking about you when you texted.”
I smiled. “What were you thinking about?”
“That I wished you were home already, so I could come over and ravage you. You’re moving out soon, and what if the next neighbor who moves in isn’t as cute as you? I might not want to get naked with them.”
Giggling, I slapped his chest. “You’re not even going to miss me, are you?”
When I tried to roll away, he caught me from behind and wrapped me up tight in his arms, his erection pushing against my ass. “Ogres don’t miss anybody. That’s the best part of being an ogre.”
“Let me go, I can’t breathe,” I protested, squirming in his embrace. “Go back to your lonely ogre cave.”
“I’m going.” He flipped me onto my back and reached between my legs, where I was still warm and wet. “But not yet.”
Playfully, I fought back, beating my fists against his chest as he moved between my thighs. After sliding inside me, he pinned my hands outside my shoulders.
I grinned up at him, but he wasn’t teasing anymore.
His eyes smoldered in the dark as he moved above me, and my smile faded.
He didn’t kiss me, but his face hovered above mine close enough that I felt his breath on my lips.
I dug my heels into the backs of his muscular legs and wove my fingers into his hair.
For the first time tonight—maybe the first time ever with us—none of this felt like a game.
Not his body buried deep inside mine. Not the fiery heat between us. Not even the words he spoke as he rocked his hips above me.
“I don’t love you.” His voice was low and raw, straining with urgency. “I don’t love you.”
And he crushed his mouth to mine before I could say it back.
Afterward, he rolled out of bed quickly and yanked his jeans on. “I have to work tomorrow, and I pick up the girls on Sunday. Will you be around?”
I tried to keep things light, even though the intensity of our last round had me uneasy. “If you’re lucky. So do I have to walk the ogre out?”
“No. That’s another good thing about ogres.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “We are very self-sufficient. I’ll lock the door. I can’t have anyone else messing with my princess.”
“Thank you.”
He came over and kissed the top of my head. “Night.”
“Night.”
When I heard the door shut downstairs, I flopped onto my back and lay there for a moment starfish-style. My heart continued to pound in a way that scared me, every beat telling me that this was something special, this was something different, this was what love songs were written about.
This was it.
I bolted upright.
“No, it’s not,” I said quickly, scrambling to the edge of my bed and hopping off. “I’m not listening to you, heartbeat. This is not it.”
I hurried into the bathroom and drowned out my heart with running water while I washed my face, then the buzz of my electric toothbrush. Back in my room, I sang “Yankee Doodle” loudly and off-key while I put my pajamas on, because it was the only song I could think of that wasn’t about love.
Then I jumped into bed and buried my head under the pillow.
On my nightstand, my phone vibrated, and I sat up to reach for it. When I saw the text, I started to laugh.
What the hell is going on over there?
That’s my singing voice.
Jesus.
My choir teachers used to ask me to mouth the words at concerts.
Can’t say I blame them. Should I put some earplugs in or is the concert over tonight?
I guess it’s over. Unless you have a request.
My request is that you stop singing.
I’m done.
Thank God. Night.
Laughing to myself, I set my alarm and put my phone back on the charger. Wrapping my arms around my pillow and hugging it close, I took a few deep breaths.
Hello, heart? This is brain. We’d like to remind you of the rules on this ride.
In order to stay safe, you must keep your hands, feet, and feelings inside the cart at all times. We cannot be responsible for items that are lost or stolen. In case of an emergency, please use the nearest exit.
But my heart refused to listen.
Late Sunday afternoon, there was a knock on my front door. When I opened it, I saw Hallie and Luna standing on my porch. They wore nice clothes, as if they’d been to church, and Hallie’s two French braids were perfect and even—pretty, but I sort of liked Dex’s lopsided pigtails better.
“Hi, girls! How are you?”
“Good.” Luna beamed. “Daddy painted our room. Pink and purple.”
“I heard. Do you love it?”
“Yes!”
“But we came to tell you something even better,” Hallie said.
“What’s that?”
“We’re getting a cat!” Luna said excitedly. “We went to the adoption place right after church today and picked him out.”
“Yay!” I clapped my hands. “Come in and tell me about him. Does your dad know you’re here?”
“Yes,” Hallie said as they followed me to the kitchen. They climbed onto the stools at my island. “He said we could knock on your door, but if you weren’t home we had to come right back.”
“I’ll send him a quick text.” I grabbed my phone and sent Dex a note letting him know the girls were with me, then set it aside. “Okay, tell me everything.”
“He’s black with white feet,” gushed Luna.
“And he’s so soft,” added Hallie. “He loves to be petted.”
“I can’t wait to meet him. When can you bring him home?”
“Tomorrow after school,” said Hallie. “So after we change clothes, we’re going to the pet store to get food and a bed and some toys for him.”
“What are you going to name him?” I asked.
The girls looked at each other. Hallie sighed. “That’s a problem.”
“Why?”
“Daddy said since we picked the cat, he gets to name him.”
I laughed. “What does he want to name him?”
“Here are the choices.” Hallie pulled a piece of paper from her skirt pocket and read it solemnly. “Steven Tyler, Freddie Mercury, or Eddie Van Halen.”
I covered my mouth with one hand. “Which one do you like best?”
Hallie looked at me like I was nuts. “None of them. Those aren’t cat names. Those are man names.”
“I like Freddie,” said Luna.
“I do too,” I told her. “And what if you called him Freddie Purrcury?”
Hallie perked right up. “That’s perfect! I mean—purrfect.”
“Hello?” Dex’s voice floated through the screen door.
“Come on in!” I called.
I heard the door open and close, and he appeared in the kitchen a moment later. He was also dressed for church, in charcoal gray pants and a light blue button-down. I’d never seen him in that color blue before, and I liked the way it looked against his skin. My pulse quickened when he smiled at me.
“Hey,” I said. “I’m just hearing all about your new cat.”
“We’ll name him Freddie Purrcury,” Luna said. “Is that okay with you?”
Dex groaned. “I guess.”
“I think it’s a good compromise,” I said, patting his shoulder.
“Can Winnie come to the pet store with us, Daddy?” Hallie asked.
“Please,” added Luna, clasping her hands in prayer beneath her chin.
“That’s up to her,” Dex said.
I hated to disappoint them, but I couldn’t. “I’m sorry, girls. But my real estate agent is coming over, so I have to stay here.”
“What’s a real estate agent?” Luna asked.
“It’s the person who’s going to help me sell my condo.”
“You’re moving?” Hallie’s eyes were wide.
I felt sad, breaking the news. “Yes. I have to, because I have a new job in Rhode Island.”
“Where’s Rhode Island?” Luna looked from me to her dad. “Is it close?”
Dex shook his head.
“So we won’t see you anymore?” Hallie asked, looking like she might cry. “Ever again?”
“Sure, you will. I’ll come back for visits.” I tried to sound reassuring. “I just won’t live next door anymore.”
“But who will live here?” asked Luna, her expression worried. “And will they adopt Piglet?”
“Piglet will come with me,” I told her with a smile. “And you’ll have a new neighbor living here—maybe even some kids. That would be fun.”
They didn’t look convinced.
“I’m sad,” Luna said.
“Me too,” added Hallie. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Hey, listen.” Dex spoke up, reaching over to tweak Luna’s ear. “How about, ‘Congratulations on your new job, Winnie?’ Or ‘We’re happy for you, Winnie?’ Or even ‘We’ll miss you, Winnie, but we’ll keep in touch?’ Stop making her feel bad. She has to move for work.”
“Sorry,” Hallie said. “Congratulations on your new job, Winnie.”
“We’re happy for you.” Luna sounded anything but happy.
“Thank you.” I smiled, although I didn’t feel happy either at the moment. “I’ll really miss having you right next door, but your dad is right. We can keep in touch.”
“We can email from my iPad, Luna,” Hallie said.
“That’s perfect.” I reached for the pad of paper where I scribbled my grocery list and wrote down my personal email address. “Here. Email me any time.”
“Are you leaving before tomorrow?” Luna looked scared. “You won’t be able to meet Freddie Purrcury.”
“No,” I said, laughing. “I’m not leaving until October. I’ve got a whole month here. And I cannot wait to meet Freddie Purrcury.”
“Come on, girls.” Dex gestured for the kids to get down from their stools. “We have to go change and get to the pet store before it closes. And Winnie doesn’t want us in here messing up her place before the agent gets here.”
“It’s no big deal,” I said. “She’s just going to give me some advice for showing it and help me come up with a listing price.”
“Hopefully, it sells quickly.” He shooed the girls toward the front door.
“Yes, hopefully so.” I crossed my fingers and held them up, although I felt like hiding them behind my back. “Have fun at the pet store.”
It felt strange watching him leave without a hug or our usual jokes, and the place seemed extra empty once they were gone.
Piglet came wandering out, now that the coast was clear, twining around my ankles. When she meowed, I knelt down to pet her.
“Don’t scold me, okay? I’m only sad because I like our usual goodbyes. I like his hugs. I like his kisses. That’s not the same as being in love with someone.”
But it was a slippery slope, and even Piglet knew it.