Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
dex
The crunching woke me even before the shit-talking.
Through the haze of a dream—in which I was trying to climb a tree to rescue Freddie Purrcury, who just kept jumping from branch to branch—I heard the crackle of a bag and then loud munching. Were those little shitheads eating chips for breakfast?
“Daddy’s earlobes are funny. Don’t you think?” Crunch, crunch, crunch.
“Funny like how?” Luna asked.
“I don’t know.” Hallie stuck something in her mouth and spoke around it. “They’re just so big and lobey.”
Luna giggled. “Yeah.”
More crackling of the bag. More crunching. And if I wasn’t mistaken, I felt some crumbs drop onto my chest.
“Hallie, look what you did. You got Cheetos in Daddy’s chest hair.”
I felt someone blowing on me. “Now they’re gone.”
“No. You missed some. Right there, it’s orange. See?”
“Be careful, Luna. You’re gonna drip.”
That’s when I felt a cold splat on my belly.
I opened my eyes and saw a purple blob at the top of my abs. “What the hell is that?”
“It’s jelly from my toast.” Luna leaned over and slurped it up like an anteater. “Sorry.”
“Jesus Christ.” I looked at Hallie, who held a bag of Cheetos. Her fingers were coated with bright orange. “Is that supposed to be your breakfast?”
She shrugged. “I was hungry.”
“Your sister made toast. You couldn’t at least pour cereal?”
“She didn’t make toast, she dumped grape jelly on a piece of bread.”
“I was scared to use the toaster,” Luna confirmed with her mouth full.
I dropped my head back onto the pillow. “What time is it?”
“It’s after seven. We got an email from Winnie, want to hear it?”
No, I didn’t. Just hearing her name was hard enough.
She’d been gone for ten days, and it seemed like she’d been on my mind for every minute of them.
Every time I thought about her, my chest hurt.
I’d picked up my phone to call her a thousand times, but hearing her voice wasn’t going to make me miss her less.
I thought about texting, but it seemed selfish—she’d asked for time, and I wanted to give it to her.
Plus, I didn’t exactly trust myself not to say something crazy.
I’m an idiot. Come back. I love you. Stay with me.
But I was desperate for news about her too. Was she okay? How was her new apartment? Her new job? Did she love it? Did she miss home? Did she miss me? Every time I thought of her in that soft white sweater, I pined for her a little more. Was it possible I’d never hold her in my arms again?
“Can you read it to me?” I asked.
Hallie went to get her iPad, and Luna wiped her sticky hands on her nightgown. “I got some jelly on the counter,” she told me. “And on the floor.”
“Great.”
“And Freddie Purrcury stepped in it.”
I frowned. “Even better.”
Hallie returned, carrying her iPad instead of her Cheetos.
“Dear Hallie and Luna,” she read. “I was so happy to get your email and the photos you sent. You did a great job painting your nails! I miss playing salon with you too. My new job is keeping me very busy. I meet lots of new people every day. Piglet misses you too. She isn’t used to our new home yet, and I think she is mad at me about the move.
But it’s very nice, even if my next-door neighbors are not as fun as you.
You asked when I was coming home for a visit, and the answer is next weekend.
I will be there from Friday to Sunday for a work event at Cloverleigh Farms. I don’t know if you will be with your mom or your dad, but let me know and maybe we can work something out.
After that, I am not sure when I will be home next.
Write back soon and send me more pictures. Here is one for you. Love, Winnie.”
“Did she send you a picture?” I asked, desperate to see her face.
“Yes.” Hallie showed me the screen, and my heart lurched at the sight of Winnie’s deep blue eyes, soft smile, and pink cheeks. She held Piglet, who looked about as happy to be in the photo as I felt staring at it. Something the size of a golf ball was lodged in my throat.
“Where are we next weekend, Daddy?” Luna asked. “Can we see her?”
“Uh . . .” I had to think. “That’s your mom’s wedding.”
“But that’s Saturday,” Hallie said. “Couldn’t we see her Friday when she gets here? Or Sunday, the day after?”
“Maybe.” I tried to swallow and couldn’t. “I’ll—I’ll text her and find out when she gets in. I also need to check with Mom about the wedding schedule.”
“Okay. Can we go out for breakfast?”
“I guess.” But I didn’t want to go anywhere. I just wanted to stay in bed, stare at her photo, and feel sorry for myself.
“Can we go to Winnie’s bakery?”
“Can’t we go somewhere else?”
“No, that’s our favorite place on Saturday mornings.” Luna giggled. “You still have Cheeto dust in your chest hair.”
Dropping my chin, I gave her my best grumpy Dad face. “Go get dressed, and put that nightgown in your laundry basket. It’s got jelly all over it.”
“Can you text Winnie right now and ask about the weekend?” Hallie pleaded.
“No.” I needed to think about exactly what I was going to say to her. “I want to talk to Mom first. I’ll do that when I drop you guys off today. Now go get dressed.”
That afternoon, after hugging the girls goodbye in the driveway, I asked Naomi if she had a minute.
“Sure.” She sent the girls into the house with instructions to clean their messy rooms, and turned back to me with her arms folded. “What’s up?”
“Winnie is going to be in town next weekend, and the girls want to know if there’s any time they can see her.”
Naomi sighed. “Next weekend is going to be really busy with the wedding.”
“I know. I can tell them it won’t work.”
“No, no, don’t do that. They talk about her all the time, and they’ll be sad if they miss her visit completely.” A chill October wind blew her hair across her forehead, and she tucked it behind her ear. “How long will she be here?”
“Friday to Sunday.”
“Is she staying with you?”
I made a face like the question was crazy. “No! I have no idea where she’s staying. Why would she be staying with me?”
“Take it easy.” Naomi held up her hands. “The way the girls have talked about the situation, I sort of thought you might be more than friends.”
“Well, we’re not. She’s not in town to see me.”
My ex studied me carefully. “But you care about her.”
I closed my eyes. Clenched my jaw. “Naomi, don’t.”
“Dex, come on. Don’t get mad. In the two years since we split up, the girls have never once mentioned a female friend, and after she came around, it was nothing but Winnie this and Winnie that. It’s obvious she was around a lot.”
“She was,” I admitted.
“It’s okay. It’s not like I expected you to be alone forever. And you’ve always been very accepting of my relationship with Bryce.”
“Me being alone forever is a lot more likely than a relationship with Winnie.”
“Why?”
I scowled at her. “Why do you even care?”
“Because I care about you, Dex.” She poked a finger at my chest. “Maybe you find this hard to believe, but I do actually want you to be happy. It’s true that our marriage didn’t work, and I don’t think you tried hard enough to save it, but I don’t believe it’s because you weren’t capable.
That’s what drove me crazy all the time.
You could be a good partner to someone—if you let them in. ”
I rubbed a hand over my jaw. “You should know better than anyone, that isn’t my thing.”
“Oh, believe me, I know.” She sighed. “But maybe you and I were just the wrong fit. Maybe I was never going to get over feeling shut out. Maybe your emotional baggage and mine were always going to prevent us from giving the other what they needed. And I wasn’t going to settle for being unhappy, Dex. That’s why I asked you to leave.”
“I know.”
Her voice softened. “And you didn’t fight me.”
I shook my head.
“At the time, I was hurt, but I came to accept that we were better off apart. And now I found someone who can give me what I need.”
“I’m glad for you,” I said, and I meant it.
She smiled. “Thanks. And we’ll figure out something for that weekend. I need them Friday for the rehearsal and Saturday is the wedding, but I was going to have my mom take them back to her house at maybe ten or so. They’ll be tired.”
“Why don’t I just pick them up from the reception?”
“That works. Let’s say ten-thirty in the lobby of the yacht club?”
I nodded. “I have to work Monday, so I’ll have them back Sunday evening.”
“Okay. Thanks again for letting me have them during your weekend. If you’d like them for an overnight during your off days this week, just let me know. We can work it out.”
I thought for a moment. “I have some coaching sessions Monday and Wednesday, but Tuesday would work.”
She smiled. “Perfect. I’ll tell them you’ll pick them up from school. Oh—they have dentist appointments that day. I think at four-ten and four-forty.”
I took out my phone and put the appointments in. “Got it. They’ll be there.”
“Good.” She paused. “I wasn’t going to say anything about this, but I ran into your sister the other day and she told me about your dad. That’s . . . that’s tough. And I’m sorry.”
I adjusted the cap on my head, feeling guilty because I still hadn’t talked things out with Bree. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Are you going to see him?”
“I don’t think so.”
She nodded. “I get it.”
“Do you think I’m being too harsh?” I asked. Naomi had been around since high school and all through my mom’s illness, so she knew the history.
Exhaling, she lifted her shoulders. “I think you have a powerful sense of right and wrong, and you’ve always known which side of the line he’s on. But I also know that letting go of painful shit from the past feels better than hanging on to it.”
“Yeah.” I hefted my keys in my hand, impatient to leave. “I’m still thinking about it.”
“Good luck. And Dex . . .” She put a hand on my arm. “I know your first instinct is to shut down when things get emotional, but don’t shut Bree out. She’s worried about you.”
I stiffened, annoyed even though I knew she was right. “I know. I’ll talk to her.”