Chapter 16 Veronica
SIXTEEN
veronica
“Tell me more about growing up with five siblings,” I said once we were heading east on the interstate out of Illinois. I wanted to know more about him, and family seemed like his first priority.
“We were close, when we didn’t want to kill each other.”
“Did you share bedrooms?” I asked, remembering how quiet the house was growing up an only child.
He nodded. “Xander and I shared, Devlin and Dash shared. Mabel was the princess who had her own room.”
“She grew up with four brothers,” I said with a laugh. “She needed space. But she doesn’t strike me as the princess type.”
“I guess she wasn’t, not in the spoiled brat sense of the word. And she wasn’t super girly. She was more of a tomboy if anything. She was always trying to keep up with us.”
“So other than you and Xander, did all of you get along?”
“Yeah. And I think Xander and I only fought so much because we’re closest in age, and both of us were competitive. He had sports as an outlet, but I didn’t have time for sports in high school. I always worked.”
Sympathy squeezed my heart—he really had been forced to grow up fast. “What’s Devlin like?”
“Now? I’d say he’s driven. Successful. Focused. As a kid, he was a handful, but he quit being so rebellious once he got to high school. He wanted a college degree and knew he’d need decent grades.”
“So he was a good student?”
“He was definitely the best student of the boys. But he was motivated—he wanted to run his own business, make a lot of money, drive a nice car, all that.”
“And does he?”
“He’s on his way,” Austin said, a touch of pride in his voice. “He works his ass off. An office job would not be for me, but he seems to love corporate life.”
“And he’s how old?”
“He’s twenty-eight. Lives in Boston.”
“What about Dash?”
“Dash is twenty-six. He was wild as a kid, tons of energy, always breaking the rules. But he was always such a ham, he got out of trouble pretty easily. He could sweet talk anyone.”
I smiled. “Did he always want to be an actor?”
“Yeah. Have you seen Malibu Splash?”
“No,” I admitted. “But the twins told me it’s good.”
Austin laughed. “That’s because they’re the target audience.
Sometimes I feel bad for Dash because he wants to be a more serious actor, but he got popular on this show, and now he’s kind of trapped by his contract.
Other times, I see his photos online attending a party or premiere, and I think, you know what? That asshole’s doing just fine.”
I smiled. “Does he have a girlfriend?”
“Not that I know of. Dash says dating is too hard in Hollywood. Everyone seems fake.” He was silent a moment. “I’d never want to be famous.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I mean, the money would be nice, but it seems like it comes with some pretty big downsides. No privacy, no freedom to do normal things without people in your face, no way to know for sure who you can trust. And you always have to be on, you know? Fuck that.”
“Yeah.”
He glanced at me. “What about you? You’ve got all kinds of talent. Did you want to be famous?”
I laughed. “I have one kind of talent, and it’s not really the kind that takes you to Hollywood, not these days anyway. I missed the golden age of the Hollywood musical by about eighty years. But I like the stage better than the camera, anyway.”
“Yeah?”
“It feels more immediate, more exciting. I love a big audience, the applause, the energy in the air. Honestly, being a Rockette was my dream from a really early age. My mom cleaned for a wealthy family that gave her two tickets to see the Christmas show when I was young, and she scraped together train fare and took me—I had stars in my eyes from the moment the curtain went up. I knew what I wanted to do with my life.”
He glanced at me. “Do you miss dancing?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “Without dance, it’s like a huge part of me is just dead—my soul or something. It’s always been my escape, my passion, my happiest place.”
“How old were you when you started?”
“Two. And it was pure luck that got me started. My mom took a job cleaning a local dance studio on Sundays when it was closed, and she had to bring me along. I used to spend hours twirling and jumping and dancing to music only I could hear in front of all those mirrors. One day, the studio owner was there doing paperwork or something, and she saw me and thought I had potential. She invited me to take a class for free, even though I wasn’t even technically old enough. ”
“And you loved it?”
“More than anything.” The childhood joy of arriving at the studio before class hit me all over again.
“Growing up, I was never happier than when I was dancing. Not just because I got attention for it, although the attention was nice. But I was home alone a lot, and the studio was always so busy and noisy and welcoming. It was a second home. My teachers and friends were like family.”
“I bet you were the best one there.”
I laughed. “You know what? I was good, but I wasn’t always the best. I just worked my ass off, and it was obvious I loved being there and wanted to learn. I was determined—eyes on the prize.” I smiled at him. “What was your prize when you were young? Did you always want to run the family business?”
“Not really.” He was silent a moment, eyes on the road. “I wanted to go to college to study architecture.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“My family needed me at home.”
I waited for him to go on, but he didn’t, and I realized that for Austin, it was as simple as that—his family needed him, and he wasn’t going to let them down.
He’d set aside his own goals, stayed home, helped raise his siblings, and worked with his father.
Then he watched every single one of his siblings leave the nest to chase their dreams. It made even more sense to me now that he’d insisted on raising the twins on his own rather than give them up.
He’d never put his own needs or wants first.
It was honorable—and undeniably sexy—but it also had to result in a lot of pent-up frustration, didn’t it?
Did he ever feel angry? Did he ever resent being the one left behind?
The one who never got to go after what he wanted?
Even now, he refused to abandon the family business and treated his furniture business more like a passion project.
What about personal needs? He was an amazing son, father, and brother, but he was still a man. I glanced over at his handsome profile, then let my gaze wander down his chest to the apex of his thighs. Memories from last night flooded my mind, and the flutter from my stomach moved between my legs.
I wanted him in my bed again tonight, but more than that, I wanted to do something for him that made him feel like the center of the universe. Like only his needs mattered.
He could have delivered that table this morning and had the rest of the day to spend in his workshop, doing what he loved.
This was his first full day without the kids.
Instead, he spent most of the day hauling me to Chicago just because he didn’t want me to face my ex alone.
And he’d stood up for me too. He would have taken a punch for me if Neil hadn’t taken such a ridiculously slow and obvious swing.
I felt like he’d put me first. Besides my mom, had anyone else ever done that?
He hooked his left hand over his right shoulder and kneaded the muscle.
“Is that still bothering you?” I asked. “Here, let me.” Shifting sideways on the seat, I reached over and began to massage his neck and shoulder. “God, you’re so tight. We need to stretch you out.”
“That sounds really fucking painful. I’m picturing a rack.”
I giggled. “No torture devices. We’ll do some yoga together.”
“No. Fucking. Way.”
“Why not? The kids love it.”
“The kids have seven-year-old bodies. And besides, there’s no way I could concentrate on stretching while you do those yoga poses. I almost lost my mind the first morning I saw you out in the backyard.”
“Oh yeah? Were you watching me?” I asked coyly.
“I couldn’t look away—I felt like the world’s biggest pervert.”
“It was just a few yoga poses.”
“Not in my mind, it wasn’t.”
“Okay, then how about a real massage?”
“No, thanks. I don’t like other people’s hands all over my body.”
“I meant from me, silly.” I leaned closer to whisper in his ear. “Complete with happy ending.”
He groaned. “You’re making my pants tight.”
“I can take care of that right now, if you want.” I moved my hand to his crotch and stroked him through the denim. “With my hand, or with my mouth.”
“Jesus Christ. You have to stop that or I won’t be able to drive. And I’ll have a hell of a time explaining to the state trooper behind us why I’m all over the road.”
“That’s fine. You can save it all up for me until we get home.” I leaned close again, tugging at his earlobe with my teeth. “I’ll be very thirsty by then.”
His jaw clenched. “Fuck.”
“And Austin—we should probably stop and get some more condoms. A giant box of them.”
Despite the state trooper behind us, he pushed a little harder on the gas.
We didn’t get home until almost eleven. As we pulled into the driveway, Austin said he wanted to call the kids really quick.
“That’s fine,” I said. “I’d like to take a shower anyway.”
“I’m going to grab one too. I’ll leave the back door open. Come over when you’re ready?”
“You want me to come to the house?” I asked, surprised.
“Is that okay?”
“Yes, I just . . .” I struggled to explain why it felt like a big deal. “The house is like your family space. I don’t want to intrude on it.”
He cocked his head. “Veronica, for the past six hours, all I’ve done is think about all the ways I’m going to intrude on your body. For fuck’s sake, you can spend the night in my room.”
I laughed. “Okay, I’ll be over in a few.”