Chapter 20 Veronica #2
“I need to fuck you. Right now.”
But I bent my head and took him deep once more, bobbing my head in a steady rhythm, rubbing my painted lips up and down his cock. He pulsed once in my mouth, and I tasted him on my tongue.
“That’s it.” Bolting upright, he hooked me beneath the arms and dragged me up his body. “I want you to ride it. Now.”
“So much for me getting to be the boss.” But I reached into the nightstand drawer for a condom.
“I’ll let you be on top. That’s the compromise.”
He watched as I rolled the condom on, his entire body radiating impatience.
When I positioned him between my legs, he gripped my hips, moaning as I sank down, inch by inch.
When he was sheathed inside me, I went still for a moment, my hands on his chest, my eyes closing, giving my body a moment to adjust to being invaded so deeply and fully.
Then I started to move—slow, languorous rocking motions in time to a lazy beat.
He fastened his mouth to one breast, each pull resonating deep within me.
Cradling his head in my hands, I circled my hips a little faster, feeling him grow harder inside me, my need for release spiraling higher.
But even as all my muscles tightened, my body felt free and easy and loose.
I was heat, I was golden, I was liquid, I was passion.
I was motion, I was friction, I was rhythm, I was desire.
And I was the object of his desire. I was wanted.
I was craved. Beneath his hands, my skin caught fire.
Beneath his mouth, my body begged for more.
I rode him with shameless abandon, tugging his hair, scratching his back, clutching his shoulders.
I took what I wanted, what I needed, reveling in the way my core was tightening around him, in the way he drove into me, in the way our bodies moved in perfect harmony.
“Come for me,” he growled, barely taking his mouth from my breast. “I want to feel your pussy come on all those marks you left.”
His words pushed me over the edge, and my climax tore through me, my body clenching around him again and again.
He came immediately after I did, his cock throbbing within my fluttering walls.
It was heavenly perfection, as if we’d been made for each other.
How was anyone else ever going to measure up?
Don’t think about that, I warned myself as I caught my breath.
Austin fell back and took me with him, so my head rested on his chest. His arms came around me and his heart thundered in my ear. I closed my eyes and listened to its rhythm slow.
“So was the massage just an excuse to put those kiss marks all over me?”
“No. But I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. Did you?”
“Yes. But you can never put on lipstick in front of me again, because I will immediately get a hard-on.”
I smiled. “Good to know.”
We slept at my apartment. Saturday morning, Austin was gone when I woke up. I reached for my phone and saw he’d texted.
Didn’t want to wake you. Working with my dad today, then running a few errands. I’ll call you later.
My shoulder and neck feel better than they have in months, so thank you for that.
And thank you for this.
The next thing he’d sent was a photo of his chest—his collarbone still wore the kiss mark I’d put there last night. It made me smile.
I washed the rest of them off in the shower this morning. DAMN that stuff is hard to remove. But I couldn’t resist leaving this one alone.
I’m glad. I like thinking about it.
And about you.
Must be why I’m always doing it.
After I hit send, I wondered if that was too much. We didn’t really message mushy stuff to each other, just logistics and sometimes dirty things. Maybe I was overthinking it.
But I couldn’t help comparing the experience of receiving his photo to the last time a guy had sent me one—Neil’s wedding-day dick pic. I shook my head. That one made my stomach turn. This one made my heart flutter.
I lay back in bed, draping an arm over my forehead. If I’d met Austin at another time in my life, or in his life, could things have been different between us? I couldn’t imagine when that might have been, since I was only twenty-two when he’d become a father.
We’d never really stood a chance.
That afternoon, I ran into Ari at the salon, where I’d lucked out with an appointment to get my nails done last-minute. She’d just gotten a haircut and highlights.
“You look fabulous,” I told her as we left the salon together. “I hope you have a hot date tonight.”
“I do—with my Kindle.” She laughed. “We get hot and steamy on my couch every Saturday night. I light a candle, open some wine . . . book boyfriends never let me down. Hey, you want to grab coffee or something?” She tossed her mahogany waves over one shoulder.
“I don’t want to waste this hair entirely. ”
“Sure,” I said. “I have some time.”
We headed up the block toward a place called L’Arbre Croche Café. “What are you up to tonight?” she asked.
“Austin and I are going to dinner at The Pier Inn.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Austin Buckley?”
I laughed. “Yes.”
“So are you two . . .” She trailed off dramatically.
“We’re just friends.”
“Austin’s never taken any other friends to dinner at The Pier Inn,” she said, elbowing me.
“I’m sure he has.”
She shook her head. “This is a small town. And Austin is one of its most eligible bachelors. Trust me—I’d have heard about it. The man doesn’t date.”
“He’s mentioned that a few times.”
We reached the café, and she pulled the door open. “Mabel is always giving him shit about it.”
After placing orders at the counter, we moved toward the pickup station. “You and Mabel have been friends a long time, huh?”
“Oh, yeah. For as long as I can remember. If we weren’t at her house, we were at my house. My mom was really close to her mom,” she explained. “So my parents were always trying to help out. Mr. Buckley had his hands full—although Austin did a lot too.”
“That’s what I hear.” We picked up our drinks and moved to a table by the window.
“When he wasn’t working, he was doing something for one of the other kids. It had to be frustrating to see all his friends goofing off or going out when he had responsibilities.”
“Yeah.”
“He’d take it out on Xander. Those two used to beat the crap out of each other.” Ari shook her head. “But if anyone else messed with Xander, Austin would be the first to defend him, and vice versa.”
I nodded and sipped my cold brew. “They’re such a close family. I hope I get a chance to meet the other siblings.”
“Devlin doesn’t get home too often. Dash usually honors everyone with his presence around the holidays.” She rolled her eyes.
“Not a fan?” I asked.
“He just gets on my nerves,” she said with a shrug. But the way her cheeks were suddenly painted raspberry-pink told me there was probably history there.
“Do I sense a crush?”
The raspberry turned to crimson. “No,” she said emphatically. “He’s like an older brother to me. And he treats me like another little sister. He always has.”
Oh, there was a crush all right. But I let it go for now. “So let me ask you this. When you guys were all growing up, did Austin ever have a serious girlfriend?”
She exhaled and looked out the window for a moment, like she had to think hard.
“Not that I recall. But Mabel and I were a lot younger. When he was in high school, we were still pretty little. I do know that once the twins arrived, he never dated anyone around here. The town biddies are always trying to set him up—my mother has tried to get him to take every single one of my cousins out—but he just doesn’t do it.
If he didn’t have those kids, I might think he wasn’t that into women. ”
“He’s definitely into women,” I confirmed without thinking.
Her eyes met mine and widened like full moons. “You sound very certain of that. Almost like you had inside information.”
Heat crept up my neck and into my face.
“And now you’re blushing,” she pointed out. She sipped on her straw, waiting for me to say more.
“Uh . . .” I tried to think of a way to cover for myself, but the truth was that I was dying to talk about this with someone who knew Austin. Could I trust Ari? “So this is a bit delicate.”
“I am the soul of discretion. You can ask Mabel—I was one thousand percent the better secret-keeper between the two of us.”
I hesitated. Was this okay? I mean, Xander knew, right? And Ari was like family. “Okay, but this really needs to stay between us.”
She crossed her heart.
“So ever since I met Austin, there’s been this . . .”
“Tension between you,” Ari said with a nod. “I saw it the day you came in for breakfast. And everyone saw it at The Broken Spoke.”
“Were you there that night?” I couldn’t remember seeing her.
She shook her head. “I didn’t need to be. Small town. Go on.”
“Okay. So we sort of agreed that it would be inappropriate to act on it once he hired me, but that line grew a little fuzzy once the kids left for California.”
“And by fuzzy you mean it disappeared entirely.”
I snapped my fingers. “Like that.”
“So?” Her eyes danced. “How was it?”
“So good you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I took a breath. “So good I don’t want it to stop.”
“Why would it stop?”
“Because the kids are coming home. And we agreed from the get-go that was the finish line.”
Ari tilted her head. “Have you talked about it since?”
“Not really.” I shook the ice around in my cup. “I can’t bring myself to ask him what he’s thinking.”
“Why not?”
My fear of rejection seemed like a lot to get into right now. “I’m just worried that the answer won’t be what I want it to be.”
“I get that,” she said. “It’s scary to put yourself out there, especially if you laid out the parameters beforehand.”
“We did. That’s exactly it—we did. I’m afraid that he might get upset with me for trying to change the rules. And we’d have to sneak around behind the kids’ backs. And I’m leaving in a month anyway, you know?”
Ari thought for a moment. “Do you have to leave in a month?”
“Yes. The nanny job is over mid-August. I’m going back to New York.”
“You have a job lined up already?”
“I’m working on it.”
“I’m just wondering if there was a way you could stay here. Find a different job.”
“And live where?”
She shrugged. “Over Austin’s garage.”
I shook my head. “No. I can’t suggest that.
It’s way too much.” And I would rather die than see the look on Austin’s face as he tried to let me down easy, or worse, agreed to let me stay even though he didn’t really want me to because he thought it was the right thing to do.
What if he said yes because of his sense of duty?
What if he felt obligated to say yes because he promised he’d never hurt me, but he didn’t really want me to stick around?
My skin started to prickle. My heart began to pound. Suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe, and little gray dots began to swim before my eyes. A siren went off in my head.
“Hey, are you okay?” Ari asked.
I refocused on her concerned face. “What?”
“You suddenly turned white.”
“Oh, sorry.” Closing my eyes, I inhaled and exhaled. “Just a little panic attack.”
“Need some air? Want to go outside?”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Come on.” We got up from the table and she took my arm, leading me back out into the sunshine.
I gulped several breaths of fresh summer air—fudge. The lake. The baskets of fragrant flowers hanging off each streetlamp on Main Street. Gradually, my pulse decelerated, and my skin stopped tingling.
“Better?” she asked.
“Better.”
“I’m sorry for upsetting you. I didn’t mean to.”
I shook my head. “It’s not you. Believe me, it’s nothing I haven’t thought about, I just can’t face my fears enough to do it. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks. It seems ludicrous to suggest that what we have might be worth upending our lives for.”
“Well, I don’t know.” She smiled. “Have you ever heard the story about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley?”
“Yes. Austin told me.”
“So it can happen quickly. And a man can swear up and down he’s never going to fall in love, but the right woman comes along, and boom—he burns down a city for her.”
I laughed ruefully. “I think you’ve been out with too many book boyfriends.”
She sighed heavily. “I know. It’s a problem.”
Back at home, I got ready for our not-a-date, telling myself just to relax and have a good time tonight. Not to think about tomorrow. Not to think about leaving him. Not to think about loving him.
One final, glorious night before the curtain came down.