18. Guidance
Guidance
The sun had set by the time I left the warehouse.
I grabbed my phone to call Captain Smith, but at the last moment, tossed it onto the empty passenger seat.
He was probably more upset than I was about the case.
With the thieves dead, the hard drive gone, and the feds shutting us out completely, there was no way of spinning this into a successful political campaign for him.
His dreams, dashed right before his eyes, and I knew exactly who he'd take it out on. Probably blame me for not finding the thieves faster. But it didn’t matter. I was done for the day.
I arrived home just before eight. And waiting for me by the window was Fred.
I could see his snout poking out from under the curtain.
He was livid. Fred loved going outside every afternoon when I got home from work, but today he’d spent all day cooped up inside.
Normally, my aunt would help me out and take him outside for a bit on busy days like today, but she got caught up at a doctor’s appointment.
Her arthritis had been acting up lately.
Fred didn’t like her too much. Not because she was rude to him, but because of the pungent metallic smell that lingered when she passed.
He’d grimace whenever she got too close.
Her twisted fingers, and their gnarly shapes, demanded a heavy application to ease the pain.
“Woof!” barked Fred from the other side of the door. I purposely came in through the back for this very reason. Damn dog noticed and got here before I could even open the door.
“Fred! Back up,” I said to him as I pushed the door in.
His body had blocked the door partially, and as I entered, he slithered like an eel between the door and my legs to the outside.
He was wild. Like a captive animal being freed after a long time from its cage.
And of course he went for his favorite toy.
An old and dirty emerald green ball he loved to chew on.
And chase. I walked into the kitchen, reached inside the fridge, and pulled out a cold beer.
It had been a while since I had a drink, but after today, I could use one.
I placed my badge on the countertop and next to it, my gun; then turned it slightly towards the open door. Just in case.
I collapsed onto an old lounge chair opposite the countertop that my father built.
He’d worked as a carpenter during his college years and kept it up long after finishing.
Told me he got into the field because Jesus was a carpenter; he was very religious.
And strict. He supported me all the way throughout college, and until I told him I was going to the police academy.
Our relationship soured a little after that.
He always told me he wanted better things for me, so I can imagine he wasn’t thrilled when I followed in his footsteps.
Years later, as he got older and sicker, we rekindled our relationship.
And I’m glad we did. As his life came to a close, I found myself more lost and confused than in my younger years.
It was my father who helped guide me back to the church.
Helped me out of the rut I’d found myself in.
Since then, I’ve tried my best to meet his expectations.
I attend church every weekend, when I can, and more often when things unravel and I need guidance.
And it’s on days like today that bring him back to mind.
Challenging days when things don’t go as planned.
Or, as the captain would so eloquently put it, when shit hits the fan; the prayer he taught me years ago as a child comes to mind.
“Pray on good days, and during the bad ones. Pray for strength to guide you when lost and to enlighten you when confused. Pray before you sleep and when you wake. Learn it by heart,” my father would say.
To my right and by the chair stood an old, single cabinet desk.
He built that as well. I opened the drawer and reached inside.
I kept only one item inside. My father’s old rosary that he held onto as he passed.
It was given to him by his mother and had been in the family for quite some time.
Faded and brown in parts, with a reddish string and a simple cross at the end.
I held it in my left hand, placed the beer down on the desk, and then recited his favorite prayer.
Glory be to the Father,
And to the Son,
And to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning
Is now, and ever shall be
World without end.
Amen.